#Simulation assignment help
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fangbangerghoul · 5 months ago
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QUICK I HAVE TO DECIDE OR ELSE ILL SIT HERE AND DO NOTHING
i have about 2 hours of free time
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l3ominor · 1 year ago
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this class
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rrogueamendiares · 1 year ago
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girl help a uni project is making me want to kms again
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icewindandboringhorror · 9 months ago
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youtube
golf
#another case where I post something entirely random that has nothing to do with anything I've ever posted here#and seems very different from costumes and cat pictures or etc. but ghbhj..... I could spend hours having pointless conversations#with myself like this. briefly got fixated on making fake chats on this website for a period of like 3 days straight a few months ago#(its 'chat-simulator.com/simulator' I think..???) but I made a ton of them.. one with some random family bickering with each other. another#that was like a magic school group chat with like 8 differnet students helping each other with an assignment#and just talking about things. another was a fake text xonversation between a king's assistant#and someone who was working in the castle kitchens and they were trying to plan a time to meet up to exchange the stuff that the assistant#stole from the king so that the chef could sell the items on a black market or whatever. then this one with just some weird#group of friends trying to plan to meet up to play golf and etc. etc. etc.#Talking to myself has always been one of my favorite hobbies. for some reason it's so fun lol#just making up random discussions people might have#not even entertaining or interesting or funny ones but just like... anything.. it doesn't matter. It could be a 5 hour long discussion abou#cheese or something.#THOUGH maybe that is just an extension of having always been a writer like.......... isn't that basically just what writing is? making up#fake scenarios and conversations between fake people?? lol... But I guess Writing Writing usually has some sort of goal or story you're#trying to tell. Whereas stufff just like ''3 elves discuss their favorite bread toppings for 15 minutes'' has no purpose#and is not even that interesting or cool so there's no reason behind it and is more just silly fun I guess#Aside from the physical health problems and ocd over something bad happening to me or etc. I've often thought I would be good at one#of those 'get locked in a blank white room for 24 hours' type challenges. since I would probably just sit there and be like 'okey. :3#I shall have an elaborate group conversation about elven politics with myself.' and would just pace around the room acting as different#people arguing with each other for like 6 hours lol#ANYWAY.. ultimate recreational activity...#one tiny little glimpse here of the sorts of things that my computer is full of but that i never post lol#Its interesting how communication develops when you're just talking to yourself alone in a vacuum. Sort of like inside jokes between two#best friends that just seem nonsense to everyone else. My folders of things that probably just read as disconnected gibberish or something#but are just mildly amusing to me.#Though also I just realized this is so tiny on tumblr I can barely read it.. hrrm.
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jakesimfromstatefarm · 7 months ago
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the art & science of parenting 101 ─ p. js
↳ summary ── the art & science of parenting 101 (PSY1009): in this interactive course, students will explore the psychological, social, and biological foundations of parenthood. through a mix of theory and hands-on practice, you'll master the art of raising a simulated baby—aka the 'robot child'. late-night feedings, tantrum taming, and crisis control are all part of the deal.   what you didn't expect to be part of the deal? getting paired with jay park—the last person you'd trust to raise, well, anything. you’re pretty sure he couldn’t even take care of a pet rock. now, you’re stuck co-parenting this robot baby together for 40% of your final grade.  warning: sleep deprivation is guaranteed. and maybe, just maybe, some unexpected feelings for your disaster of a partner. good luck! 
↳ pairing ── jay park x y/n [ft. enha members!]
↳ genre ── e2l!au, college!au, (fake)parenting!au, he-fell-first, she-fell-harder type beat lolz || fluff, crack
↳ ✎ᝰ. 20.5k [ONCE AGAIN -- this was not intentional..if you know me i just have too much fun writing sometimes & get too attached to the characters...]
↳ contains ── mentions of parenting & parental neglect (sorta, only a smidge of like five words), crack! bc if you know me i self indulge in crack whoops, jay & y/n being opposites & school rivals, jay's annoying smirk like a million times, reader & jay are psych majors, jay's also a photographer, cheesy ass kisses, jay & reader are awkward! so awkward! there’s SO much tension . but in a cute awkward crush way
↳ addie's ✉ .ᐟ ── omg it’s finally done. tell me why it took me so long to finish, i promise i didn’t mean to but life’s been busier lately :’) aNyways! ugh i luv writing e2l!jay for some reason,,,he fits the trope so well in my eyes heh but i hope you all like him & the characters as much as i enjoyed writing them !!! as busy as i am i love indulging in my crack x enha writes :P hope u enjoy & tell me what you think <333
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
Welcome to PSY1009, The Art & Science of Parenting 101! Throughout the next 12 weeks, we’re going to dive deep into the wondrous world of parenting—dirty diapers and all. To kick off our course, we’re starting with our campus-famous project: raising your very own robot baby for the first half of the semester (with the help of your assigned partner, of course). Before our first class, we ask that you complete this pre-project questionnaire on your current views and opinions about parenting. No pressure—there are no right or wrong answers (maybe only judgements from your future robot offspring)!
Q1 – The Art & Science of Parenting 101 aims to apply different psychological approaches to parenting. What theories and methods do you believe are important to parenting? 
Y/N's Submission [8:25AM, September 18th]:
"I strongly believe that effective parenting revolves around a strict routine, which can be reinforced through the principles of operant conditioning, as developed by B.F. Skinner. Proper feeding schedules, consistent nap times, and regular development check-ins are essential—I think a structured timetable would ensure a baby's needs are met efficiently and consistently. With a set schedule and a focus on developmental milestones, I believe we can maximize a child's growth potential, even if it's just a robot baby.”
Q2 – What do you expect to learn and gain out of this co-parenting experience?  
Y/N's Submission [8:29AM, September 18th]:  
"I expect to confirm that a well-organized system is the key to successful parenting. I want to test my hypothesis that if you follow a set structure, yes, even with a robot baby, things will run smoothly. I am hoping that this experience runs smoothly with no unnecessary surprises.” 
✭・.・✫
Satisfied with your answers, you click 'submit' and close your laptop, feeling a wave of satisfaction as you settle into your seat—center of the second row—as you wait for the 9AM lecture to start.  
It's 8:30AM.  
You're the only one in the room.  
Yeah, you're a little early. So what? One can never be too prepared. You've waited for this course forever, and you're determined to not only ace it (like you do with every class) but to dominate. So yes, coming early is characteristic of you, as you want to ensure you get the best seat in the classroom: center of the second row—center to get the best view of the professor's podium, and second row to be close enough to show you're engaged, but not close enough that it screams, Look at me, I'm a tryhard!  
It's clear you've come prepared. Plus, this class isn't just any ordinary elective—it's the elective to take. Only the top students majoring in psychology get in, available only through direct invite by the professor. If you were invited to PSY1009, it meant you were the crème de la crème of psychology students. The best of the best. The elite. The— 
Your train of thought is derailed when an all-too-familiar figure strolls into the room with that signature smirk. Backpack slung lazily over one (1) shoulder (as if two straps are too much effort), hair clearly still bedhead status, wearing whatever clothes he fished off The Chair (you know, the one—where all questionable, semi-clean laundry lives). 
He strolls past you—of course—and plops down right in front of you.
Front row.  
Try-hard. 
"Y/N, fancy seeing you here," Jay Park spins around, a knowing look plastered on his face, eyes gleaming. "I missed seeing that frown of yours all summer." 
"What are you doing here, Jay?" You roll your eyes and scoff at his comment. "Don't tell me you got into this class. It's for serious students."  
Jay's grin only widens to your despair. "Contrary to your deeply misinformed opinion, Professor Kim actually loves me. I'm a great student."  
“I don’t believe it,” you deadpan back. “You never turn your assignments in on time, and quite frankly, I'm surprised you were even able to find this classroom."  
Jay shrugs, unfazed. "What can I say? Professor Kim doesn't just look at deadlines, she looks at talent. Guess that says a lot about me, huh?"  
You mumble something under your breath about ‘talent for procrastination’ but before he can fire back, Professor Kim walks into the room, cuing the silence of all the students who've filled up the class.  
"Good morning, class! I'm so happy to see so many familiar faces."  
Jay turns his head back towards the front of the room, as you instantly straighten up, flashing your favorite professor a smile. This is officially the fifth course you've taken with Professor Kim. It's no secret you’re one of her biggest fans—the countless early mornings you've spent waiting at your computer, finger hovering over the ‘enroll’ button the second registration opens so you can be one of the first students to sign up for her classes have proven that. Challenging but rewarding, her classes are always worth the effort.
And yet, for reasons beyond your comprehension, Jay Park—Jay Freaking Park—somehow always ends up in the same classes. Every. Single. Time. It’s like a curse.  
A loud, messy, procrastinating curse…
…that just so happens to have a side profile almost as annoyingly good that it only pisses you off more. 
You wonder if he’s actually here to learn or if he’s just here to spite you. Because, honestly, the amount of classes you’ve shared with him is no longer a coincidence. Five semesters in a row? Suspicious. 
But realistically, and unfortunately, Jay does study the same major as you, which means those last five semesters? Oh, those were five long semesters of endless debates on discussion boards, in-class duels over psychological theories, and the infamous showdown for the TA position in Professor Kim's Intro to Psychology course. And the worst part? Neither of you got the job because Professor Kim—in a diplomatic twist that made zero sense to you—deemed you both 'equally qualified.' So, the job went to the third best candidate instead. Tough luck.  
You open up your laptop again, opening a perfectly organized Google Doc, ready to take notes on whatever pearls of wisdom Professor Kim is currently bestowing about your upcoming project—which, in hindsight, you should really be paying attention to. You should be. But something so ridiculous, so blood-boiling, pulls your attention elsewhere.  
Jay's desk is completely...empty. 
No laptop. No notebook. Not even a measly little pencil. Did he bring an empty backpack? Or did he just walk in here like he's casually waiting for someone to present him his grade on a silver platter? He's just sitting there like this is a casual hangout—probably expecting his robot baby to parent itself while he simply supervises.  
Before your self-induced inner monologue spirals into complete rage, you suddenly hear your professor's voice cut through the class, breaking you out of your mental rant.  
"Y/N and Jay." 
Wait. What?
Your head snaps up so fast it's a miracle it didn't pop off your neck and roll away.
You blink. You must have misheard.
"Y/N and Jay," Professor Kim repeats as if she could read your confused expression, voice too nonchalant for the life-wrecking news she's about to deliver: "You two are partners."  
The words hit you like a bus. No, not even. The words hit you like a bus driven by a T-Rex that flips over, crashes into a building, and explodes into a million ashy pieces. And there you are—standing right in the middle of the wreckage, somehow (and unfortunately) still alive to suffer through every second of it—while Jay, smug as ever, whips around in his seat to face you.  
And of course, there it is: that look of his that screams 'This is going to be so much fun for me, and so much pain for you.' 
"Guess we're parents now, Y/N!" Jay chimes, his voice dripping with so much sarcastic enthusiasm you swear he just got handed an Oscar for Most Annoying Human. If that tone were a substance, you'd bottle it up and use it as insect repellent. On him. Repeatedly.  
You blink at him, you're sure—you're praying—this has to be some elaborate prank. Maybe Jay bribed Professor Kim with his rare attempt at turning in an assignment on time just to mess with you. Or maybe the universe just hates you and this is your karma for stealing your roommate's last ramen packet that one time a year ago.  
But no, Professor Kim keeps rattling off other pairs like it's business as usual, as if your entire academic career and sanity isn't currently being flushed down a metaphorical toilet, while you sit there, paralyzed, your brain rapidly melting into a useless puddle from the sheer thought of being paired with him.  
"What's wrong, Y/N?" Jay teases as he leans over the back of his chair towards you, puppy dog eyes on display. "You don't want to play house with me?"  
You narrow your eyes at him, mentally wielding your imaginary bug spray like it's a holy weapon. 
"I don’t," you reply flatly. "In fact, I’d rather perform open-heart surgery on myself with a plastic spoon than co-parent with you." 
Jay’s eyes light up as his hand goes to his heart. "Aw, you really know how to make a guy feel special. This is why I like our little relationship, you know?" 
"Relationship?" You scoff loud enough to make the people sitting three rows behind you to glance in your direction.
You bring your voice down to a whisper, leaning towards him. "The only thing we have in common is a shared oxygen supply." 
"See, that’s the spirit," he says, turning back to face the front like he didn't just ruin your life.
And somehow, that pisses you off even more. Is it his voice? His stupidly perfect hair? The fact that he has the audacity to breathe in your general direction? At this point, he could literally sneeze, and it would still feel like a personal attack.
Is it too late to switch majors? Or schools? Maybe even countries? Surely, restarting your entire college career as a super senior would be better than spending the next six weeks parenting with Jay. Jay Park, who has probably never held anything more fragile than a Red Solo Cup.  
Jay Park, who is just sitting there, all calm and collected, clearly loving every second of your misery.  
While you're frozen in pure, unadulterated horror.  
Your grade? Plummeting as we speak.  Your robot baby? Probably going to need therapy by day two. And you?  
You're screwed.
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Q1 – The Art & Science of Parenting 101 aims to apply different psychological approaches to parenting. What are your current theories and methods that you believe are important to parenting? 
Jay’s Submission [10:09AM, September 18th]: 
"I think babies need more freedom to explore and make their own choices, even if that just means grabbing random things. Bowlby's attachment theory leans towards a secure attachment, but I don't think that means hovering over them 24/7. It's about being there when they really need you, not scheduling every second of the day. I also believe letting babies learn through their own experiences is key. Strict behaviorism, such as Skinner's, sounds exhausting and I don't think a rigid system is what makes a good parent. Babies are messy, and that's okay." 
Q2 – What do you expect to learn and gain from this experience? 
Jay's Submission [10:12AM, September 18th]:  
"I'm hoping to learn how to be a responsive, yet flexible parent without overcomplicating it. The goal is to find balance between being hands-on without hovering. And, I think this whole robot baby thing will teach me how to handle unpredictable situations—because no matter how much you plan, life is going to surprise you. And also, being able to say I know how to change a diaper under 30 seconds sounds pretty cool :)" 
✭・.・✫
Jay's screwed.  
Like, completely, utterly, hopelessly screwed. 
He was already kinda skeptical he’d make it past his 40s if he kept living the way he does, but now? Now, he’s not even sure he’ll survive the next 24 hours. Why? Well, today’s the first official meeting with you—as co-parents—at the campus coffee shop at 12PM sharp. 
It's 12:17PM.  
He's late.  
Seventeen whole minutes late. To your meeting. And you're basically the human embodiment of an atomic clock. You’re probably sitting there, checking your watch every few seconds, calculating his absence down to the millisecond. Jay can practically feel the murderous vibes you’re radiating from halfway across campus.  
And while Jay sometimes finds your need for punctuality weirdly endearing (but don't tell anyone that), he also values not getting scolded on a Saturday morning (12PM is still morning to him, don't judge), especially when he could be sleeping in.   
As the café comes into view, Jay considers just throwing the towel in. Maybe he could fake a sudden illness, or better yet, skip town and maybe fake his own death or something. 
There's no point. Knowing you, you'd probably hunt him down for sport.  
With a sigh, Jay pushes open the door to the café, bracing himself for impact.  
And there you are. Exactly how he imagined.  
Seated at a small table by the window, papers perfectly aligned, laptop open, and two different colored highlighters placed meticulously side by side. Your foot taps in perfect sync with the café's background music, your eyebrows knitted together in focus, and your teeth chewing your bottom lip as if you're about to crack the Krabby Patty secret formula. The window next to you allows the afternoon sunlight to spill through and reflect off of you, making you look...dare he say it...almost pretty.
If Jay wasn't fearing for his life, he might have actually stopped to admire the view. Might have.  
When Jay finally reaches your table—17 minutes and 46 seconds late (but who's counting)—you look up, meeting his gaze with a look that's somewhere between not surprised but definitely not impressed. 
"Well, well," you say, quirking your mouth up ever so slightly that Jay thinks he might see you smile for the first time in, like, ever. "Look who finally decided to join us! Must be nice living on Jay Standard Time."  
Jay flashes his usual, unbothered smile as he pulls out the chair across from you.
"Oh, c'mon, Y/N. Seventeen minutes is nothing in the grand scheme of life."  
"Yeah? Tell that to our future robot baby when you're seventeen minutes late to feed it and its batteries die."  
"Yikes. That got dark quick," Jay's mutters, grin wavering. "But hey, glad to see you're finally accepting the fact that it's our future baby!"  
"Future robot baby," you peer your eyes at him from above your laptop. "Anyways, did you read the guidelines?"  
Jay rubs the back of his neck as he leans back into his chair. "Uh, define 'read'."  
Without missing a beat, you slap a packet of papers down on the table.
"Here's the breakdown. Feeding schedules, emotional development tracker, diaper changes, mood swings—the whole shebang. We're going to have to approach this strategically."  
"Woah, okay," Jay's eyebrows shoot up, his brain trying to catch up with the words you just spewed at him. "First, how the heck is a robot going to develop emotionally—that's a little scary if you ask me. Like, dystopian, Black Mirror, scary. And second, since when is parenting just following a spreadsheet? Isn't part of it, you know, winging it?"  
At the words 'winging it', your eye twitches so violently, Jay half-expects you to reach across the table and strangle him with his own hoodie strings. 
"Winging it?" You shut your laptop and lean forward. "Winging it is exactly how we end up with a malfunctioning robot baby that starts a fire and fails us. Parenting is all about structure, consistency—"  
"—and having a little fun," Jay cuts in, mouth quirked with mischief. "I mean, what's parenting without some chaos?"  
"Chaos," you mutter, narrowing your eyes at him, "is what you bring into my life on a daily basis."  
"Yeah, and yet you secretly love it," Jay shoots back, leaning in to meet you, as if daring you to disagree.  
You stare at him, unblinking. It's either you're plotting his slow and painful demise or seriously considering what he just said. No in-between.  
And yet, somehow, Jay almost finds it endearing how you can look like the world's most innocent golden retriever while also simultaneously sending him six feet under with just one agonizing glare. Almost.  
Finally, you sigh, "This isn't a joke, Jay. This is 40% of our grade."  
"And I'm 100% ready!" Jay shoots back with a wink, to which you respond with a full-body eye roll.  
"Oh yeah? Alright, Mr. Ready-for-Anything, what's your brilliant plan?"
"Hmm," Jay leans back in his seat, folding his arms behind his head as if he's got it all figured out (he doesn't). "Well, for one, I was thinking maybe...shifts. We split responsibilities based on our schedules. I'll take the baby on certain hours, you take it other hours, and we'll spend our free days together. And if we're not together and there's a baby crisis, we stay on call." 
In complete honesty, that came from out of nowhere. Jay didn't even know any ideas were subconsciously cooking up within him until the words tumbled out of his mouth before he realized it. But there's no way he was going to tell you that, not when you don't immediately tear his idea to shreds. In fact, you actually look...impressed? 
Or so he thinks. Jay definitely needs to get better at this whole 'reading your expressions' thing.  
"Huh," you murmur to yourself, fingers tapping against the table. "That's...not the worst idea you've ever had."  
Jay feels elated. Validation? From you? Phew, this means his life is spared. Thank god.  
Jay flashes you a satisfied smile and while you don't return it, he hopes you're secretly softening. Just a little. Behind that straight face, you're probably low-key impressed, but no way are you letting him see that.  
"Don't get too excited," you say, as if you've got some sixth sense for whenever Jay throws a mental victory parade. "This is only day one. Of, like, 42. We've got a long way to go."  
"Okay, okay," Jay raises his hands in surrender, though there's no hiding the smirk on his face as he still mentally takes the win. "Message received. Let's just figure out our schedules?"  
You nod, pushing your laptop aside to make space for a sheet of paper you've already prepared—because of course you're prepared. It's like you're about to whip up some elaborate high-stakes legal contract that probably involves blood signatures.
"Okay," you say, clicking your pen, picking a bright blue that basically stabs Jay's eyes by simply existing, but whatever makes you happy, I guess.
You write 'Jay's Schedule' at the top, neatly highlighting it with a pink highlighter that somehow hurts even more. Jay wonders if this is a secret ploy to blind him into submission. He wouldn't put it past you.  
"What's your typical weekly schedule like?"  
Jay squints, clearly thinking hard, as he tries to remember what a 'typical' week looks like for him. Mostly it's a mix of spontaneous decisions, power naps, and gym sessions sprinkled between classes.  
"Uh...well," Jay rubs the back of his neck. "I usually sleep in until like 11...sometimes noon, depends on the vibe, you know? Classes after that, gym a couple times a week, maybe? And, um, naps are non-negotiable. Make sure you pencil those in too."  
Your pen freezes mid-air, hovering like you're considering whether to throw it at his face or not.  
"Naps? Non-negotiable? For someone who wakes up at 11AM? We're raising a child, Jay, this requires commitment!"  
Jay raises a calm eyebrow. "Hey, sleep is very important for brain function! You wouldn't want me underperforming as a parent, right?"  
Your eye twitches. "No, Jay. That's already my biggest fear."  
But instead of escalating the snark, you bite your lip, clearly restraining yourself from unleashing a full lecture on time management. Jay struggles to stifle his own laugh at your reaction. If looks could kill, you'd have him buried under six feet of color-coded charts and to-do lists by now.  
Finally, you sigh, accepting your fate and jotting down ‘Jay’s naps: apparently crucial for survival’ in your notes with a frown drawn next to it, while Jay gives you an approving nod from across the table. 
"Alright, my turn," you flip the page over with dramatic flair, carefully writing 'Y/N's Schedule' in the same stab-your-eyes-blue and pink highlight combo as Jay mentally braces himself for what's to come.  
"So," you continue, starting with that no-nonsense tone that's clearly meant to be serious—but to Jay, there's something almost charming about how strict you are. "I wake up at 6."  
Jay's brain immediately short-circuits. Forget charming.
You’re downright crazy. 
"6? As in AM? On purpose?"  
You blink back at him, as if he's the one saying something ridiculous.
"Yes, Jay. On purpose."  
His mind reels, purely amazed, yet utterly horrified at the thought. 6AM? Who does that? He's seen 6AM before, sure, but only when he's stayed up all night, probably cramming for an exam. His mornings start at 10AM at best, and that's very, very rarely. There are birds chirping at 6AM. Who wants to live in a world where birds chirp you awake?  
When he doesn't respond—still in pure shock—you keep going, undeterred by his obvious existential crisis.
"I usually have class at 8AM until 1PM, then I try to pick up a shift here," you gesture around the very café you two are in, "and then—"  
"Wait, wait," Jay holds up a hand, needing a mental pause button. "You work here?"  
"Yeah," you nod, like it's the most casual thing ever. "Why, is that surprising?"  
Jay squints at you. He's never considered the idea of you pulling espresso shots and dealing with caffeine-deprived college students—he's always pegged you more as a 'quiet math tutor for third-graders' type. Or maybe someone who sells cute stationery at the campus bookstore, organizing pens in rainbow order or something. But now that he's picturing it, yeah, it kind of makes sense. Maybe that's why you're so uptight all the time—too much exposure to coffee fumes. Or, more likely (and evidently), you're just an insanely busy person.  
He likes the coffee fumes theory better.  
"I guess not," he admits, then surprises even himself by adding, "that's kind of impressive, though."  
He gives you a genuine smile, and you blink back, as if searching for the hidden jab that's usually lurking beneath his words. But it's not there this time...oddly. Slowly, your expression softens, and you give him the tiniest of smiles.
"Thanks? It's alright, I guess."  
It's nothing big—no, not at all—but Jay feels a weird sense of accomplishment at your reaction. Better than nothing. 
He leans in over the table, all faux-innocence—eyebrows raises, large puppy eyes and all.
"Does this mean you can get me a free coffee?"  
You lean in too, mirroring him, and he's not sure why his heart skips a beat at the close proximity. 
"Yeah...no. Nice try."  
Jay groans, throwing himself back in his chair dramatically. Worth a shot.  
"Anyway," you continue, totally unfazed, "I usually work here until 5, then Mondays I have a study group for Econ 301, and club meetings scattered throughout the week."  
Jay's head spins for maybe the nth time since he's sat down. Honestly, you lost him way back at 'class until 1PM.' Your schedule is like some kind of twisted Sudoku puzzle, except much more intimidating.  
"So...you're, like, busy...all the time?" he asks, the words tumbling out of his mouth as his brain tries to process how anyone can function like this.  
You give him a look that almost convinces Jay himself that he's the crazy one here.
"Yes, Jay. I am."  
"Wow, okay. So why did you even take this class? What happened to being committed? You don't even have time to breathe."  
You narrow your eyes, and he swears you're about to launch into some motivational TedTalk.
"It's called efficiency, Jay. Also, I like to challenge myself. That's what parenthood is about, after all."
Jay stares at you like you've just self-declared yourself a cyborg.
"Oookayyy," he drawls, dragging out the word because, honestly, he's 99% sure you've completely lost it. The remaining 1%?  
It's slightly impressed by your sheer, terrifying level of commitment. He's over here winging life, including this conversation, while you've practically mapped out the rest of your entire existence. 
"Do you even, like, sleep? Or is that optional for you?"  
"Sleep is for the weak," you shoot him an amused glance, half-joking, half-serious.
Jay raises an eyebrow. "Good to know I'm weak, then."  
You stifle a laugh, but Jay catches the brief twitch of your lips before you quickly compose yourself. He’s known you for so long, and yet, this might be the first time he’s seen even a hint of your guard slipping. It’s subtle, barely there, but he notices. And for some reason, it makes him smile. You’re always so put together, so serious—but this small crack in your armor? Jay can’t help but appreciate it.  
Maybe, just maybe, he could get you to soften up more if he tried hard enough.
And yeah, he’s definitely going to try. 
But before he can try to tease you more, you snap back into business mode, instantly scribbling down more notes.
"Alright, so let’s just split the baby's care based on my work schedule and your...nap schedule, apparently."  
Jay leans back in his chair, catching that flicker of amusement in your voice—despite the serious look on your face—and he fights the urge to push a little more. There's something about that side of you—not the one behind the cold wall you've built of color-coded schedules and deadlines—that he wants to see more of. Somehow.  
"Works for me,” he shrugs and grins at you, “but if the baby's anything like me, it'll nap a lot. You might have it easy."
"And if it’s anything like me,” you mutter, barely pausing, “then it’ll easily get annoyed by you.”
Jay catches the ghost of a smile on your face, barely noticeable unless you were looking for it—which he definitely is. It’s enough to keep him intrigued. He leans forward, resting his chin in his hand like he’s watching some fascinating show. 
You don’t notice him staring—or maybe you do, but you’re too busy pretending you don’t. Either way, there’s a small, almost imperceptible shift in your body language that Jay senses. Your shoulders aren’t as tense, and you don’t look like you’re mentally calculating how many minutes you have left before you can escape this meeting.
Jay decides to take advantage of the moment. “So…do you think our robot baby is also going to be a superhuman genius? Like in a you way?” 
You finally let out a laugh, to his surprise, and he feels so satisfied he has to bite his lip to hold back a smile. “Definitely, but also part crazy. Like in a you way.” 
Jay chuckles, mentally declaring this conversation a victory. Your laugh fades but for a split second, he catches you studying his face like you’re trying to figure out what his deal is. And he doesn’t mind it at all—because, for once, you’re not giving him the usual death glare that sometimes seems permanently reserved for him.
Then, just as he starts to settle into this very rare, almost… pleasant vibe between you two, you suddenly snap back to reality, capping your pen and standing up. 
Jay frowns as he watches as you turn towards the coffee bar, not ready for this conversation to end just yet.  
"Wait, where are you going?" he blurts out, sounding more tragic than intended. 
You pause, turning back with a look that sends his pulse tripping.
"Do you want a free coffee or not?"  
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The following Monday, at exactly 9:55AM, you and Jay are handed your robot baby—Jisoo, as Jay somehow convinces you to name it after his favorite celebrity—at the end of your class.  
You didn't even try to put up a fight. The moment Jay's eyes lit up at the idea, you knew you'd already lost. After three whole minutes of bickering and one PowerPoint titled 'Why Our Baby Deserves to be Named After Star Quality,' you realized there was no saving it. He had arguments. He had fan chants memorized. For a robot baby. Your robot baby. 
"Admit it, Jisoo has star quality," Jay beams, proudly looking down at the robotic baby in the baby carrier that came with her.  
You look from Jisoo to Jay, then back to Jisoo, unimpressed. "It's a robot, Jay. Not your bias."  
"Bias or not, she deserves only the best," Jay just shrugs, unbothered.
He glances down at the robot, which blinks its eyes open and closed with a soft whirring noise, its chubby plastic arms flopping lifelessly by its sides.  
There's a beat of silence as you both stare down at it, unsure of what to do next.  
"It's kind of creepy, right?" you finally mutter, breaking the knowing silence between you two.  
Jay snorts. "Not even 'kind of.' A lot."
He leans in to inspect it, his brows furrowed, "So, does it just…sit there?”  
"No, it's on schedule. It says here it won't eat for another three hours and it has a clean diaper, so everything should be fine. Babies are predictable once you understand their needs, Jay," you huff, already pulling out the meticulously detailed notes you took during class.
Jay lifts an eyebrow as he turns to face you, "Right...because in real life, babies are totally like robots and are totally predictable. Got it."  
You open your mouth to respond, probably with something unnecessarily snarky (you don't know what yet though, you haven't gotten to that part yet), when a loud, high-pitched wail shatters the air, cutting through the now-empty classroom you two are in. The robot baby's face contorts into an exaggerated crying expression, its mechanical arms flailing (which you didn't even know was possible) like it's preparing for takeoff. 
"What the—" Jay instinctively jumps back like Jisoo is a grenade on her last few seconds.
"Why's it doing that? What did you do?"  
"I didn’t do anything!" You snap, panic slowly rising as you flip through your notes quickly. "It's not supposed to be crying! It shouldn't be hungry, and it's definitely not tired yet!"  
The wailing intensifies, vibrating through the room as the cries echo louder and louder, Jisoo clearly not caring about your carefully crafted timeline. You glance down at your schedule. Why is it crying?  
You groan and snatch Jisoo out of the carrier, awkwardly holding her in a way that's probably not safe for any life form, real or otherwise. The wailing doesn't stop. In fact, it gets louder, as if Jisoo's personally offended by your existence.  
"Hold her!" You quickly thrust her into Jay's arms, a horrified expression written all over his face. "You deal with it."  
"Deal with what? It's a robot!" Jay stares at the baby in his arms like it's going to explode. "Oh god, are we even sure this is safe?"  
"Yes, Jay! It's a baby!"
You're sure you're borderline going insane from the combination of the screeching baby and Jay's apparent lack of brain cells.  
Jay's eyes widen as Jisoo practically vibrates with the force of its cries. He tries to mimic the way you were holding her, cradling her against his chest like she's made of glass. It doesn't help. Jisoo keeps wailing, and now Jay looks genuinely distressed. 
"Uh, shh, little buddy, it's okay...Should I, like, burp it? Sing to it?"  
“Sing?” You give him a look like he’s completely lost it, but Jay’s already humming off-key under his breath. 
The baby, predictably, continues screeching. 
You both just stand there, staring at the baby, then at each other, the panic palpable in the room. Jay continues bouncing it lightly, as if this will magically solve everything.
“Does it have an off switch?” he asks, glancing at you like you've parented a robot baby before. 
You continue to frantically flip through your notes, pages rustling in a blur. “No, Jay! We can’t just turn off our baby!” 
“Well, I don’t know, Y/N, but I’m pretty sure babies aren’t supposed to sound like they’re summoning a demon!” Jay retorts, his tone climbing the ladder of panic. "Maybe she's hungry or something."  
“It can’t be hungry, it's not supposed to be!" You’re still too busy scanning your notes as you shake your head in disagreement.
Jay just shakes his head, gently cradling the baby even though he's sure it's about to lift off into space from how much it was shaking right now. 
“Sometimes you can’t schedule everything, Y/N. Maybe it just needs a bottle, like, right now.” 
The idea frustrates you. “But it’s not time yet. If we feed it off-schedule, it’ll mess everything up for the day.” 
The baby’s cries reach a shrill pitch, like it’s protesting your protest. Jay looks at you, then back at the crying baby, then back at you again. 
“I think it’s already messed up, so maybe we just... feed it?” he says, half-grinning, half-exasperated. 
You hesitate. It feels wrong. Babies are supposed to follow patterns, stick to a routine...or so you thought. You let out a frustrated sigh, your brain bleeding from the sheer sound of the glass-breaking screams.  
“Fine,” you mutter, grabbing the bottle from the supply bag. “But if this throws off the whole schedule, it’s your fault.” 
Jay grins, but there’s something softer in his expression behind it as he watches you struggle with the bottle...and your need for control.
“Deal.” 
You hand the bottle to him, and he places the nipple into the baby’s mouth. The wailing stops almost instantly. The sudden silence is deafening, and both of you are stunned for a moment, looking down at the baby who’s now peacefully drinking. 
You let out a small gasp of relief and turn your head up to look at Jay, who's widened eyes meet yours.  
Jay lets out a held breath. “Well. That was traumatic.” 
You roll your eyes, though there’s a slight twitch at the corner of your lips as you mutter, “I think I just lost three years of my life."  
Jay watches as you carefully take Jisoo from his arms and place her back into the carrier, making sure everything is in order. He’s still catching his breath, but he glances at you—relaxed, for once, after the panic—and it makes him feel something weird. He almost laughs. 
“I dunno,” he says, a little teasingly. “I think we handled that pretty well.” 
“Great, now just five weeks and six days of this left." You give him a look, but there’s a tiny, fleeting smile this time. "I just don't understand why it was crying. It's not supposed to need food until—"  
Jay cuts you off with a chuckle. “Y/N, it’s a baby. Real ones don’t run on algorithms. They just... cry when they need something. Like this little gal. I mean, you can't exactly schedule crying, right?” 
The silence stretches for a moment as you watch him, realization dawning a little slower than you’d like to admit. “I guess,” you mutter reluctantly, earning yourself a content-looking Jay.  
"Look at us—team effort," Jay says, as he beams a smile to you before glancing at Jisoo. "We're naturals at this whole parenting thing."  
"Yeah, okay," you roll your eyes, but the smile on your face says differently as you reach out to unnecessarily fuss with the small blanket in Jisoo's carrier.  
Jay's eyes light up at your response.
"A smile? The Y/N gave me a smile? Admit it, we make a great team, huh?"  
You scoff, but the look on your face proves there's no bite to it—Jay knows there's no bite to it.  
Maybe, just maybe, he has a point.  
You'd never admit it to him, though. 
Not yet.  
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To your pleasant surprise, the past two weeks have been...weirdly smooth. Like, suspiciously smooth. You and Jay have somehow managed to fall into an actual routine—dropping off and picking up Jisoo like two semi-functional adults who almost know what they’re doing. You still wouldn’t call it 'seamless', as Jay himself struggled with having a consistent schedule for once in his life, but at least you’ve gotten through the weeks without major incidents or spontaneous combustion. So far.
That doesn't mean you'll admit to anyone—least of all yourself—that you and Jay might actually make a decent team. His parenting methods are still objectively abysmal...to you, at least. I mean, just the other day, he almost put Jisoo's diaper on upside down. Upside down. You didn't even know that was possible, but leave it to Jay to surprise you more and more.  
Despite his questionable approach to baby care, Jisoo's still alive (you think), and somehow you've managed not to explode at him yet (key word: yet). So, that's...something, I guess.  
Today, though. Today is a different beast entirely.  
It's Sunday, and miraculously, you've managed to give yourself the evening off. No café shift, no emergency club meetings. The stars have aligned, and for once, you have free time. And what did you decide to do with this rare gift from the universe?  
Spend it with Jay. Parenting. Together. In his apartment.  
You blame Professor Kim for this cruel twist of fate. Something about submitting photographic evidence of co-parenting. After all, this is a partner project.  
Teamwork, she called it.  
You like to call it pure suffering.  
Which brings you here, standing outside Jay's apartment with a tote bag of baby supplies on one shoulder, Jisoo's carrier on the other, and a silent prayer on your lips. If this apartment is even half the disaster you're imagining—frat house, landfill, or some unholy combination of both—you're fully prepared to turn around and run for the hills.  
You take a deep breath, bracing yourself for whatever horrors await behind the door, and knock three times.  
Precisely five seconds later, the door swings open, and...yep, there's Jay. His hair is a mess, his clothes are rumpled, and you can't tell if he's been a) napping, b) playing video games, or c) all of the above.  
"Hey," he greets you with a lazy grin, eyes half-lidded like he's still half-asleep.  
It's 6PM.  
You stare at him, deadpan.
"You look like you've been hit by a truck."  
Jay snorts as he raises an eyebrow.
"You should see the truck."  
Before you can fire back with something equally sarcastic, you catch a glimpse of his apartment over his shoulder, and—you blink, confused. Wait. Wait.  
Well this can't be right.  
You were expecting a disaster. Maybe a few pizza boxes, a stray sock on the floor, some suspicious stains on the couch. But no.
Instead...it's clean. Like, really clean.  
The floors are spotless, there's a shelf with neatly stacked books, and are those...framed photos on the walls? Like, actual art? Your own apartment doesn't even have actual art, just print outs from Walgreens of photos you thought were cute on Pinterest and your Justin Bieber posters you got from a magazine back in high-school. Now you're starting to feel ashamed.  
You do a double-take, your brain struggling to process what's happening, as Jay still stands in front of you, confused at your gawking.
"Y/N? You good?"  
You snap your mouth shut, as you spot a vacuum neatly tucked in the corner of the living room.
"I...I'm just surprised you even know what a vacuum is." 
"You'll learn I'm full of surprises, Miss Y/N," he says, casually leaning against the doorframe as he looks down at you, his gaze making you shift in your stance in front of him. "Come on in."  
You step inside cautiously, like you're waiting for something to jump out at you—maybe a camera with someone saying 'You've been pranked, this isn't Jay's actual apartment!'  
But nope. His apartment is just...nice. It smells like eucalyptus and citrus, for crying out loud.  
You set Jisoo's carrier down on the couch, the robot itself still fast asleep, as your eyes scan the room, still half-expecting to find a hidden mess somewhere. But instead, something else catches your attention.  
On the wall, next to his kitchen, there's a collection of professional-looking photographs, all framed neatly. This is what caught your eye earlier from the doorway. You find yourself slowly walking closer to get a closer look: landscapes, city stresses, a few candid shots of people—all in the same style, same camera quality, same angles. You tilt your head, intrigued.
Jay comes up behind you to see what you're looking at and you turn to him, "Are these...yours?" 
"Oh," he scratches the back of his neck, looking almost shy. "Yeah. I do some photography sometimes. Just a hobby."  
You blink up at him. Jay Park? A photographer? This was not on your Jay Park Bingo card. 
"Huh," you say, before realizing how dumb you sound. "I didn't know you were into that."  
"Well, there's a lot you don't know about me, Y/N. Full of surprises, remember?" Jay replies, his head tilting to match yours with a cocky smile, which—ugh, okay fine—makes you feel just the tiniest bit flustered. Not that you'll admit it.  
"Oh, really?" You raise an eyebrow. "And here I thought your only hobbies were napping and showing up late." 
"That's just the surface level," he says with a wink, walking over to his coffee table and grabbing his laptop. "I was actually editing photos before you showed up." 
Intrigued, you follow him to the couch and sit beside him as he flips open the laptop. You squint at the editing software on the screen—full of layers, sliders, and all sorts of professional-looking tools that immediately make your head hurt. Jay scrolls through the images, and honestly?
They’re good. Really good. Like, if you didn’t know better, you’d think some of them could be in a magazine. And not the kind of magazine you got your Bieber Fever posters in.  
"Wow," you say, nodding, genuinely impressed. "That’s… actually really cool." 
Jay freezes, his head snapping toward you with a look of disbelief. He stares at you, eyes narrowing like you’ve just broken some unspoken rule.
"It's been ten seconds...you just gave me an actual compliment without a sarcastic follow-up."  
You let out a small giggle, "Geez, you always make me sound like some soulless witch or something."  
"I mean… soulless witch might be a bit much. But, like… emotionally unavailable overlord? Hmm, maybe," Jay grins, leaning back in mock thought.
You burst out laughing before you can stop yourself, the sound catching Jay off guard. He looks at you, wide-eyed, like he’s just witnessed a rare phenomenon. And maybe he has—because even you can’t remember the last time you laughed this freely.
"Wow. I should annoy you more often," Jay smirks, clearly way too satisfied with himself. You’re not entirely sure if he meant it to sound that smooth, but your brain certainly processed it that way. Heat rises to your cheeks before you can stop it, and you quickly clear your throat, a small, flustered smile playing at your lips. 
You try to gather yourself, praying your voice doesn’t betray you.
"Don’t push your luck, Park," you manage, but the teasing edge in your voice is softer than usual—way softer. And, of course, Jay knows it. You know it. You’re still smiling, and—unfortunately for you—so is he. 
Jay suddenly clears his throat as he shifts in his seat, "So...should we order like a pizza or something? Are you hungry?"  
And because lately the universe apparently has a personal vendetta against you, your stomach chooses that exact moment to let out a sound—one that resembles between a whale’s mating call and a frog being strangled. 
Jay stifles a laugh, trying to act casual but failing miserably, "Okay… pizza it is." 
“Shut up,” you mutter, giving him a playful shove that’s just enough to make him fall back into the couch cushions. 
"No, you tell your stomach to shut up," Jay snickers, grabbing his phone to place the order. 
You’re about to fire back with something—anything—but a soft wail interrupts you from the baby carrier. 
"Someone needs attention," you say, scooping Jisoo up and cradling her in your arms. “It’s about time for her to eat anyway.” 
As you juggle Jisoo with one hand and dig through the baby bag for her fake bottle of milk with the other, Jay watches you from his spot on the couch, a curious look in his eyes.
“While you feed her, I’ll take care of the pizza. I’m guessing you’re more of a plain cheese type, huh?” 
You freeze for a second, then whip your head around to give him a mock-offended look.
“First, you think I’m a soulless witch, and now boring? I at least add pepperoni and sausage. Give me some credit.” 
"Okay, okay, noted," Jay lifts his hands up in surrender, "So adventurous. I'll remember that next time you call me irresponsible."  
You roll your eyes at him as you adjust Jisoo in your arms, holding the bottle steady at her mouth. It’s quiet for a few moments, the only sounds being the soft hum of your fake baby and Jay tapping on his phone. 
Suddenly Jay puts his phone down, turning to you with an unreadable expression. “You’re really serious about this whole parenting thing, huh?” 
You blink, still rocking Jisoo in your arms.  You're thrown off by the sudden shift and sincerity in his tone.  
“Well… yeah. I think it’s important, you know? Responsibility, structure… that’s what makes people feel safe. Especially kids. They need to know they’re taken care of.” 
Jay’s expression shifts as he listens, a more thoughtful look settling on his face.
“You're a strong believer of that, aren't you? Structure and schedules and all that?"  
His voice is a lot quieter now, lower, and you realize you've never really had a serious conversation (that wasn't a class debate) with him before—at least not long enough to hear this version of Jay. The serious Jay. And if you're being honest, it's making you a bit flustered. You hesitate, hoping your voice doesn't crack or something equally embarrassing.  
“I mean… I guess so. I was raised that way. My parents always had everything planned out. It was like...nothing ever went wrong because there was always a system, a backup plan.” 
Jay raises an eyebrow, leaning forward a little in his seat.
“But didn’t that feel, I don’t know... suffocating? Like, what if things don’t go according to plan? You can’t control everything.” 
Your first instinct is to scoff, but something stops you. It's a valid question, and for some reason, you don’t feel the need to throw up your usual defenses for once. That's new.  
“Maybe sometimes,” you admit. “But I don’t know any other way. It just feels like if you’re not prepared, things fall apart. And that’s the worst feeling—like watching everything crumble because you weren’t ready for it.” 
Jay is quiet, studying you with an intensity that feels new. His teasing smirk is gone, replaced with something more serious.
“Yeah, I get that. I didn’t have a lot of structure growing up. Parents were kinda… there, but not really. I think that’s why I don’t plan much. Life happens whether you’re ready or not.” 
You blink as you sit back in your seat, absorbing his words. It’s the first time you’ve really thought about Jay outside of his 'laid-back' image of him you've had in your head, and honestly, you’re surprised by how heavy his words feel. 
“But…you’re actually good with Jisoo,” you say, almost cautiously, unsure if you’re diving into uncharted territory. “You’ve been handling this project better than I thought you would.” 
Jay laughs softly, shaking his head as he looks at Jisoo in your arms.
“It’s just a robot baby, Y/N. No big deal if I mess up.” 
"It’s not just about the robot baby,” you counter, realizing you're saying more than you intended. “You actually care. You’re not graded on how well you change diapers or keep her entertained, but you’re still putting in effort. You’re trying. And that matters.” 
There's a beat of silence as you see Jay pause. For once, he doesn't have a comeback. Instead, he's just looking at you—really looking at you—like he's trying to figure something out, and you feel the heat slowly creeping back onto your face. You're sure you're turning an unflattering shade of red under his gaze on you, and part of you, no, all of you, is begging for him to say something immediately before you combust.  
Then, with a suddenness that almost makes you jump, he leans over and nudges your arm lightly.
“Okay, Dr. Phil. Don't go getting all soft on me now."  
You let out a playful scoff to mask your relief, thankful for the release of tension in the air. But something about the conversation lingers in the air, hanging like a question neither of you is ready to ask. And despite the teasing, your mind can’t help but circle back to how Jay had looked at you—serious, curious… something else. 
Before you can dwell on it too long, the doorbell rings. Saved by the pizza gods. Jay springs up from the couch to answer the door, and you gently place the now-snoozing Jisoo back in her carrier. The conversation still swirls in your head as you watch Jay grab the pizza, too caught up in your thoughts to not even question how suspiciously fast it arrived. 
You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, watching Jay at the door from your spot on the couch, your thoughts too heavy for someone who is literally holding a pizza box. 
For someone who sure likes to plan everything out, you definitely weren’t prepared for Jay Park—and how he's quickly becoming the exception to every rule you've ever made. 
✭・.・✫
The first thing that jars you awake is a piercing scream—Jisoo's, of course. Your eyes shoot open as you squint into the dim light, your eyes adjusting and blinking your way out of the accidental nap you fell into. You're trying to make sense of your surroundings through your blurry vision when...it hits you.  
This isn't your room. You're still at Jay's apartment, wedged into the corner of his couch, and apparently, you fell asleep. Post-pizza-food-coma style. And also apparently, your mutual robot child has decided now was a perfect time for a meltdown.  
The second thing you notice is the faint background noise of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire still playing on Jay's TV in front of you. Your memory jogs back to when you two finally came to a consensus on which movie to watch over dinner, and naturally, the deciding factor ended up being 'young Robert Pattinson,' and no, it wasn't your deciding factor. You didn't expect Jay to even have an opinion on this, but apparently, his love for Cedric Diggory is a hill he's willing to die on.  
And then...that brings us to the third thing. A sound from the other end of the couch—Jay's soft snores. You two must have dozed off at some point during the movie somehow and of course, he's still passed out cold, totally oblivious to the screams of robotic despair coming from the baby carrier seated between you two. You glance over at him, out cold with his head tilted back, looking completely unbothered by Jisoo's increasingly offended screams.  
But even through all these realizations, what really slaps you awake, more than Jisoo or Jay or Cedric Diggory, is the smell. It hits you like a rogue sock to the face, and for a moment, you're convinced that Jay definitely has some biological-grade garbage decomposing somewhere in the apartment after all. The smell is like a powerful, radioactive wave, and all you can think is, What in the world is this guy hiding in here? And why is it now coming to life?  
You sit up from your spot, still half-asleep, and follow the foul scent in horror until you realize the source.  
Jisoo.  
Sure, you have changed Jisoo's diapers plenty of times over the last two weeks, but before? There was no smell. At most, you get these weird, vaguely sticky robotic poops in her diaper that barely registered. Now? Now it’s like Professor Kim somehow remotely gave Jisoo a software update and coded her to emit a scent so pungent that it feels borderline illegal. You're convinced this is Jisoo’s final boss form—peak realism unlocked—solely just to spite you and your nostrils.
While you’re here on one end of the couch, one button away from confirming an Amazon Prime order to ship over a bottle of bleach for you to dip your nose into, Jay is still in blissful dreamland, not even flinching. You stare at him in disbelief, hoping your sheer mental outage might magically wake him up. No such luck. 
You grab the throw pillow that's wedged under you and chuck in right at his face.  
"Jay!" You're still half-asleep, so your voice comes out like a strangled whisper, somewhere between pleading and passive-aggressive murder.  
Jay jolts, sitting up with a sleepy yelp, blinking in confusion.
"Huh? What happened? Is Cedric okay?" His panicked gaze darts around the room wildly before they finally settle on you, across the couch. 
"What happened?" You raise a finger to the screaming, stinky, betrayal-machine between you two. "That happened, Jay. Jisoo happened."  
Jay blinks slowly, squinting at Jisoo, his brain clearly struggling to boot up, and then makes the fatal mistake of sniffing the air. The realization suddenly dawns slowly, and you can see the look of horror hit.
"Oh my god, how is she even capable of...of that?!" His voice breaks three octaves as his hand shoots up to pinch his nose.  
"I don't know!" You squawk, equally traumatized. "She's never done this before—I didn't even know she could!"  
Jay groans and rubs his eyes, hoping this is all a bad, bad dream. No such luck, yet again. He glances around helplessly. "So, uh, who's changing her?"  
You shoot him a glare as you get up from the couch and start looking for the baby bag.
"We're changing her, Jay."  
"We?" Jay winces, inching towards Jisoo with all the enthusiasm one has when approaching a radioactive waste barrel. He slowly reaches down to take Jisoo out from the carrier and he starts muttering to himself.
"Great. Fine, this is fine. Just another bonding moment with our adorable robo-daughter." He finally picks her up, reluctantly holding her at arm's length like she's a ticking time bomb. It's so ridiculous that, despite the war-crime-level smell permeating the room, you can't help the small laugh that you let out.  
"What?" Jay glares at you, though a look of amusement tugs at his lips. "You think this is funny?"  
"No," you say, barely stifling your giggles. "It's just—you're holding her like she's about to explode."  
Jay gives you a doubtful look, "Y/N, I'm not convinced she's not about to explode."  
You shake your head, still giggling as you shuffle the carrier off the couch and lay out a blanket, turning Jay's couch surface into a makeshift changing station.
"Alright, c'mon. Lay her down and hold her legs up. I'll handle clean-up duty. And maybe...brace yourself."  
Jay exhales like a man about to face his greatest fear. He gently lays Jisoo down and lifts her legs up with the tips of his fingers, his face still contorted as if you're both dealing with a toxic hazard. At this point, it probably is.  
"Oh my god," he breathes. "This is it. This is how I die."  
You crouch down in position so you're at level with the couch and say a mental prayer before you pull open the tiny diaper. The moment you do, the both of you immediately recoil as a scent that should not even be allowed to exist wafts up and fills the room.  
“Oh god.” 
The scent is so ungodly it feels like it came from the depths of hell itself and punched you both right in the face. It doesn’t just waft up—it attacks. You’re pretty sure you lost at least another three years off your life from one breath alone. 
"That's not legal," Jay chokes as he flings himself back at the sight, dropping Jisoo’s little toes in the process, flailing around as if the air itself betrayed him. "There's no way that's legal." 
You freeze in sheer horror, staring at the scene before you: Jisoo’s somehow realistic poop smeared across every surface of her bottom it possibly could spread to, the stench intensifying with every passing second.
Jay starts pacing the room, spiraling into an existential crisis.
“No, no, no, this isn’t normal. This is—this is a crime scene! This can’t be right.” 
“Jay,” your voice is muffled as a hand tries to cover both your nose and mouth from the contaminated air, “Jay, focus!” 
Jay looks at you from across the living room, wide-eyed and pale, like a deer caught in headlights.
“You expect me to—in this economy—” 
“Grab. The. Wipes.”
Jay groans and he stumbles back towards you, hesitantly rifling through the baby bag. His hands finally find the pack of wipes and he peers over your shoulder from behind you, as if you’re his shield. 
“Are you just gonna stand there, or are you going to help?”
“I am helping,” Jay protests weakly, waving the pack of wipes like they’re a magic wand that might save you both.
You roll your eyes and turn back to Jisoo, “Okay, grab her legs again. I’ll wipe.” 
His eyes watch in horror as he reaches over you to take hold of the robot’s feet. With a deep breath, you start furiously scrubbing Jisoo’s little body, trying your best to breathe as minimally as possible, sticking your hand out towards Jay whenever you need a new wipe. 
“I signed up for fake parenting, not surviving a biohazard. This isn’t bonding; this is trauma,” Jay incoherently mumbles, placing a wipe in your hand. 
"I think this trauma is exactly what we're supposed to be learning and 'bonding' from," you retort, carefully tossing a soiled wipe into the designated waste bag.  
"Oh, so Professor Kim is forcing us to bond over mutual suffering? Very sweet," Jay deadpans as he hands you another wipe. 
"Exactly. Parenting at its finest."  
Finally, after you definitely lost three years of your life, the horror show is over. Jisoo is cleaned, diapered, and—somehow—actually looks peaceful for once. Like she didn't just commit a crime against humanity. 
Jay exhales, looking at her with a newfound joy. "Well. She's definitely...less terrifying when she's not screaming and emitting toxic fumes."  
You plop yourself on the couch and cradle Jisoo like she's a tiny, innocent angel instead of the cause of your collective suffering.
“I’m genuinely afraid to know what they put in her system for this to happen.” 
Jay collapses onto the couch beside you, visibly relieved, "Whatever it was, we did it. We survived. We did that." 
You can't help but laugh, still a bit punch-drunk from the adrenaline and exhaustion of it all, "We better get an A+ on this project."  
Jay chuckles, leaning his head back against the couch. The room falls into a brief silence, just the two of you sitting there, basking in the weird accomplishment of it all. Then, as if on cue, you both start laughing—a deep, exhausting kind of laugh that two people only share after a 'you had to be there' type moment. There's something about the whole ordeal—how ridiculous, how hilariously awful it was—that just makes it impossible to not laugh.  
"Now do you think we make a pretty good team?" Jay grins, nudging your shoulder with his.   
You roll your eyes at him, "I don't know...depends."  
Jay raises an eyebrow, "Depends on what?"  
"Depends on whether you can make it through the rest of the project without crying again," you quip, lips twitching into an amused grin.  
Jay gasps dramatically, clutching his chest. "Excuse you, I did not cry. My eyes were sweating from Jisoo's toxic fumes. A completely normal biological response, thank you very much."  
"Sure, Jay," you deadpan, shaking your head.  
"Besides," he continues, leaning back smugly, "I did all the heavy lifting. Literally. I held the live grenade."  
You snort, glancing down at Jisoo in your arms before handing her off to Jay, "You're unbelievable."  
"And you're stuck with me, partner," he grins back, rocking Jisoo in his arms. "You too, Jisoo." 
You lean back into the couch, watching Jay coo at the now-peaceful baby. Somewhere between his flair for over-the-top dramatics, his secret love for young Robert Pattinson, and (for some reason) endearing passion for photography, you realize…maybe Jay Park isn’t the complete disaster you thought he was. 
"Yeah," you murmur, a small smile tugging at your lips. "I guess I really am stuck with you."  
And for the first time since this ridiculous project started, you don't mind that as much as you thought you would.  
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Jay would like to make a few things clear. 
First of all, none of this is his fault. 
He hopes you understand that, as his thumbs fly over the keyboard of his phone like his life depends on it.
Because, in a way, it does. 
Jay [11:32 AM]: “i swear it’s not my fault, but my friend, jake, his entire load of laundry is now the color of strawberry milk. and apparently i’m the only one that can help him. can i drop jisoo off with you for like… an hour? tops?” 
He stares at his phone, waiting for your response like you hold the key to his survival.
Because, in a way, you do. 
He hears Jisoo coo from her carrier, like even she knows how dire this situation is. Finally, his phone lights up with a buzz. 
Y/N [11:33 AM]: “i’m volunteering at a dog adoption event on campus, but sure, drop her off here :)” 
Jay blinks at his phone. A dog adoption event. Of course, you'd be saving puppies on a Saturday. Of course. Like some kind of unreasonably perfect human. And here he is, about to save a fully grown man from having to wear solely pink t-shirts for the next week.
Fantastic.   
With a sigh, Jay turns to Jisoo, who blinks back a stare that can only be described as the (robot) baby equivalent of good luck, bro. 
By the time Jay reaches campus, he's bombarded with the sight and sound of...dogs. Dogs everywhere. It's as if he's entered the chaotic lovechild of a Disney movie and a petting zoo, complete with wags, barks, and the smell of kibble. And then he sees you. 
You're smack in the middle of a fenced playpen, laughing, surrounded by every breed of fluffy chaos imaginable and passersby cooing 'aww' at the sight. And what a sight it is.  
You look ridiculously happy, and for some reason, that makes something in Jay's chest feel weirdly tight. He wonders what it must feel like to be able to make you smile that widely, that brightly. It's unnerving. He's not used to seeing you so relaxed, so content—or maybe he's just not used to noticing how good you look when you're not glaring at him.  
"Y/N!" a voice calls from the volunteer tent, snapping Jay out of his daydream. Jay watches from the distance as you haul a golden retriever pup into your arms and walk over to the tent, naturally falling into conversation with your friend and immediately organizing papers. Meanwhile, Jay stands there, dumbfounded at your unbothered, graceful rhythm that you seem to fall into like second nature. 
Jay thought he had you figured out, filed neatly in his mental drawer of uptight-control-freaks-that-happen-to-smell-like-roses-and-have-perfect-smiles, but now? Something about the way you look—so confident, so caring, so...natural—catches him off guard.
Now, you're like some serene multitasking goddess in the middle of pure chaos.  
That brings us to the second thing Jay would like to clarify (more so to himself): he definitely doesn't think you look good in, like, an attractive sense, or anything insane like that. Absolutely not. He just is simply impressed at how you seem to manage and carry yourself quite elegantly. This is pure admiration. Admiration, okay?  
But...while he's here, staring in 'admiration', it suddenly hits him—you're not just good at taking care of Jisoo. You're good at taking care of everything.  
And that makes his heart do a weird flip.  
The realization that he's been staring for way too long jolts him back to the present. Focus, Jay. There's a Jake somewhere out there, lost in a sea of pink underwear.  
Jisoo carrier in hand, Jay manages to push his way through the dog-packed crowds until he reaches you, but the second you turn around, flashing him that wide, carefree smile that he's still not used to, he's back to stumbling over himself.  
He’s 99% sure he audibly gulps. 
“Oh, Jay, you made it!” you say, shifting the puppy to one side of your arms to free a hand to grab Jisoo's carrier immediately. Your smile is disarmingly genuine. Jay thinks he may need to sit down.  
“Uh, yeah—um, thanks for taking Jisoo," he swallows, his voice barely steady as he's unsure what this feeling is that came over him. He doesn't know if it's the fact that he's seeing you in a completely different light right now, carrying both a live, adorable puppy, and a (not-so-live) baby, but something is different, and he's at a loss for words. "You look pretty—uh…busy.”  
He curses himself. Busy? Really? 
“Oh, no biggie,” you give him an easy, encouraging grin, one so casual that it really shouldn't make his knees feel like Jell-O. "Honestly, I'd be out here every weekend if I could. But you of all people know my schedule."  
Of course, you'd say something like that. Jay tries to think of a normal response, but his brain is spinning with all sorts of not-normal things about you—like how you look so aggressively pretty right now. 
And it’s a little infuriating. 
"Yeah, no, totally," Jay clears his throat, scratching the back of his head. "Because who doesn't want to be covered in dog hair and slobber for fun?"  
You roll your eyes, smiling. "Says the guy who's about to be knee-deep in a laundry crisis. Isn't that a little messy, too?"  
Jay huffs, feeling himself return just a little bit back to normal. “Listen, Jake’s a special case, okay? You can’t just leave him in that pink laundry disaster and expect him to survive.” 
"Right..," you laugh, rocking back and forth on your feet, your smile lingering as a comfortable silence falls between you.  
Maybe it's the way you're looking up at him, or the fact that a literal golden retriever is currently nuzzling into your neck, but Jay is doing everything in his power to keep his cool. You're looking at him in a way that isn't remotely judgmental (for once), and it's throwing him completely off-balance.  
Before Jay can pull it together and say something else, another voice calls your name, waving you over to a different table. You turn back to Jay, giving him an apologetic glance.  
"Do you mind watching Jisoo—and, um, this puppy—for a sec?"  
Before he can answer, or even process your words, he's standing there with an actual puppy in one arm, and Jisoo in her carrier in the other, and his life has become a circus he never auditioned for.  
"Sorry! They just need me real quick!" You say with a grateful smile as you hurry off.  
As you rush off with another apologetic smile, Jay's brain, for better or for worse, decides that grin of yours is now his mental screensaver. He watches you go, dumbly smiling before he catches himself. 
Not attraction, he reminds himself. Totally not attraction.  
He looks down at his arms—one occupied by a carrier with a robot baby, the other holding a wriggly puppy.  
"Bet no one's ever been in this situation before," he mutters, awkwardly standing there as he waits for your return. Honestly, Jay has never felt so awkward or nervous before. Right now, he feels like the epitome of the standing emoji, just simply existing and there, waiting for your next command and hoping he doesn't screw it up.  
Jay tries to hype himself up. You can do this, Park. It's just a dog. And a baby. And you. You've got this. You totally have everything und— 
Before he can finish his mental pep talk, the sound of your laughter rings from across the event, making Jay's head snap over in record time. He tries not to look—he really does—but the sound is too angelic to not. But right when he does look over, he immediately wishes he didn't. 
You're standing there between two of your friends, and you're giggling. With some guy he's never seen before. And this guy, is nudging your shoulder and making you laugh so hard you're practically doubling over. He feels a distinct twist in his chest. 
Jay’s definitely not jealous. Nope. Not even a little. It's just...curiosity. Pure, innocent curiosity about what that guy could possibly be saying to make you laugh so hard. Because Jay has never seen you laugh like that with him—ever.
And suddenly, the longer you continue laughing with that guy, Jay feels something hot and uncomfortable bubbling up inside.  
Fine, it’s jealousy.  
Definitely jealousy.
He scowls at himself. Now he’s basically a bitter standing emoji, clinging to Jisoo and a puppy while glaring from afar. 
And there Jay stands, bitterness levels maxed, holding both a puppy and a robot baby, while across the way, your roommate Esther gives you a knowing smirk while you're recovering from your giggling fit. Your giggling fit which was caused by Heeseung making a comment about how he stepped in dog poop more times than the average human-being accidentally should.  
“You didn’t tell me that was Jay Park,” Esther says, trying not-so-subtly to sneak a glance at the bitter standing emoji himself, awkwardly shifting his feet in the distance, avoiding to look in your direction. “You said he was annoying, lazy, and a pain to be around. You didn’t mention he’s a total cutie.” 
“He was annoying, lazy, and a pain to be around,” you scoff, though you're clearly not thinking that right now as you catch a glance of him trying to balance both the puppy and Jisoo. "But...I don't think he's so bad anymore."  
You definitely don't add that he's a total cutie. Okay, maybe you think it, but saying it out loud is a whole other thing.  
“Oh, so you totally like him,” Heeseung snickers from your other side, nudging you again.  
You make a sound that's half out-of-tune trumpet, half hiccup, before breaking into a laugh to cover your sudden panic.
"No, I don't!" You clear your throat, trying to stay cool.  "We're just—look, we're just stuck together for this project. That's all. Even if I did like him, which I don't, he definitely doesn't like me back. We're probably just going to go back to bickering with each other to no end."  
“Right,” Heeseung chimes in, giving you a look that says he's clearly unconvinced. “Just saying, though—someone who doesn’t like you wouldn’t be staring at you like that, and looking at me like I just committed a first-degree crime just for breathing in your direction."  
You follow Heeseung’s gaze and, sure enough, you catch Jay trying to look casual while bouncing the puppy and acting like he totally didn’t just get caught. Your eyes meet, and he does a 180 so fast he nearly launches Jisoo into orbit. 
You quickly turn back to your friends, heat rising to your face as you catch Esther and Heeseung giving each other a knowing look before smirking at you. You roll your eyes and grab the both of them by the back of their shirts, turning them in the direction of the event, "Okay, okay, enough with the delusions. Shouldn't you guys be signing off some puppies or something?"  
"Don't say we didn't tell you so!" Esther calls after you as you turn on your heels towards Jay, furiously convincing yourself that they're so wrong.  
There's no universe in which Jay Park, the Jay Park, would ever be into you. The Jay Park, who can get any girl he wants, the Jay Park who's just too different from you, the Jay Park who you proclaimed your school rival (self-proclaimed). Absolutely not.  
When you get back to him, Jay’s desperately trying to look natural—so, naturally, he’s scratching the puppy’s belly while Jisoo clings to his chest like a tiny koala. Your heart gives a little traitorous squeeze, but you ignore it. Get a hold of yourself, Y/N.  
“Looks like he likes you,” you say, trying to sound casual as you nod to the puppy, who's squirming excitedly under Jay's attention. 
“He’s adorable,” Jay replies, blushing faintly as he shifts the puppy around.
“So, uh, everything okay over there?” he asks, totally not imagining a deep, romantic conversation to explain your laughter. 
You’re caught off-guard, blinking, wondering if Jay somehow became psychic and caught onto your previous train of thoughts about him, until you realize what he meant.
“Oh! Yeah, they just… needed help with paperwork.” 
Jay’s expression hardens ever so slightly as he tries to imagine a world where paperwork could possibly be that funny.
“Cool, cool,” he nods stiffly, side-eyeing Heeseung in the distance who’s still chatting with Esther. 
"Well," Jay shifts awkwardly as clears his throat, "I should get going to Jake. He's probably in tears by now, honestly."  
You frown at that, and Jay instantly self-identifies himself as the worst person on the planet. He barely resists the urge to apologize for everything he's ever done, from breathing in your direction to any other crime against humanity he's committed in your eyes.  
"Aw, come on," you say, teasingly, though even you're not sure why. It's just...fun having him around. "Stay a little longer. For the puppies!"  
Jay opens his mouth, fully ready to decline when he catches sight of your expression—those big, pleading eyes that make it impossible to say no. 
And that's it. He's doomed. Right then and there, Jay knows he's doomed.  
Is Jay currently surrounded by more puppies than he ever thought could physically exist in one place?
Yes. 
Does he think your puppy eyes are somehow cuter than all the puppies combined?
Annoyingly, also yes.  
And so, Jay would like to make some new things clear, for the record:  
First, there is no way any of this is his fault. If Jake ends up crying over outfit choices and demands to know why Jay ditched him for puppies, Jay has a rock-solid explanation. He’ll explain the situation, which obviously couldn’t be helped. Hanging out with you? Totally justified. Perfectly valid.  
And second, well—Jay would like to clarify that it's official now. Whatever he was feeling before?
Yeah, definitely attraction.  
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Your fingers drum against your blanket. You stare blankly at your bedroom ceiling. You let out another deep sigh. You toss and turn, adjusting your position for maybe the hundredth time. It's no use.
You're bored.  
And that, in itself, is a shocking revelation. You're never bored. Your schedule is usually packed to the brim—between assignments, club meetings, work shifts, and impromptu Save the Puppies campaigns, there's hardly room for boredom. But today?  
Today, life has gifted you a rare stretch of free time. No assignments to finish, no midterms to study for, no dog adoption events or café shifts. And apparently, you have no idea how to handle that.  
You turn to look at Jisoo, who's chilling in her spot on your bed next to you, not having a single ounce of consciousness for you to share your boredom with.  
With another sigh, you grab your phone and scroll aimlessly through your apps. You eventually land in your Photos app and swipe through mindlessly until a recent picture stops you in your tracks.  
It's a selfie Jay took of the two of you, Jisoo sandwiched between your faces. The infamous day of the pizza-night-turned-accidental-nap-turned-godforsaken-poop-incident. You'd submitted the photo to Professor Kim as proof of your co-parenting efforts, but now, looking at it again, you can't help but smile.  
It's strange. The memory should be traumatic—okay, it is traumatic—but in hindsight, it's also...kind of fun. The chaos, the banter, the way Jay somehow managed to make everything feel less overwhelming just by being there.  
Funny enough, that day was also the last time you remember having any sort of free time, and you remember complaining that you had to spend the day with Jay of all people. But now, looking back at it, you honestly did have fun. Being with Jay was...fun.  
Your thumb hovers over the screen for a moment before it unconsciously drifts towards the Phone app. You hesitate, realizing with a jolt that you're one tap away from calling Jay. It's like your brain suddenly shut off and something took over you. What's gotten into you?  
You blink at Jay's contact on your phone, your thumb still hovering over his name.  
No. Bad idea.  
You don't need Jay to entertain you just because you're bored. You're perfectly capable of having fun on your own...obviously. Obviously, even though the last hour of groaning and ceiling-staring suggests otherwise.  
Besides, Jay's probably busy doing...whatever it is Jay does at 4PM on a Saturday. Napping, probably.  
And what would you even say? Let's hang out? Like some middle schooler asking out their crush? Not to mention, you already have your 'Jisoo' plans in two days, so it's not like you have an excuse to see him.  
You sit up abruptly, shaking your head as if to clear the fog of ridiculous thoughts. Seriously, do you even hear yourself right now? Looking for an excuse to see him? Since when did you need excuses for anything, let alone something as absurd as spending more time than necessary with Jay Park?  
This has to be some kind of stress-induced meltdown. It's the only logical explanation. All those late-night study sessions, midterm panic attacks, Jisoo diaper changes, and endless extracurriculars must've finally fried your brain. And now, here you are, teetering on the edge of reason, actually wanting to see Jay Park.  
Great. Now you have a new problem.  
Because as much as you try to convince yourself otherwise, the truth is glaringly obvious: you want to see him. And that, more than any amount of free time or boredom, is the real problem. 
You've officially lost it.  
I've officially lost it, you chant in your head as your thumb hovers dangerously close to Jay's name on your screen again.  
I've officially lost it, the words grow louder, taunting you, as you hover over the call button. 
I've officially lost it, your thoughts scream as you give in, pressing down and watching in horror as your screen shifts to Calling Jay Park. 
And now, your heartbeat picks up with every ring. You can't decide what's worse—him answering or him ignoring the call. Maybe if he doesn't pick up, it'll be a sign from above that you're better off leaving this madness alone. Maybe—
"Hello?"  
Your train of thought screeches to a halt.  
"Y/N? Are you there?"  
"I'm here!" You blurt out, your voice jumping two octaves higher than usual. Real smooth, Y/N.  
"Hi...what's up? Are you okay? Is something wrong?" His voice is soft over the phone, a little concerned, like you're about to tell him Jisoo had another diaper emergency.  
You falter for a moment, staring at the ceiling like the answer might be written there.
"No! Nothing's wrong! I just—uh–" Quick, think of something normal!
"I was wondering what you're up to."  
"Me?" He sounds genuinely surprised, and you can practically hear the smile in this voice. At least, you think. Or, once again, you've officially lost it. "I'm at the campus gallery, setting up for my photography showcase. It's tonight."  
The campus gallery. His photography.  
You blink, this is news to you. You vaguely remember Jay asking if you could watch Jisoo tonight, and he hadn't given you a reason back then, but this is why he couldn't be on Jisoo duty today. Because of his showcase.  
"Wait, really?" You ask, hoping the interest in your voice doesn't show too much.  
"Yeah. I didn't mention it? Guess I forgot," he chuckles lightly. "It's not a big deal, just a student showcase. I'm just setting up now, making sure my pieces are hung straight and stuff."  
You swallow, a sudden wave of curiosity washing over you. You find yourself smiling to yourself, feeling a wave of endearment wash over you for some reason. The idea of Jay being completely focused and serious about a passion of his is...it's nice. It’s hard to reconcile the carefree, sarcastic guy you know with the thoughtful perspective he must have to capture the kinds of photos he does. 
"You should come by," he says suddenly, breaking you out of your thoughts. His voice is casual, but you think you catch a small, hopeful note in it. "If you're free, I mean. No pressure."  
You hesitate, your mind racing. Go? Don't go? It's just a showcase. It's not like it means anything. Right?  
"I'll think about it," you manage, trying to sound nonchalant.  
"Cool." There's a smile in his voice again. "Let me know. I'll save you a front-row seat."  
"Front row seat? For a gallery?" You deadpan, rolling your eyes as if he can see if over the phone.  
"Hey, I'm just being a good host."  
"Hmmm," you smile to yourself again. "Maybe. We'll see."  
But your decision was made the second he suggested that you should come. 
It doesn't mean anything. Friends come support each other all the time, right? Wait—
Are you and Jay even friends? You shake your head, trying to dismiss the warmth starting to spread in your chest.  
It's just photography.
It's just Jay.
Nothing to overthink here.  
✭・.・✫
“Okay, Jisoo, in and out,” you whisper to the robot baby in the carrier that's perched in your arms as you stand frozen outside the campus gallery doors. "We're just stopping by to say hi. Two minutes max. Like ripping off a Band-Aid. Nothing dramatic."  
Jisoo stares back at you, wide-eyed and unhelpfully silent, which you take as strong moral support.
"Thanks, Jisoo," you mutter, like a lunatic seeking validation from a robot.  
Maybe you shouldn't even go in. It's basically the end of the event anyway—what are the odds he'd even notice you didn't show?
Slim. Probably. Right?  
It's not like you didn't have a valid excuse for your lateness. You did have to change Jisoo’s diaper before you left, and that was a whole thing. But let's be real. 
The real delay?
The real delay was you standing in front of your closet for a solid half hour like a contestant on America's Next Top Existential Crisis. What do you even wear to casually drop by someone's photography showcase? Something that says, Hey, I'm effortlessly supportive, but I totally don't care if you notice me (yes I do).  
Spoiler alert: that outfit does not exist.  
And then—because clearly, you love to torture yourself—you spent another thirty minutes pacing around your room trying to figure out why you cared so much in the first place.  
It's Jay. Jay. The guy who thought sticking googly eyes on Jisoo's bottle would make her drink faster. Why are you stressed? Why are your palms sweaty?  
But despite all that, you somehow made it here, standing outside the gallery with your stomach doing flips like you're about to walk into your own trial. You made it all the way here, so might as well go in, right?  
You swallow hard, adjust your grip on your emotional support robot baby, and push the door open. 
And there he is.  
Center stage, right where he belongs—or at least where he seems to thrive. Standing in front of a massive wall of his framed photographs, the studio lights catch his profile just right. It's almost unfair, like he's been personally photoshopped by the gods themselves. He's surrounded by a small crowd, gesturing animatedly with his hands as he speaks, his smile so bright you're convinced it's starting to hurt your eyes.  
But his eyes? There's this sparkle in them. Not the usual playful glint you've grown used to, but something deeper, softer. You've never seen him look so alive, so utterly in his element, and it's doing weird things to your chest. 
You can't help but wonder—what does it feel like to make him look that happy? Not that it matters, obviously.
It's just a thought.
A completely useless, irrelevant, go-away-right-now kind of thought.  
If you weren't busy trying not to trip over your own feet and accidentally drop Jisoo, you might have stopped to take it all in. To admire the way he looks standing there, talking about something he clearly loves, like he's found this magical pocket of the universe where nothing else matters. Might have.  
But instead, your thoughts screech in a halt, jolting you out of your daydream.  
Abort mission. This was a terrible idea.  
Why did you come here? Why is your face hot? Can Jisoo smell fear?  
Before you can think of a single coherent reason to not turn around and bolt, Jay glances up. And he spots you.  
His eyes light up even more—if that's even physically possible. "Y/N?" He calls out, grinning widely.  
Great. Now you're here. He's happy to see you. You're standing in the middle of his gallery with a robot baby that can most definitely smell your fear.  
Fantastic. Just fantastic.  
Jay's voice cuts through your existential spiral, "Y/N!" He's waving you over as he calls out your name again, like you're a long-lost friend who's just returned from war. 
Well, to be fair, you are fighting a war—against your own dumb feelings.  
"Hey!" You croak, trying to sound casual but ending up somewhere between a dog's favorite squeaky toy and a rusty car horn. You internally flinch at your own voice.  
"Wow, you came," he says, his sweet smile still on display as you shuffle over to where he's standing. "And you brought Jisoo! My biggest fan."
He reaches out to cup Jisoo's cheeks, and you almost smack yourself in the head for feeling jealous over your own robot baby.  
"Yeah, well," you start, trying to sound nonchalant. "I figured, you know, project partners should support each other...teamwork and all that."  
Jay raises an eyebrow, clearly trying to stifle a laugh, "Right. Teamwork. Totally."  
You shift your weight from one leg to another, awkwardly looking up, eventually landing your eyes on the wall behind him, scanning the photos on display. Each photo is so him—a little chaotic, a little bold, but somehow...strikingly beautiful. There's a photo of a rainy city street, the light catching every droplet; a close-up of a sunflower against a brilliant sky; a candid of a kid laughing, his face tilted up toward the sun.  
You suddenly feel a weird, warm pull in your chest. It’s one thing to see Jay cracking jokes and making sarcastic comments during late-night baby meltdowns. But this? This is a side of him you’ve never seen before—one that’s thoughtful, intentional, passionate. 
You don’t realize how long you’ve been staring until Jay speaks up, his voice softer now. “Do you like them?” 
You blink, startled, and then nod a little too quickly. You hope he doesn't notice (he does).  
"Yeah. I mean...these are really good, Jay. You're–" you cut yourself off, realizing you're about to say something embarrassing.
''–talented," you finish lamely.  
"Thanks," Jay tilts his head, looking almost shy. "That means a lot, actually."  
His voice is so genuine that it throws you off. You weren't prepared for this level of sincerity. It makes your stomach flip in a way that's both exciting and mildly terrifying.  
Jay gestures toward the wall, his hands shoved into his pockets like he's trying not to fidget.
"I wasn't sure if this was your kind of thing, thought you'd be busy and stuff, but I'm glad you came. I, uh..," he scratches the back of his neck sheepishly, "I was kind of hoping you would."  
Oh.  
Oh?  
OH.  
Your brain immediately short-circuits. He hoped you'd come? Like...in a we're-in-this-together-as-project-partners way, or in a please-let-this-mean-something-more-than-project-partners way? Is this what cardiac arrest feels like? Should you call someone? Should you call him? No, wait, you're already talking to him—focus! 
You clear your throat and try to channel every ounce of chill you simply do not possess.
"Well," you say, attempting to keep your voice steady and failing miserably, "I'm here."  
It comes out barely louder than a whisper, and you immediately regret every life decision that's led you to this moment. But then Jay smiles—soft, something smaller, more private—and it's like the world shifts slightly off its axis.  
"Yeah," he says quietly, his eyes meeting yours with a warmth that makes you forget how to breathe. "You are."  
And just like that, the noise of the environment dissolves, and the rest of the world shrinks to nothing but the space between you and him. The moment feels impossibly big like it might swallow you whole, and yet so small it could shatter with the slightest breath.  
You're pretty sure you're about to combust. Explode. Turn into a human firework fueled entirely by sheer tension and whatever it is that's happening right now. God, why does he have to look at you like that? Like you're not standing here internally unraveling?  
You break eye contact to glance down at Jisoo, and you're positive she's giving you a look that screams, Stop being weird, you two.  
"Anyway!" You blurt out, desperate to break the tension.
"Which one's your favorite?" You gesture to the photos, your eyes darting anywhere but his own. 
He laughs, and the sound is warm and unguarded, "C'mon, I'll show you."  
He grabs your free hand without thinking, tugging you toward the far end of the wall. And just like that, you're helplessly following him, heart racing again, wondering how the hell you got here—and why you never want to leave.  
So much for in and out.  
Jay pulls you towards the far end of the gallery, his hand wrapped around yours like it's the most natural thing in the world.  
It's not.  
Your brain is in full-blown meltdown mode. Red alerts, sirens blaring, a voice screaming, "WE'RE HOLDING HANDS, PEOPLE!"  
But there's no way you're about to let him see how much this is affecting you, so you shove the chaos down, pretending like your hand isn't currently experiencing the touch equivalent of fireworks...and hoping that it isn't sweaty.  
"This one," Jay says, stopping in front of a photo that's somehow both ordinary and magical. It's a simple shot of your campus football field, taken from the bleacher stands. You've stood in those very bleachers too many times to count—for school events, games, the occasional half-hearted attempt to pretend you like sports. But somehow, in this shot, the field looks...different.  
The grass glows like it's soaked in liquid gold under a sky caught between dusk and twilight. The field is empty, yet it doesn't feel lonely. There's something about it that Jay managed to capture—like it holds a thousand stories and secrets, quietly hopeful in its stillness.  
"It's beautiful," you murmur, the words slipping out before you can catch them. 
"Yeah," Jay lets out a breath. "It's my favorite spot on campus. I go there a lot when I need to think or just...get away a bit."  
You glance at him, startled at the sudden vulnerability in his voice. Jay never strikes you as someone who gets lost in his head; he always seemed too confident, too effortlessly sure of himself. But right now, he's not looking at you—he's staring at the photo, like he's seeing something beyond it.  
"I took it on one of those days—I was just overthinking a lot about life. About who I am, I guess," he continues. "I didn't think it'd turn out good or anything, but...I don't know. It felt right."  
Your chest tightens. There's something so raw in the way he's speaking, like he's letting you see a side of him he usually keeps hidden. It makes you wonder how many other layers Jay Park has, and why it feels so important to uncover them all.  
The silence between you stretches as you watch Jay continue to study his own photograph. There's a softness in his gaze, a quiet vulnerability that makes you feel like you're seeing him a way few people ever do.  
But then he blinks, breaking the moment, and suddenly he's looking at you. You stiffen, panic bubbling up at the possibility that he might've noticed you staring at him.  
"Sorry," he says, his voice carrying a self-deprecating chuckle. "It's really cheesy and stupid."  
You find yourself shaking your head before he even finishes his sentence.
"No! Not at all, really," you blurt out, the words stumbling over themselves in their rush to escape. You feel the heat creeping up your neck, mortified at your sudden intensity.  
Jay raises an eyebrow, amused, but doesn't say anything, so you clear your throat and try again, softer this time, "I mean it. You have a good eye, Jay."
You mean it more than you've meant anything in a while, and you hope he knows that.  
For a second, he just looks at you, like he's taking note of something, his head tilted ever so slightly. And then, slowly, his lips curve into that small, genuine smile that makes your chest feel annoyingly warm.
"Thanks, Y/N."  
Your heart does a little somersault. Oh great. There it goes again.  
And as if Jisoo can sense the moment might be getting too serious, she lets out a cry. You stumble back, jump scared enough by the loud and sudden sound, and Jay reacts instantly, steadying you with his hands on your shoulders.  
"You okay?" He asks, his face so close that you can now confirm there are literal, actual flecks of gold in his eyes. Of course there are.  
You blink. I've officially lost it. Completely, utterly, hopelessly, lost it.  
You nod, your voice stuck in your throat. Am I okay? No. No, you are not okay. You are decidedly not okay.  
Jay clears his throat, stepping back—though his hands linger a beat longer than they probably need to, but still a second too short than you should probably want to. 
You want to scream into the void.  
"Looks like it's time for Jisoo's dinner," he says lightly with a small chuckle. 
You fumble for words, your brain still offline.
"Uh—yeah. I left her bottle at my place, and I should probably get going anyways," you manage, your voice a little too breathless for comfort.  
Jay glances at his watch, pausing for a moment before looking back at you, something hopeful flicking in his eyes.
"I'm pretty much done here," he says, tilting his head towards the door. "It's late. Let me walk you home."  
You hesitate, torn between insisting you're perfectly fine on your own (you're not) and letting him (you want to). But the way he's looking at you—like it's no big deal, like he simply wants to—makes the decision for you.  
"Okay," you say, quieter than you mean to, and before you can second-guess yourself, Jay's already taking Jisoo's carrier from your arms, effortlessly shifting it onto his own.  
"Let's go," he says, flashing you a small smile that feels like a punch to your stomach in the best way possible.  
And just like that, you're walking side by side into the cool night air, your breaths visible in the chill, easily falling into a comfortable rhythm as you walk through the quiet campus, the streetlights above casting long shadows ahead of you. 
There’s something easy about walking with him like this. It shouldn’t feel this natural—your heart’s doing somersaults and pirouettes like it’s auditioning for a circus—but it does. You steal a glance at him, and he’s focused on the path ahead, his profile calm and soft in the glow of the lights. 
"So," Jay breaks the quiet as he stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets, "Can you believe the project's almost over?"  
You let out a small laugh, tilting your head, "Honestly, no. Feels like just yesterday I was praying you'd drop the class."  
Jay laughs, a sound that seems to echo in the quiet environment.
"Wow, Y/N. I thought we were bonding."  
"We were," you tease, turning to him with a barely concealed smirk. "I just also thought you were going to be a disaster of a partner."  
He scoffs, giving you a mock-offended look, "I proved you wrong, right? I was amazing since day one."  
"You handed Jisoo to me like she was a bomb, Jay," you remind him, unable to stop yourself from laughing.  
"I was assessing the danger!" Jay protests, his grin widening. "And excuse me, I've stepped up. I've made bottles, I've cleaned her, I even know how to put on a diaper the right side up!"  
"Jay, the fact that you had to learn which way was right side up is concerning in itself," you manage to let out with a giggle. 
"Details, details," he waves a dismissive hand. "Point is, I'm practically father of the year."  
You roll your eyes, but you're smiling. A sharp breeze suddenly hits the both of you, and you visibly shiver from the lack of warmth your outfit provides. All that time choosing an outfit, and you still couldn't pick a weather-appropriate one. Stellar, Y/N.  
And of course, Jay notices immediately. Before you can so much as form a protest, he's shrugging his jacket off and draping it over your shoulders, your body immediately stiffening as his hands brush against you lightly in the process.  
You open your mouth to say something—anything, even just a whispered thank you—but Jay beats you to it, sparing you the effort of finding actual, coherent words. 
“So,” he says casually, like he hasn’t just sent your brain spiraling, “what do you think you’ll do when it’s over?”
"Uh," you blink, still needing a second to reorient yourself. "Sleep, for once."  
Jay laughs again. "Fair. You deserve it. But you'll miss me, right?"  
"Not even for a second," you deadpan without hesitation.  
"Liar," he teases, bumping your shoulder lightly.  
You reach your building all too soon, the doors looming in front of you like an unwelcome reminder that this walk, this moment, is about to end. You stop just before the steps and turn to face him, rocking on your heels.  
"Okay, maybe a little," you admit, shrugging. "But only because you make me look like the competent one by comparison."  
"Wow," Jay shakes his head, but there it is again. The smile—the small, amused one that makes his eyes crinkle just enough to be unfairly attractive. 
You glance up at him, wishing the walk had been just a few blocks longer. Or a few miles.  
"Well," you say finally, forcing your gaze away from his own. "Thanks for walking me. And for carrying Jisoo." 
You reach for Jisoo's carrier, and Jay hands it over without hesitation, but not before shrugging like it's no big deal.
"No problem," he says. Then, as you're adjusting the carrier on your arm, he adds, "And thanks again, Y/N. For coming tonight. It really meant a lot."  
Your heart does that stupid fluttery thing again it's been doing all night, and you're starting to think you need a medical consultation.  
"Yeah, well," you clear your throat. "Partner support, you know?" You sound dumb, Y/N. Dumb.  
Jay smirks, but there's something gentler in his expression now, a flicker of something you can't quite name. 
"Goodnight, Y/N. And goodnight, Jisoo," he says, giving a small wave to the baby carrier, making you giggle slightly.  
He takes a few steps back, his hands slipping into his pockets, and gives you one last smile before turning to walk away. But before he gets too far, something bursts out of you, unwarned.  
"Jay!"  
He stops, turning on his heels, his brows lifting in surprise. "Yeah?"  
You step forward, closing a bit of the distance between you, suddenly hyper-aware of how your voice wavers.
"Um, I was wrong. You're...not all that bad." Why am I doing this? "I'm sorry if I've been...you know, intense. These past few years."  
Jay blinks at you, his surprise turning into something softer. You take a deep breath, pushing through the self-inflicted awkwardness. 
"You've been a really good partner," you add, offering a small, genuinely smile. "And well...you're pretty cool."  
His studies your face for a moment, the look longing and careful, like he's piecing together something fragile. A faint smile tugs at his lips, and there's a warmth in his expression that sends heat rushing to your cheeks.   
For a moment, the two of you just stand here, caught in the glow of the streetlamp. The world around you feels distant, like someone's hit the mute button on everything but the sound of your heartbeat.  
Jay's smile widens ever so slightly, and he nods, his voice quiet but firm, "I'll see you around, Y/N."  
He takes a few steps backward, his gaze holding yours until he finally turns and starts walking away. You watch him disappear into the night, the outline of his figure fading with the streetlights, and only then do you realize you've been holding your breath.  
As you step into your building and climb the stairs to your apartment, the night replays in your head on a loop—his laugh, his smile, his everything.  
When you finally reach your door, you lean against it for a moment, his large jacket still wrapped around you. Your thoughts crash into you all at once, and two things become alarmingly clear:  
You are completely, utterly, hopelessly in like with Jay Park.  
You're in so much trouble.  
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“Congratulations, everyone!” Professor Kim clasps her hands together at the front of the classroom, a wide smile on her face. “You’ve survived six weeks of parenting. Hopefully, you’ve learned something useful—and that it hasn’t scared you off from actual parenthood one day. Each baby had a monitor tracking its status, so I’ll be extracting that data, combining it with your progress reports, and factoring it into your grade.” 
Jay leans toward you from his seat next to you, his breath warm against your ear.
“That’s a little creepy…she’s going to take Jisoo apart? The poor thing.” His smirk is half-guilty, half-amused, and you have to bite down on your lip to keep from laughing out loud. 
This is new. Six weeks ago, he was Mr. Front-Row Enthusiast, and sometime between then and now, you’ve somehow managed to convert him into your next-row-back partner. He’d grumbled at first when you insisted about your theory that the front row screamed try-hard, but since then, he doesn’t even glance at the seats up front anymore. 
“Grades will be out soon! I’ll see you all next week,” Professor Kim announces. “And don’t forget to submit your reflection posts!” 
The shuffle of bags and jackets fills the room as students thank her on their way out. Slowly, the lecture hall empties, until it’s just you and Jay lingering at your seats. 
“Well,” you say, slinging your bag over your shoulder as you stand. “That’s it. No more parenting lessons for us.” 
Jay heaves a dramatic sigh, his lips pulling into a pout that’s far too endearing for your peace of mind, “I can’t believe it. I already miss Jisoo.” 
You chuckle lightly but feel an odd tug in your chest, “Right? I got so used to carrying her and her baby bag everywhere. It’s weird not having her around.” 
And it is weird. You never thought you’d feel this way about a glorified hunk of plastic and wires, but now, without Jisoo, something feels…off.  
Or maybe it’s not just Jisoo. Maybe it’s the fact that this project, unexpectedly enough, turned into an excuse—a reason to spend so much time with Jay. Now that it’s over, what happens next? 
The thought hangs between you as the two of you head out of the building. The campus is alive with the hum of students, the energy buzzing around you as everyone heads to their afternoon classes. You both stop outside, standing awkwardly side by side as the silence stretches. 
No more 'Jisoo days' to plan for. No more excuses to text. No more shared tasks or inside jokes. 
Will he go back to his front-row seat, forgetting these last few weeks? Or will he—will you—pretend none of this ever happened? 
Jay shifts beside you, rubbing the back of his neck. His eyes flicker to yours, then away again, as if he’s waiting for you to say something first. 
“Well,” you finally say, breaking the quiet because it’s just too heavy to bear. “I have to head to my next class.” 
“Right. Yeah,” Jay says quickly, too quickly, his hands both fidgeting with the straps of his backpack. “Makes sense.” 
He hesitates, his mouth opening like he’s about to add something, but then he stops. You notice the way he’s looking at you, like there’s a thousand things he wants to say but can’t figure out how to start. You feel that familiar heat creep up your neck, the same one you tend to get whenever you’re around him nowadays.  
“Alright,” you finally say, shifting on your feet. “See you around, then?” 
Jay’s lips turn up in a small, almost longing, smile, “Yeah. See you.” 
He doesn’t move, though. Neither do you. It’s like both of you are waiting for the other to take a step away first, and the pause grows longer and longer until you can practically hear the universe screaming at you to just go already. It’s getting unbearably uncomfortable for all of us, Y/N.  
And when you finally start to turn, before you can even take three steps, his voice stops you. 
“Hey.” 
You glance back over your shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah?” 
Jay scratches the back of his neck, looking like he’s fighting some kind of internal battle.
“Uh, you were also a really good partner. You know, with Jisoo. I mean, you were kinda terrifying at first with all your color-coded schedules and spreadsheets, but…” 
His smile softens, and his voice drops a little, “You were great. Really. I think I learned a thing or two from you.”  
Your stomach flips in a way that’s both infuriating and addictive. 
“Thanks,” you say, trying to sound casual even though your brain is short-circuiting. “Means a lot from someone who had to Google which way a diaper goes.”  
He laughs, the sound bright and warm in the cool air, “Okay, one time, Y/N. Let it go.” 
“Nope.” You grin, turning fully toward him now, your nerves settling under the familiarity of teasing. “You’ll never live it down. It’s my parting gift to you.” 
Jay presses a hand to his chest, feigning hurt, “Wow. I pour my heart out, and this is what I get in return?” 
“Exactly.” 
He chuckles again, shaking his head before finally stepping back, breaking the invisible bubble that’s been holding you both in place.
“Alright. I’ll see you, Y/N.” 
“Bye, Jay,” you say, forcing yourself to turn and start walking away.  
You make it a few steps before you hear his voice a second time, softer this time, almost hesitant. 
“Y/N.” 
You glance back, your heart skipping a beat. 
Jay looks at you for a moment, his expression unreadable, before his lips curve into a small, lopsided smile.
“Text me when you get home later tonight, okay? After your day is done.���  
You blink, caught off guard.
“What?” 
“Just…so I know you got there safe,” he says, shrugging like it’s no big deal. But the way his voice dips at the end betrays him. 
Your chest tightens in a way that officially feels dangerous. But you know you never want to get enough of this feeling.   
“Okay,” you manage to say, the word quieter than you meant, but it was the most you could muster up with the bubble stuck in your throat.  
Jay nods, his smile widening just a little.
“Good.” 
And this time, when you turn away, you can’t stop the smile that sneaks onto your face. 
✭・.・✫
By the time you get home, it’s late, and the apartment is quiet. Esther is nowhere to be found—probably out with Heeseung or at the library pretending to study. You toe off your shoes and drop your bag by the door, the routine feeling strangely empty without Jisoo’s carrier on your arm and her baby bag strapped to the other.  
With a sigh, you find your way to your room and collapse onto your bed, scrolling aimlessly through your phone. Jay’s parting words have been echoing in your head all day, barely letting you focus during the rest of your classes—“Text me when you get home.” 
You hover over your messages for a second longer than necessary, typing and deleting a draft once, then twice, then a third time, before finally hitting send: 
Y/N [8:52PM]: home safe 👍 
You stare at the screen for exactly three seconds before flinging your phone across your bed. You roll over, face buried in your pillow, half hoping he doesn’t reply so you don’t have to overanalyze the significance of a thumbs-up emoji. 
But, of course, your phone buzzes almost instantly. 
Jay [8:53PM]: good 👍 sleep well. 
A small, ridiculous smile tugs at your lips. You really shouldn’t be this giddy over such a mundane exchange, over a thumbs up emoji, but somehow, here you are. 
And that’s when you start going insane. You shoot up from your spot in bed.  
Why did he tell you to text him? Does he say that to everyone? Or was it just…you? And why does he keep looking at you like that? You’ve never been the kind of person to spiral like this, but lately, everything about Jay has you unraveling in ways you don’t know how to handle.
Clearly.  
You groan, flailing your arms like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
“Get it together, Y/N,” you mutter to yourself, but it’s no use. Every little interaction from the past six weeks replays in your head on a loop—his laughter, his stupid jokes, the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. 
Your thoughts are interrupted by a sharp buzz from your phone. You glance over, half expecting a random notification (the other half hoping Jay double texted you) but instead, it’s the one you’ve been waiting for without realizing it: 
Professor Kim: Final grades are posted! 
Your heart leaps. Practically fumbling with your phone, you open the grading portal, scanning the page with a held breath. And there it is, staring back at you in bold letters: 
Semester Project Grade: 100% 
“YES!” you exclaim, punching the air like a successful cartoon character. You’re grinning so wide your cheeks hurt, practically bouncing in bed. It’s the kind of happiness that makes you feel like you’re going to burst if you don’t share it with someone. 
And there’s only one person you want to share it with. 
Before you know what you’re doing, your closet doors are wide open, your hands rifling through. Your hands land on his jacket—the one he lent you after the showcase—and something about it feels right. You shrug it on, ignoring the way it smells faintly like him (and comfort), and grab your keys without a second thought. 
By the time you realize what you’re doing, you’re already halfway to Jay’s apartment. It’s not like you had a plan—just this overwhelming need to see him.  
Because somehow, he’s become the first person you want to share everything with, want to experience every moment with, want to feel every feeling with, and that thought is both exhilarating and terrifying all at once.  
But you’ve never been so sure of anything else before.  
Your breath hitches as you reach his familiar door, hand raised to knock. You hesitate for a moment, suddenly aware of how ridiculous this is. Who shows up at someone’s place at this hour, unannounced, just to tell them about a grade? What if he already saw it and didn’t even think twice? You look insane, Y/N. Insane.  
But then you think about the way he looked at you earlier, the way he smiled when he said “good job.” 
And you knock.  
✭・.・✫
Jay doesn’t know what’s happening. One second, he’s on his couch editing photos, and the next, someone’s trying to break down his door. At least, that’s what it sounds like. The pounding is so aggressive it makes his mug of tea tremble slightly on the table. 
Heart racing, Jay tosses his laptop aside and scans the room for a weapon. Nothing. Great. In a flash of panic, he grabs the TV remote because, sure, it’s sleek, ergonomic, and maybe intimidating in the right light. 
Bracing himself for certain doom, he yanks the door open— 
“Oh.” 
It’s you. 
At his doorstep. 
Unannounced. 
In his jacket. 
Jay flatlines. All he can do is stare at you in the oversized jacket—his oversized jacket—looking like you walked straight out of one of his dream scenarios. The rational part of him is trying to keep it together, but the feral part of his brain is screaming She’s in my clothes. Marriage now. 
You tilt your head, studying his expression.
“Jay? Are you…okay?” 
He blinks, realizing he’s been standing there for a good five seconds with his mouth slightly open.  
“Uh. Yeah. Totally. Uh—what’s up?” 
“Well first, why are you wielding a TV remote like it’s a sword?” 
Jay glances down at the remote in his hand, then back at you.
“…I thought you were a robber.” 
“A robber?” you repeat, struggling not to laugh. “What kind of robber knocks?” 
“I don’t know, maybe a polite one!” 
You let out a giggle and shrug, “Fair enough. But anyway, I’m here because—did you see?” 
“See what?” He frowns, confused, and still recovering from his adrenaline rush. 
“Professor Kim posted our grades! We got a 100%!” 
Jay stares at you for a second before the words sink in.
“Wait—what? We got a hundred?” 
“Yes!” You’re practically bouncing, a bright smile lighting up your face. “A perfect score, Jay!” 
He laughs and steps forward, grabbing your shoulders in his hands.
“No way. We actually did it?!” 
“We did it!” You beam back, jumping up and down. “We crushed it!” 
Jay’s grinning so hard his cheeks hurt, but he doesn’t care. There’s something about seeing you this happy, standing in his doorway like a whirlwind of energy, that makes his chest feel way too full, too complete.  
And for a moment, the two of you are just standing there, caught up in the moment, smiling at each other like idiots. 
When the excitement dies down, Jay notices the way you’re still slightly breathless, like you’d run all the way here.  
“Wait,” he squints. “You could’ve just texted me, you know.” 
“Oh,” you shift your weight, suddenly looking a little shy. “Yeah. But I just…wanted to see you.” 
Jay blinks. His brain is once again malfunctioning.  
“Oh.”  
Oh? 
OH.  
“Yeah. So…here I am,” you add, failing miserably to conceal the wobble in your voice.  
“Here you are,” he repeats, his voice back to that soft tone that knows how to make your heart go into overdrive.  
His eyes flicker to yours and stay there as the air between you suddenly feels heavier. Charged. 
“Is that all?” Jay asks, his lips twitching into a teasing smile. 
“Uh,” you clear your throat, looking anywhere but at him. “I guess.” 
Jay leans against the doorframe, studying you with that stupidly charming smirk of his, “Well, then.” 
“Well, then,” you echo, fingers fidgeting with the hem of his jacket like it’s the most fascinating thing you’ve ever encountered (spoiler: it’s not. That would be Jay’s face. But we’re not admitting that just yet). 
Neither of you moves. Not even a millimeter. The silence stretches so long that you’re pretty sure somewhere in the world, a Netflix show just autoplayed its next episode. 
Then, suddenly, Jay watches as your face cycles through the emotional Olympics: panic, resolve, regret, and whatever it is that makes your eyebrows do that cute scrunch thing he secretly loves. 
“I should go,” you say, finally breaking the silence, your voice quieter now. “Sorry for barging in like this.” 
You look down at your feet, hands still mindlessly playing with the sleeve of his jacket. Jay’s stomach twists at the sight—at the quiet, unsure way you’re suddenly retreating.  
No. Absolutely not. He doesn’t know where his bravery is coming from (he suspects it’s sheer desperation), but he refuses to let you leave like this. 
Before you can fully turn away, Jay reaches out and gently grabs your sleeve, tugging you back like you’re his favorite person in the world—which, spoiler again, you totally are. 
“Wait,” he says, pulling you close enough that you bump into his chest. Both his hands find their way to your waist, steadying you with an ease that feels practiced. Like it’s where his hands were always meant to be. 
And that's when Jay knows for sure: he likes you. He likes you bad. Painful highlighters, confusing spreadsheets, and all. He likes the way you carry your stubbornness like a badge of honor. He likes the way you chew on your pen when you're deep in thought. The way you turn his every sarcastic comment into a competition he's somehow thrilled to lose.  
“You forgot something,” he murmurs, his voice soft and low as his eyes search yours, then your lips, then your entire face.  
Your heart stumbles, your brain short-circuits, and you’re pretty sure your face is now the color of a stop sign. 
“Oh, uh, the jacket?” you stammer, looking down at where he grabbed your sleeve, grasping for any logical explanation. “You’re right. Sorry, I almost—” 
But before you can finish, Jay does something both incredibly bold and incredibly reckless. He leans in and presses his lips to yours. 
For a moment, you freeze. This isn’t real. Is this an alternate universe where Jay kisses you instead of just driving you insane? 
But then, the realization sinks in—Jay is kissing you. Like, actually kissing you. And wow. 
The first touch of his lips sends a rush through your entire body, like every nerve has suddenly woken up all at once. He’s hesitant at first, almost like he’s giving you the chance to pull away, but when you don’t—when you finally let go of all the confusion, overthinking, and denial—you lean into him, your hands both instinctively reaching up, gripping the fabric of his shirt to ground yourself as you kiss him back, now realizing how much you desperately wanted this.  
And that’s all the encouragement Jay needs.  
His hands tighten on your waist, pulling you flush against him, his fingers brushing the hem of the jacket you’re wearing—his jacket, you remember with a strange, fluttering thrill. The kiss deepens, gentle but insistent, a slow, breathtaking unraveling of all the tension that’s been simmering between you for weeks. 
It’s like the air shifts around you, the space between you collapsing into nothing. You feel his breath, warm against your skin, and the faintest hitch in it when your hand moves up to lightly curl against the back of his neck. 
He’s so close, and everything about this moment feels right—his familiar scent, the steady warmth of his hands on your waist, the way he tilts his head slightly to meet yours like he’s memorizing the shape of you. 
Your heart pounds, the world spinning just a little too fast and too slow all at once. It’s electric, and dizzying, and somehow everything and nothing like you imagined (because, yes, you’ve imagined it—so what?). 
Jay pulls back just slightly, his forehead brushing yours as he grins, his voice a playful mumble against your lips, not wanting to break the kiss, “You can keep the jacket.” 
Your laugh bubbles out before you can stop it, your forehead dropping to his shoulder as you clutch at his arms for balance.
“Seriously? That’s what you’re thinking about right now?” 
“I’m a multi-tasker,” he replies, deadpan, his lips turning into a teasing smirk as he leans in and steals another quick kiss. He starts to pull back again, but you don't let him—your hand catches his sleeve as you dart up and chase his lips for one more peck, light and fleeting, but enough to make him smile like a fool.
You're completely, utterly, hopelessly obsessed with him.  
"Besides," he adds, the words smug as his arms tighten around you, "I've already sacrificed my jacket. Might as well give up my dignity too."  
You roll your eyes, “You’re still an idiot.” 
“And yet, I’m the idiot you kissed back,” Jay fires back, brushing a strand of hair from your face.  
You shake your head, your voice soft and teasing, “You’re so—” 
The words trail off as you meet his gaze again, and before you can even think about stopping yourself, you tilt your head up, close the remaining distance between you, and kiss him first this time.  
Jay freezes for a second, caught off guard, before he fully melts into the kiss again, one hand instinctively curling around your waist to keep you as close as possible. There's no hesitation now, no teasing, no holding back—just the two of you in the quiet of his doorway, and the overwhelming certainty that neither of you wants to let this—this moment, this feeling—to end. 
When you finally pull back, Jay’s eyes are sparkling, his gaze holding an undeniable warmth. 
“You know,” he starts, voice light but tinged with something deeper, “if you keep doing that, I might start thinking you actually like me or something.” 
You raise an eyebrow, leaning in just close enough to make him squirm, your smirk playful. 
“And if you keep talking,” you murmur, your voice low and teasing, “I might change my mind.” 
Jay blinks, momentarily stunned, before letting out a breathless laugh, his arms instinctively circling your waist again, pulling you just a little closer.
“Noted. Say less. I’ll shut up forever. You’re stuck with me now.” 
Stuck with Jay? As in a more-than-project-partners kind of way? 
Yeah, you think, meeting the smile he’s giving you. 
You don’t mind that idea one bit. 
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Now that the six weeks of parenthood is over, we ask that you write a reflection post in response to your pre-questionnaire answers we asked you at the beginning of the project. Were your expectations met? Exceeded? Any surprises along the way?
Y/N’s Submission [11:15AM, October 30th]:
Parenting, even with a robot baby, turned out to be nothing like I expected. I’ve learned that no matter how much you plan, babies (and life) have a way of completely ignoring your carefully crafted schedules. It was frustrating at times, but it also made things…unexpectedly fun.
Speaking of unexpected—let’s just say my partnership for this project caught me completely off guard, in the best way possible. Turns out, some surprises are worth breaking the plan for :)
Jay’s Submission [11:30AM, October 30th]:
Honestly? I expected surprises, but I wasn’t ready to lose three years of my life over a diaper change—or nearly go deaf from tantrums. Safe to say, I learned the hard way that being a little prepared isn’t such a bad idea.
But here’s the thing: turns out, babies (and certain project partners) have a way of growing on you. Who knew spreadsheets and sleepless nights could actually be…kinda great? I guess what I’m saying is, sometimes the best things aren’t planned. And also, I know how to change a diaper in 30 seconds now. The right side up :)
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
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heavenlybodies333 · 25 days ago
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Mile High Club -S.R
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Spencer Reid x coworker!reader | fwb |
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The jet was obscene. A floating mansion in the sky.
You gaped as the BAU team boarded the aircraft parked on a private tarmac in D.C., your heels hitting the polished wood floor with a hesitant tap. Leather seating, marble bar, private suites. An attendant handed you a glass of champagne before you even made it down the aisle.
“What the hell is this?” you muttered, spinning in place to take in the sheer scope of it. “Is this what profiling gets us now?”
Hotch gave you a rare smirk as he passed, briefcase in hand. “No. It’s what tracking a fugitive across thirty states and two continents gets us.”
The team had been summoned by the American embassy in Dubai. The unsub they’d been chasing for months—one who’d left thirty-two bodies and three different crime scene signatures in his wake—had been identified on surveillance across multiple embassies in the UAE. A rare international assignment, fully funded and far from home.
The suspect vanished two days ago. Now intel pointed to him hiding out, most likely going to kill again.
And someone—likely someone very powerful—had arranged this flight.
"Still feels like overkill," you muttered, slipping into the seat beside Reid. "We're profilers, not diplomats."
He gave you a small smile. “Well, if the killer fled to an oil-rich nation that wanted to avoid an international scandal, they might be motivated to… expedite things. Quietly.”
“Expedite,” you echoed. “Right. With lobster rolls and Egyptian cotton.”
Reid’s hand brushed yours where it rested on the seat between you. His pinky hooked around yours for just a second—barely noticeable. But you noticed. And so did Morgan.
“Damn,” Derek said, appearing out of nowhere with a bourbon in hand, eyeing the two of you with a smirk. “Either this plane’s making everyone real friendly, or I’ve missed something.”
Reid’s hand snapped back like he’d touched fire. You rolled your eyes and took a sip of champagne to hide your smile.
“Missed what, exactly?” JJ asked, raising a perfectly arched brow as she slid into the seat opposite yours with Emily.
“I think Morgan’s bored,” you said smoothly. “He’s making up romance novels in his head again.”
Emily grinned. “As long as it doesn’t end with someone getting murdered, I’m in.”
The banter helped. It always did. You’d needed it this time—God, had you needed it—because this case had been a living hell. But Spencer had been your quiet anchor the entire time. Late-night reports shared in silence.
An hour later, most of the team had dispersed. JJ and Emily had locked themselves into the in-flight spa shower suite, probably out of sheer curiosity. Rossi was drinking brandy and reading a dossier. Morgan was in the gaming lounge—yes, the gaming lounge—trying to beat a VR flight simulator and laughing too loudly. Hotch had disappeared in the private meeting suite at the front of the jet, reviewing files.
And you were standing at the open door of the bedroom in the back of the plane, staring at the bed. Plush, king-sized, with crisp sheets and ambient lighting that looked entirely too romantic for an FBI-sanctioned flight.
You didn’t turn around when you heard him step in behind you.
“I’m going to hell for what I want to do to you in there,” you said softly.
“I think about you like this,” he whispered hoarsely. “On planes. In cars. In the fucking briefing room. I think about your legs around my shoulders while Hotch is assigning tasks.”
Spencer moved fast. Faster than you thought he would—quicker than he ever did in public. One hand gripped your waist, the other tangled in your hair, and his mouth was on yours with a force that stole the breath right out of your lungs.
God, you loved it when he stopped pretending.
You kissed him hard, fingers twisting into his shirt, until the press of your bodies wasn't enough. His hand slid beneath your blouse, up your spine, over the lace clasp of your bra, and you moaned into his mouth—quiet, but not that quiet.
“Shh,” he whispered, grinning against your lips.
“I hate when you do that.”
“No you don’t,” he murmured, pushing you back onto the edge of the bed. “You love when I tell you to be quiet.”
That made you whimper. Loudly.
He hovered over you, hips pressed between your knees, and you felt the hard line of his cock against your thigh. God, he was already so worked up. For you.
“Spence,” you breathed, nails biting into his shoulders. “We shouldn’t.”
“I know.”
“They could hear.”
“I know.”
You dragged him down again, desperate. His hands roamed everywhere—over your breasts, your stomach, under your skirt. You rolled your hips and ground against him, hungry now. He groaned like you’d short-circuited him, fingers sliding your panties to the side, and the moment he touched you, everything else disappeared.
He dropped to his knees, pulled you to the edge of the bed, and buried his face between your thighs like it was the last thing he’d ever do. You had to bite your wrist to keep from screaming his name. His tongue was unrelenting—years of theoretical knowledge applied in all the right places, all at once. When he slid two fingers inside you and curled them just right, your whole body tightened.
“Spence—Spencer, I’m gonna—”
He groaned low, desperate, then licked a slow, torturous path along your inner thigh, teasing the wetness already dripping down your legs. “You’re soaked.”
“Maybe I like planes,” you said, voice shaking as his tongue flicked over your clit.
He laughed against your skin. “Or maybe you like me like this.”
And when he stood, eyes wild and lips glistening, he didn’t ask. He just kissed you again, harder this time—messy, filthy—before turning you around, bending you over the silk-covered mattress, and pulling himself free from his pants.
The first push of him inside you knocked the breath from your lungs.
You both gasped.
“Fuck,” he groaned, forehead pressed to your shoulder. Thrusting into you over and over, hand tangled in your hair, the other pressed flat over your mouth when you got too loud.
His hand muffled the broken moan that ripped from your throat as he snapped his hips harder—deeper—each thrust shaking the frame of the bed beneath you. You were gripping the silk sheets so tightly they might rip, your knuckles white, your legs trembling.
You whimpered, hips rocking back into his.
“Spencer,” you cried out, muffled by his palm. “Oh my God, I—”
He didn’t stop. Didn’t slow. His fingers dug into your hips as he snapped into you harder. You were shaking, sweat slicking your skin, and when he moved his hand to your throat, gently tilting your head back so he could kiss your jaw, you came, moaning as he thrusted you full of warm cum making your eyes roll back.
The only sound in the room was the distant hum of the engines and the obscene panting of your wrecked lungs. Spencer’s weight slumped against your back, his arms wrapped around your waist, still inside you.
Then he kissed the base of your neck. Soft. Gentle. Too intimate for something that was supposed to be casual.
You turned your head just enough to look at him. His curls were a mess, cheeks flushed, pupils blown wide. You’d never seen him like this. You’d never seen him more beautiful.
And it hit you like a punch to the gut.
This wasn’t casual. It hadn’t been casual for a long time.
“Spence…” you whispered, suddenly breathless for a different reason.
He brushed your hair away from your face, brow furrowing like he’d heard it in your tone.
But then—like a cruel twist of fate—the door handle rattled.
Both of you froze.
“Yo, Pretty Boy?” came Morgan’s voice, way too close. “You in there? I need your brain. JJ says I can’t bet on whether or not Rossi’s gonna fall asleep with the brandy still in his hand, but I need the odds anyway.”
You slapped a hand over your mouth to keep from laughing. Spencer’s eyes went wide, then narrowed, then he slowly—very slowly—pulled out of you and reached for his pants.
“I’m—uh—give me two minutes!” Spencer called, voice cracking like a damn teenager. You shoved him off with a panicked squeak. He caught himself on the coffee table, grinning like a lunatic.
You scrambled to fix your dress. He tried to tuck in his shirt.
“I swear he has a sixth sense,” you said, cheeks still flushed.
Spencer exhaled through a laugh, brushing his fingers over your thigh, then your waist, lingering like he didn’t want to stop touching you.
“This thing between us…” you started, hesitant.
He looked at you, all trace of laughter gone. “I know,” he said softly. “It’s not nothing.”
You nodded, throat tight. “But it can’t be something.”
His jaw flexed. “Not yet.”
You looked at each other for a long time. Words unsaid crackled in the air. This was dangerous. It had been dangerous from the beginning. But now it was more than just lust in conference rooms and stolen moments in hotel elevators.
You weren’t sure what it was becoming. But you knew it wasn’t casual anymore.
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a/n: FBI stands for Fucking Barely Incognito
⋆•★⋆ MASTERLIST ⋆★•⋆
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hhaechansmoless · 4 months ago
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LIGHTS OUT PT.1
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pairing: f1driver!haechan x PRmanager!femreader
genre: fluff, angst, romance
description: Part of the Beyond The Grid series. Haechan, bold, aggressive and unrelenting, is back after a narrowly missed opportunity to become the world champion in 2024. This time, he's set his sight on making it all the way to the top. You, as his newly appointed PR representative, are assigned with the task of keeping up with a world of high stakes, unpredictable twists and well, him.
warnings: strong language, stressful situations, descriptions of car crashes and physical exhaustion, slowburn, honestly quite f1 heavy
w/c: part 1 - 17.8k part 2 - 15.8k
glossary taglist
a/n: its here after so long cries. I loved writing this so much!! it's heavy on the f1 technicalities and races and stuff so I hope I've done justice to that. So excited for this season to start (not a red bull fan so in no way am I manifesting max 5th but !!! haechan <3). The number of tabs and informatory articles and vids I watched to make this as authentic and real as possible will haunt me but I would not have it any other way. This is for all my f1 + kpop fans, but to those who are only a part of one, hopefully you will fall in love with the other. The glossary, I think, will help a lot for those who don't watch f1 so I'd suggest keeping that tab open as you read this. I truly hope you guys love this as much as I do! comments and reblogs are always appreciated <3 (if you want to be notified for pt 2, i don't have a taglist yet so u can just write a comment/dm/ask!)
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BAHRAIN, PRE-SEASON TESTING, DAY-1
 February 26th
Well, that Mercedes is fast on the straights, Haechan thinks as he swoops into the slipstream. The heat is already getting to him. He’s sure he had asked for the evening time slot. Maybe he’ll talk with his engineer about this as soon as he gets out of this godforsaken car. To be fair, it isn’t godforsaken, not really. In fact he has an inkling that it’s far from that as he watches his delta on the screen blink green— faster than his last lap— but nowhere near the times posted by Mercedes and Ferrari. 
“Am I good to overtake?” Haechan speaks into his radio.
“Let’s take it easy. No need to exert too much Haechan. Sector 1 and 2 look good, let’s shave a tenth off in sector 3 and we’ll box to check the metrics.”
Three laps later and fifteen minutes to lunch, the roar of the engine grows louder as the RB21 pulls off the main straight and into the pit lane. He comes to a stop and the mechanics swarm the car, taking off its wheels and pushing it into the garage. Haechan climbs out of the cockpit removing his navy blue helmet and balaclava, hair ruffled up. You think of walking over to him. You really need to introduce yourself and inform him about the media before he heads over to lunch, but for the moment you stay back, eyeing him. 
He looks pissed and it’s definitely the sandbagging. That’ll be one question the journalists will definitely ask and Haechan cannot respond in the way you think he will now. Helmet still in hand he walks over to the pitwall to discuss with his engineers. You look around his side of the garage and everyone looks drained. It’s been a long day and Haechan has had quite a lot of feedback on the car, which is good, you suppose. But the team is tired and it’s obvious that they long for the break before the grind starts again with his teammate.
Haechan and his senior race engineer walk back into the garage and you overhear a part of their conversation as you pick up your work phone and your small notepad before trailing slightly behind them.
“At least Mercedes remembers how to build a car again,” His engineer tries to lighten him up, “Don’t worry, our simulations predict our raw times will be faster anyways.”
Haechan mutters something and finally sets his helmet down on a desk next to his car. You take this moment to walk up to him.
“Hello. It’s time to go to the media pen.” You smile slightly as he turns around to look at you for a second before nodding and following you out. 
“The media will definitely ask about the comparatively slow pace. You should probably-”
“I mean, why would they even ask about pace during testing, really?” He interjects, and you realize the bite of irritation is still present.
“Look, they’re not looking for the truth, they’re just looking for attention grabbing headlines. You don’t have to give them this energy. Play it cool please, it really matters what you say in there.”
Now you think he’s annoyed with you as well, as he finally tilts his head to look at you, “So what do I say?”
“You’re supposed to look like you know something they don’t. Keep it simple, confident, and let them wonder. Say something like…” You glance at your notes and repeat your carefully crafted line:  “‘Testing is about data, not lap times. We’re happy with the direction we’re heading in, the team is constantly making improvements, and the real test will be race day.’”
You come to a halt outside the pen and stare at him. For a moment he seems to want to push back, but to your good luck he sighs, “All right, I’ll play along this once. Get your mic ready Ms….” He trails off , already ahead of you, “Wait, who are you again?” Haechan looks over his shoulder and you shake your head. 
You exhale, “Your new PR rep.” But he’s already gone and you scramble for your phone to record him as you push past others to make your way to the journalist he’s talking to.
God may the whole season not be this way.
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AUSTRALIA, ALBERT PARK GRAND PRIX CIRCUIT
Thursday, Media day March 13th
It’s a pleasant day, Haechan thinks as he steps out of his motorhome. A little too early in the morning but pleasant nonetheless. Johnny, his personal trainer, closes the door behind him, shutting out the chilly air from the air conditioning inside. 
“So, what’s the plan for today?” Johnny whistles, swinging an arm around Haechan’s shoulders.
Haechan shrugs, “Same old, to the hospitality and then I think I have a meeting with the engineers before media duties start.”
Johnny watches as Haechan taps his ID against the scanner at the entrance, the soft beep barely audible over the sudden clicks of cameras. A few photographers are stationed near the barricades, lenses focused on the driver as he enters the paddock. He watches as Haechan subtly straightens his back, unconsciously adjusting the collar of his polo.
“Smile a little man,” Johnny teases, “Don’t want them thinking you already regret your choices.” 
Haechan scoffs, shaking his head but it works as the corners of his lips lift up slightly. “Would be surprised if they haven’t already decided that, seeing our testing results.”
“Oh yeah, about that. I heard you’ve got a new P.R manager now. Seems like the team’s going about a different plan for this season eh?”
“Can’t say I like it very much,” He sighs, “And yeah, I met her during testing. Think I have a meeting with her team as well. God help me escape from the bullshit I’m about to say in the press con today.”
“She’s that bad?” Johnny raises his brows.
“No, I mean. The team strategies aren’t up to her, are they?” Haechan breathes out as they make their way to the Red Bull hospitality centre. Climbing up the stairs, he notices the Mercedes hospitality beside theirs, Kim Doyoung standing outside conversing with his manager. He catches Haechan’s gaze and waves making Haechan walk over to him. Johnny waits outside, pulling out his phone to make sure Haechan’s practice sessions are scheduled timely for the weekend. 
Haechan jogs back over in a minute or two. Johnny holds the door open when the younger speaks again, “It’s just that, I know the car is quicker than we expected and a lot better than last year but at the same time, I haven’t driven at my full potential yet and it’s giving me a hard time seeing where I stand.”
Johnny can’t do anything but nod in sympathy.
“And honestly? Doyoung seems quite confident. He’s more laid-back than usual, you know? Was joking around with me. It’s been a while since I’ve seen their team like that.”
“Well,” Johnny laughs, softly pushing him into his meeting room, “Good for him, he hasn’t had a car worthy of his potential for a good few seasons, has he?”
Haechan hums, slightly unconvinced and cautious before he shakes himself out of it, “Where will you be until I get out?” He shoves his hands in the pockets of his hoodie as he turns around to face Johnny.
“I don’t know. I was thinking of making new friends. Maybe that new PR lady of yours if she’s around.”
“Now, coming to you Haechan. Last season was quite a close one, I mean, you managed to keep the fight up till the last 4 races. At a point I’m sure we all thought we’d see a new world champion in 2024. How do you suppose this season will turn out? Do you think that you have a car that can challenge for the drivers championship again? Where do you think the improvements have been made compared to last year?”
“Well, improvements have been made everywhere… That’s the aim, is it not? Last year, towards the end it got a bit hard. We had issues with the floor and made a few strategic mistakes. But I think over the winter break, the team’s been working really hard and we’re confident that we can put up the fight this season too.”
“You have a new teammate this season, Lee Jeno. How will the team dynamics work out between you two? Do you think that, apart from other teams, your teammate could be your biggest opponent?”
“Yeah, Jeno’s done a great job at VCARB so it’s nice to see him here now. I mean, we’re both here to push the team forward. At the end of the day, we both want the same thing. If he’s my biggest opponent then that just means we’re doing something right.” Haechan laughs.
As the moderator moves on, Haechan zones out, fingers unconsciously tracing the outline of the two bulls on the can in his hand. He’s pulled back in when he's mentioned in one of Mark's questions.
“Towards mid season last year it was almost a three way championship fight. It was quite exciting to see Haechan and you pit against each other. After all, we've been seeing the two of you compete with each other in all the junior series too. How did it feel to reach that high rung with a friend?”
“We spoke about it during that time, actually.” Mark grins, “We've basically grown up competing with each other but to do it in F1 really felt like we were close to making it. I look forward to it this year too.”
“We should bet on it!” Haechan winks at Mark making the other drivers and the reporters chuckle, “It's about time one of us gets used to losing, you don't think?” 
Walking out of the press room, Haechan is slightly surprised when you appear right beside him.
“How'd I do?”
“Not bad,” you answer absentmindedly, scrolling through your notes, “The question about Jeno, you handled very well. The one about Mark, though? I think it's a very easy opportunity for these journalists to twist your words.”
“I was just joking, he knows that.”
You hum, “He does, but really, these people are out for drama and you just gave them a nice headline.”
Haechan scoffs, “They should thank me then, don't you think? First media day of the year and it's probably the most interesting thing they've heard.” 
He turns towards you when you laugh. “See! you do think that I'm funny.”
“I met your trainer this morning, by the way. Don't know why he suddenly came up to me. But you have some blind fold challenge to do for the F1 youtube channel and he's told me to tell you to be careful. Do not bump into anything, please. And try to be yourself there, I guess.”
“Woah, I've never had a PR person tell me that before. You're kind of nice, ____.”
“And you remember my name. We’re both making progress, I suppose.” You've come outside now and there are significantly more photographers than there were when you first came. 
Haechan, slightly ahead of you, stops and turns around, walking backwards. “Hey! That was once and you didn't even introduce yourself to me.” 
“Didn't have the time,” You shrug, “All the best. The challenge is being filmed near Alpine’s hospitality. You're doing it with Lee Chan. I have to head back to the hospitality for a second but I'll be there by the time you're done.”
Sunday, Race Day March 16th
The red bull garage looks quite empty without the cars and the mechanics. The pit walls are a bit too high for you to see from the garage but you’re sure they must be setting the car up on track. This isn’t your first gig in the PR industry, but it’s your first time in this sport and you can’t help but observe the remaining strategists and engineers in awe as they move around with calculated aim. There’s still about 15 minutes until the race begins but the air crackles with excitement and expectations. 
You hear clattering behind you and panic for a second. You did make sure to stand in a corner where you wouldn’t be in the way of anyone’s job. But upon turning, you notice that it’s Haechan who accidentally drops his phone.
You still as he catches your eye. What are you supposed to do at moments like this? You don’t have any important information to tell him, but you feel like you’re meant to be saying something. Would he want you to speak to him at such a crucial time? You stride over anyways.
Haechan slides his headphones off when he sees you approaching.
“Hey. Aren’t you supposed to be outside for the national anthem soon?” You quip.
He checks the time on his lockscreen and grimaces, “Well, yeah, shit. Don’t want to get fined on the first race, do I?”
You purse your lips before nodding. He takes his headphones off and thrusts them in your hands. You stare back at him, confused. 
“Give them to Johnny when he gets here, please. My phone too. He’ll be here in a few minutes, I suppose. I need to go.” He points at the garage door. You nod again, slowly, and he does too before inching towards the pitlane.
“Hey!” You yell as he’s almost out the door, making him turn around, “Win this thing, yeah? I’d rather hear questions about that than listen to another round of ‘holding back’ narratives.” You think you might pray for him, although you doubt he needs it.
Haechan simply winks.
When the helmet goes on and the overalls zip up, Haechan becomes an entirely different person. The transformation is almost immediate — he’s focused, determined. On the screen inside the garage, you’re a little stunned at how his eyes, the only visible part of him, are incredibly hard and intense. His gloved hand pushes the visor down and he steps into his car. The crew around him is finalizing the last of their car checks and as they move away and back into the pitlane, the crowd almost quietens for a moment.
“Radio check.” Haechan hears through his earpiece and the final step is complete. Like clockwork, he feels his mind clearing up, revising last minute strategy. He fires up his engine, hears the muffled roar of the others around him.
“Loud and clear,” He responds. The green lights come on near the starting line.
“Formation lap begins.”
The next two minutes go by in a flash, and before he knows it, Haechan lines up to the second grid position. To his right and slightly ahead at P1 is Choi Seungcheol’s Ferrari. Behind and next to him are the Mercs of Joshua Hong and Kim Doyoung. He knows that Seungcheol is already being considered for the season’s favourite before it even starts. With the insane qualifying lap that he put up yesterday to the driver’s championship wins from the last four seasons, it’s obvious that he’s the one Haechan should be aiming for.
The grid falls silent as the last car positions itself. Haechan’s hands tighten around his steering wheel. The first red light flicks on.
One…two…three…four…five.
He's always thought that the following two seconds before the start are the most cruel and crucial. The final preparation.
“And it's lights out for the first time in 2025, here at Albert Park circuit! Seungcheol successfully manages to keep his lead, heading into the first turn there, and OH! Haechan comes close but it is not quite enough as he slips back into 2nd position.” The commentator begins.
In the garage, the team, you notice, has already set up the tires for both drivers. The mechanics have set up chairs and are beginning to settle down, helmets on and ready for the show. You inch a little closer to the screen, eyes flying to the pitwall once to look at Haechan's race engineer already beginning to talk and check in with him.
You don't know the specifics of what goes on behind the scenes, honestly. So you can only imagine what goes on at the pitwall. 
Lap 15 comes around in no time and you hear the other cars pitting to change their tyres. Looking at the screen, you realize the Ferrari and Haechan are still out, within a second of each other but a good 5 seconds ahead of Doyoung’s Mercedes and Jeno’s red bull. The mechanics have been watching the fight between Doyoung and Jeno for third place, but they get up now and rush over to where the tyres have been kept, pulling them out and preparing themselves for a pitstop, Haechan’s, you assume. 
By lap 37, everything seems to be going fine for you. There hasn’t been anything notable and you’re glad for it. Haechan and Seungcheol, known for being aggressive drivers, are surprisingly keeping in clean, which means less awkward questions for Haechan to deal with. It’s only the beginning of the season, you think. People won’t question him too much if he doesn’t win. Right now, you know there isn’t much that can happen to prevent him from getting on the podium. 
By lap 37,  things are not going fine for Haechan. He was supposed to get ahead of the Ferrari in the first ten laps, but God, Seungcheol is making it hard. Three times now, he’s tried to overtake him on turn 13 but every single time he comes up short. 
“How are the tires feeling, Haechan?” His engineer asks.
“Fine, I think I can go for a few more laps.” He’s approaching turn 13 again, “What’s the gap ahead?”
“0.96s, DRS has been enabled.” 
Haechan decides against using DRS and instead goes off the race line, making the Ferrari move outwards to block him. He fakes out, hoping to catch the inside of the turn, but it’s tight and Seungcheol is quicker in blocking him again. 
For a split second, Haechan feels the rear end of the car shifting and he instantly steers in the opposite direction to bring it back under control. 
As they approach the pit entry, a marshal holds out a lap board. 20 more laps to go. With the way the Ferrari is going, Haechan figures he should probably pit before for the undercut . But just as he thinks that, he sees Seungcheol swerving into the pitlane. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Seungcheol's in the pits, when do you think you’ll come in?” His engineer’s voice cuts him off.
“What tyres is he on?”
“He’s going on a pair of mediums. It might be close at the exit, watch out.”  Haechan looks into his rear view mirror and sees the Ferrari exiting the pitlane. Haechan leads the race now, but Seunghcheol is right on his tail, not more than a second behind.
Haechan adjusts his grip on the steering wheel as he nears turn 3. Don’t want to lose the position as soon as we get it, do we Haechan?
“Taking the inside line is a bit of a risk, Ferrari 0.7 behind you.” 
Turn 4 is close. Too close. If he gives Seungcheol the outside line now, it’s over. All he’s left with now, is coming up with a good defence. 
The RB21 is really quick in the corners, the audience realises as he accelerates even while approaching a turn, trying to maximise the gap before the heavy braking. Haechan slams the brakes at the last moment possible. The Ferrari is close now, almost at par with his rear wheels. For a moment, it feels like he’s got him now, but Haechan gets on the throttle early, trusting the Red Bull’s grip to carry him through. Inside line, now.
He asks for the gap again. It’s too small, far too small for his comfort but it isn’t like he’s left with any choices. On turn 4, again the Ferrari gains on him. 
You think it's a sight to see, honestly. Two cars, almost parallel to each other, who’ll come out as the winner? You hope they don’t touch, that nothing bad happens.
Haechan thinks that he’s- Fuck there’s no time for thinking really, PUSH. His legs are starting to hurt from all the accelerating and braking but he grunts through jaw clenched tight beneath his helmet. He doesn’t have time to think about fatigue, about the burn creeping up his calves. Seungcheol is right there, matching him move for move, waiting for the slightest opening.
Turn 5 is fast. Barely a turn at all if you’re brave enough. Haechan keeps his foot planted, resisting the instinct to lift, trusting the downforce to hold him steady. The car twitches slightly under him, tires screaming against the asphalt, but he holds firm.
Seungcheol does the same.
Shit.
“Gap?”
“0.4. He’s still in DRS range.”
Of course he is.
The DRS detection line is approaching fast. If Seungcheol stays within a second, he’ll have a straight-line speed advantage down the next stretch. Haechan makes a split-second decision—move slightly off the racing line, force the Ferrari into dirty air, disrupt his momentum.
It works. Seungcheol hesitates for just a fraction of a second, and that’s all Haechan needs.
He launches out of Turn 6, flat-out now, heart hammering as he glances at his mirrors. The Ferrari is still there, still menacingly close, but Haechan has bought himself a few more meters of breathing room.
“Choi has a 5 second time penalty for speeding in the pitlane. Well done, gap is 0.8.”
Haechan almost sighs in relief. A five second penalty is great — if he manages to keep him behind the entire time — that is.
“Where is Jeno?” He asks, maybe there could be a Red Bull 1-2 for the first race of the season, after all.
“Jeno is 3.4 behind you.” Holy shit, it could actually happen.
The next 6 laps are uneventful, but Haechan’s thinking hard now. He’s just lapped a Sauber and there’s going to be more cars in front now, less clean air. 
“Who has the fastest lap?”
“It’s Choi, he did a 1.24.” 
“I’m coming in now, put me on softs.”
This time you turn your head away from the screen and stretch your neck to see outside. You can’t see him, not with the twenty something mechanics surrounding his car, but the pit stop is quick, so quick. One moment he’s here, the next he’s not. The screen shows you he’s on the softs. There are ten more laps to go. It’s looking great.
“Choi is in the pits to serve his penalty.”
Haechan’s a bit confused when he hears this. Why risk losing more positions. But he doesn’t have the time to worry about Ferrari’s strategies when the damn Aston Martin in front of him isn’t giving way. He looks to the side to see the blue flags flashing, so really-
“What the fuck is he doing?” Haechan complains over the radio, voice sharp with frustration. The Aston Martin should’ve moved by now, but it’s still hugging the racing line, forcing him to adjust his approach into turn 5.
“Blue flags are out. He needs to move,” his race engineer reassures him, but Haechan can hear the slight edge in his voice too.
“I know he needs to move—”
The Aston finally veers slightly right, but not enough. Haechan has to lift off the throttle to avoid contact, losing precious tenths in the process.
“Fucking finally,” he mutters as he sweeps past, but the damage is done.
“Gap to Choi?”
“4.2. You lost a few tenths there.”
He exhales sharply. It could be worse.
Nine laps to go. His tires feel good, grippier. The car is responding well, but he needs to make up time.
He flicks the mode switch on his steering wheel. A little more power.
“Going for the fastest lap,” he announces, fingers tightening over the wheel.
He barely hears his engineer’s response as he throws the car into turn 9, carrying more speed than before. The speedometer climbs—290, 295, 300 km/h—before he slams the brakes hard into turn 11, trusting the downforce to do its job. 
 Less than a minute from then, you see Haechan’s name on the screen flash purple. Fastest lap 1.23.056
The next two laps go by in a blur, his focus razor-sharp. Each turn, each braking zone - perfect. His engineer is giving him updates, but he barely registers them.
Then—
“Yellow flag, turn 6. Stay sharp.”
Haechan’s heartbeat spikes.
“What happened?”
“Looks like a Williams spun out. Shouldn’t be a safety car.”
He presses his lips together. Good. A safety car would ruin everything.
Five laps to go.
His eyes flick to the steering wheel display. His lap time delta is in the green. He can get the fastest lap again.
“Mode push?”
“Not required. You already have the fastest lap.”
He ignores his engineer.
Into turn 9, he keeps his foot flat on the throttle. The RB21 flies. He brakes late into turn 11, the car dancing on the edge of grip, but it sticks. His heart pounds as he floors it again.
Purple sector two.
With three more laps to go, he’s stopped seeing the Ferrari in his mirror, instead, now it’s the other Red Bull. 
“Gap to Jeno?” He’s a little excited now. It’s been a while since he’s had to compete with a teammate.
“1.4. Keep it clean, please.” 
So Jeno’s out of DRS. Haechan isn’t too worried. His tyres still feel great and Jeno’s tyres won’t be doing too good as he’s back on the hards. But just to be safe, just to get that gap, he goes a little faster.
Back in the garage, the Red Bull team are at the edge of their seats. The first race of the season and both their drivers are on the podium. You think everyone’s hoping they don’t crash into each other, mess up on the last few laps.
On track, Haechan hears his engineer through his earpiece, interrupting a few seconds of silence, “Fastest sector 1. You’re doing good. Gap to Jeno is 3.2. 
He doesn’t respond. There’s no room for distractions now. Just focus.
He can see the line in the distance. The finish line.
“Two laps left. You’re 3.0 ahead of Jeno.”
The pressure’s mounting, but Haechan blocks it out. There’s no way he’s letting the lead slip now. He can almost feel the podium beneath his feet, the thrill of a victory, the rush that’s been missing since last season.
“Careful with the rear. Stay focused.” His engineer’s voice is calm, but it’s clear he’s watching closely. The car’s rear is loose, and Haechan can feel it through his grip, but he steadies himself, resisting the urge to back off.
The final lap.
Haechan’s heartbeat echoes in his ears as he sees the final lap board waved. He’s so close now. He can almost taste the champagne.
Haechan is cruising through, and you can’t see his car on screen anymore. You suppose they’ll show him again when he nears the finish line but right now, Seunghcheol isn’t far from Jeno. And with his older tyres, Jeno seems to be struggling. You aren’t really concerned. If this lap goes well, which it definitely will, your job for tonight might just be over. There won’t be questions that are too awkward, maybe other than the slightly rude remark Haechan made behind the Aston. But it was the Aston’s fault, so he won’t be on the receiving end of criticism.
You’re snapped from your momentary distraction when you see the mechanics cheering, jumping off their stairs and running to the pit wall. You smile, slowly moving a bit closer. They’re holding onto the grills as Haechan zooms past the chequered flag.
Must be great to watch both their driver’s finish well, You think as you back off. You’re going to need your ID pass for the media pen and you’ve left it in the hospitality. You think you might have to brush up some of the lines you’ve written down too. You won’t have much time before the post-race conference.
Haechan can hear the roar of the crowd as he crosses the finish line. He eases off the throttle, the adrenaline still coursing through him as he begins his cool-down lap. He lets out a little laugh, hearing the congratulations through the radio. First race, first win of the season. It feels great.
Behind him, he sees Jeno’s car and slows down a little more to let him catch up. Through the radio he can hear the cheers erupting in the garage. He looks to his right and shoots a thumbs up to Jeno, who returns the gesture.
The pit crew awaits. The podium awaits. He’s back.
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JAPAN, SUZUKA INTERNATIONAL RACING COURSE
Tuesday April 1st
Tucked away on a quiet street, the ramen shop is smaller than you expected. You hesitate at the entrance, glancing at your phone to double-check the address before stepping inside. The air is thick with the scent of broth and garlic, warmth settling over you as you take in the cramped space. 
The restaurant, if you could call it one, is so small that it only houses about four two-seater tables. The person at the counter asks you if you'd be alright with sharing a table with someone and you agree. She leads you to a man in a bucket hat and a leather jacket, head bent as he scrolls on his phone and when she asks him if he'd be alright with it, he looks up. And God, are you surprised?
“Haechan?”
He stares at you for a moment, mouth hanging open before he nods at the waitress and gestures to you to sit down. You're still a bit confused as you shrug off your coat and drape it across the back of your chair. You tell the waitress your order before finally turning to Haechan who smiles politely, albeit a little flustered.
You exhale loudly, “Well, it is a bit awkward outside of work, isn't it?” 
Haechan agrees and laughs softly, “How come you're here though?”
“I had a friend recommend it to me. She's been here before a few times and said she really liked it,” You scrunch your nose,  “What about you? It doesn't really seem like the place where you'd bump into an F1 driver, eh?”
“Me too. I mean, a friend recommended it to me the first time I visited Suzuka and I've been coming here ever since.”
You hum in response, letting your gaze wander around the tiny shop. Every table is occupied, pairs of diners hunched over steaming bowls, the quiet murmur of conversation blending with the occasional clatter of chopsticks against ceramic. The air is thick with the rich, savory scent of garlic and simmering broth, making your stomach stir in anticipation. Across from the open kitchen, two small windows are propped ajar, letting in a crisp evening breeze that carries the faint sounds of the street outside.
Haechan watches you take it all in. It feels a little weird to not have you talking to him all the time about his schedule or about what he has to say about certain things. It's also weird to see you not on a call, talking to the media or press. He's never observed you, really, and it's only now that he realizes you might be around his age.
His order comes first and you ‘ooh’ at the way steam rises off the soup in the bowl. Haechan turns to take off his jacket. His left hand is out and as he struggles a little to get the right one out, he meets your eyes and you both look away, slightly embarrassed.
“Forgive me for being a spoilsport, but are you really allowed to be eating ramen?” You ask, narrowing your eyes at him.
Haechan is in the middle of taking his third bite as he stoops, holding his chopsticks mid-air, “I'm…not.” He tilts his head before eating.
You raise an eyebrow.
“You know, I think… in order to do your job, which includes protecting my reputation, you should probably not spill about this encounter to Johnny.”
You scoff, shaking your head at him, making him smile before going back to his bowl.
“Did you first come here when you debuted?” You ask after a minute or two of silence.
Haechan nods, “The first time I came, my friend actually brought me here because I was feeling quite depressed after the race,” He chuckles to himself.
“I remember,” you say, “You crashed on the last lap, didn't you? It would've been the first podium of your career if you hadn't.”
You can see the astonishment in his eyes as you continue, “If you ask me, it was an insane thing to do, almost get on the podium while driving an alpha tauri.”
“How do you remember that?”
“Well- I don't exactly remember it, but I had to look you up thoroughly before I started my job, you know?” You joke.
“Hmm,” He plays along, “What else do you know about me, miss PR?” 
You lean in a little, like you're about to tell him a secret, “Reports say you have a dog back at home that does not like you. At all.”
Haechan blinks, caught off guard, “Hold on- What?”
You nod solemnly, slumping back into your chair, “Apparently, he ignores you when you come home and only listens to your mum. And uses you for treats. That’s a real betrayal if you ask me. I’ll get the article down as soon as I can. We can’t have you looking like someone who dogs hate,” You think out loud to yourself, suppressing a grin, “No, that would be real bad media attention.”
Haechan groans, setting his chopsticks down, “I can’t believe that made it onto your research.”
“What can I say? I’m quite thorough with my work.”
He shakes his head, but there’s a small smile tugging at his lips. “For the record, he does like me. He just… has a weird way of showing it.”
“Sure,” You shrug, eyes drifting towards the bowl the waitress sets down in front of you. “Ohh, that looks so good.”
The two of you settle into silence as Haechan focuses on finishing his bowl while you only begin digging into yours. It’s different from when he sees you in the paddock. Usually, you’re always behind him or beside him, holding out your phone to record what he says or always note taking and calling the media. You’re the epitome of a professional, so he thinks that right now, you’re different too. Much more relaxed and less uptight about everything. He’s gotten a bit used to seeing you all polished, always in control, moving from one task to another but here, you’re just.. you?
The thought lingers for a second before he pushes it away. He glances at you and almost laughs at the way you’re trying to push your bangs away while holding your chopsticks. You look up and mumble a small ‘what?’.
“Are you always like this?” 
“Hey!” You sound a little offended, “I can have a lot of fun outside of work, how would you know?”
“Well, I can imagine.” Haechan laughs, “Off work, professionalism out the door, am I right?”
“Yes, yes, you are. I don’t really care who you are right now,” You sigh before noticing that he’s done with his food, “Aren’t you going to leave?”
Haechan hesitates, “Nah, it’s getting late. I’ll leave with you. Aren’t we headed to the same place anyways?”
You nod slowly, “Don’t you have anywhere else to go? I don’t want to hold you back.”
“I come here every year. After a point there’s not going to be much to see. Unless of course, you have plans to go somewhere.”
“Not that I know of,” You purse your lips, “By the way, I heard you landed here yesterday. How come you’re so early?”
“I flew to Seoul from China and stayed there for a week, but my family are going on vacation this week so I thought, why not come visit one of my friends here, who’d want to see me instead of lazing around at home like the pathetic, uninvited, firstborn son that I am.” He dramatically sighs.
You breathe out a laugh, “You’d probably like to have a home grand prix, wouldn’t you?”
“Obviously,” Haechan rests his elbows on the table, looking out of the window, “If you win, that is. Otherwise it's honestly a shit load of pressure. There’s always going to be the stress of underperforming in front of your home crowd. But the support would be nice. It’s great in Austria too, you know, as Red Bull’s home race but that’s what makes it so important. Doing well in front of a home crowd is like the best feeling in the world.”
You nod thoughtfully, absorbing his words as you continue eating. “I get that,” you say. “The crowd’s energy level is just different, I suppose.”
Haechan leans back in his chair, looking relaxed now that the weight of the conversation has lightened. “Exactly. It’s like they’re all there for you. Even when everything’s falling apart on the track, their support is like fuel. You could be in the middle of a mess and they’ll still cheer for you like you’re winning.”
You smile at the way he says it, not expecting him to be so genuine about it. “Must feel nice to have that.”
He shrugs but there’s a faint smile playing at the corners of his lips. “I guess. It’s also a lot to live up to.”
Haechan is in the middle of telling you about his first race in Monaco when the waitress who was serving you walks up to you two.
Sheepishly, she asks, “Excuse me, I hope you guys enjoyed your meal, but we’ve got a bit of a line outside. If you’re done, would you mind giving up your seats? I’m so sorry!”
You and Haechan look at each other in embarrassed surprise, and quickly get up, gathering your coats and belongings. You thank the girl (who meekly apologizes again) and hurry out of the shop.
Outside, in a slightly chilly street, Haechan emerges from behind you and stares at you for a second before bursting into laughter. You, still in your flustered state, take a few moments before joining him.
“I’ve never,” He manages in between, “been asked to get out of a restaurant, that too, so politely!”
“I don’t think she recognized you, actually,” You grin, “If she had, then you’d force me to work a bit overtime. Imagine me having to call up journalists and tell them, ‘No guys, Haechan is a very considerate person, it happens to the best of us. He was incredibly sorry.’”
He shudders before tilting his head in the direction of his hotel. “Let’s go?”
“Mister millionaire, I need to go in the other direction.”
Haechan’s lips form an ‘o’ before he nods,  “Well, see you on Thursday then!”
You sigh, “You bet. Please show up early, you have a lot of things to do.”
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AUSTRIA, RED BULL RING
Thursday, Media day June 26th
Haechan doesn’t really mind these games. In fact, he prefers them to the ones that he does with Jeno. No offence to him really, but he thinks Jeno’s a bit unfunny. When he says bye to you before entering the filming room, he’s more than happy to see the VCARB guys. Vernon’s humor is quite deadpan, which Haechan can’t say he understands most of the time, but he has a hilarious laugh, like a flock of geese and Haechan laughs more because of that. And Chenle. Haechan cannot get started with this guy. He once trained Chenle when he was still in F2 and in that one week, he’d found another slightly louder version of himself, albeit a little less sarcastic and more innocent.
Haechan is however surprised to see the reserve drivers and the F1 academy drivers. Had you forgotten to mention it, or was he not paying attention? Well, shit. He thinks. He was going to give it his all, get into his competitive spirit but now he’s got to put up his experienced senior face. He greets them before sitting down with Chenle. They wait for the camera team to set up the room before they’re divided into teams.
Chenle and Haechan are put in the same team, but Jeno complains, saying that they’d both be too strong together. So with a dramatic sigh, Haechan lets him go, taking Vernon with him. As the admin sets up the question placards, Haechan looks back at his team and is satisfied. He’s got Vernon, who might(?) be good at games. Sion, their reserve driver is on his team and another driver from the F1 Academy. She looks smart, Haechan thinks as he turns back around. 
“Alright, guys,” the challenge host says, pulling the group’s attention back to the screen. “For the first game, we’ll be testing your knowledge of your fellow drivers. We’ve got a series of close-up images of drivers’ eyes. Your task is simple: guess which driver each pair of eyes belongs to. Are you ready?”
The group cheers out in response. The first photo flashes on the screen.
Haechan has his hand near the buzzer already, but he hesitates. The other team hits theirs.
“Jisung?” Chenle’s a bit unsure too.
“1 point to team 2,” The host nods, surprising everyone. 
“How did you guess that?” Jeno stares, making the younger one shrug, “I don’t know, the thin eyebrows?”
The next one comes up and Haechan instantly answers, “That’s Mark. Like. For. Sure.”
buzz. “Kim Doyoung.”
The rounds continue with some lighthearted bickering. Jeno's team gets a couple of points here and there, but Haechan’s team remains in the lead. The last challenge turns out to be ‘Guess who said this.’ Haechan’s a bit stumped, he doesn’t know these too well and he doesn’t think the younger drivers do either. Vernon nods confidently, though, so maybe they could win this thing.
“Okay,” The host sighs, “Starting off easy.”
“I’m going to touch Doyoung’s rear wing.”
Sion hits the buzzer before Haechan can, surprising him. “That was Haechan, right?”
Haechan nods, impressed as the host increases their points.
“The engine feels good, much slower than before. Amazing.” It brings a laugh out of everyone before the F1A driver from Jeno’s team answers, “Alonso.”
“Okay, last question guys,” The host announces, “Assuming team 1 can finish this off, that is.”
“Is there even a point for that?” 
“I’ve heard this before,” Haechan hears Chenle mumble from the other side. He looks at his team, shrugging to say that he does not know the answer sadly. 
Vernon seems to be lost in thought, “This one’s old, it was either Hamilton or Seungcheol. Shit, I can’t remember which one though.” The room is weirdly silent and Vernon seems to notice, lowering his voice, “It was after a disappointing race… probably a p10 or p11 finish. Doesn’t it seem like something Seungcheol would say?”
“You would know,” Haechan encourages, “Go for it.”
Vernon presses the buzzer. The host waits.
“It’s Choi Seungcheol, isn’t it?”
“Are you asking me?” The host jokes.
Vernon shakes his head, “No. It’s Seungcheol.”
“And you are right!” The host smiles, making Haechan’s team erupt into cheers.
After wrapping up the shoot, the entire Red Bull family gathers outside the hospitality to take a group photo. Haechan remembers this weekend has the F2 and F1A races too and wishes the junior drivers good luck before heading back into the hospitality.
Haechan doesn't think you'll be in any of the meeting rooms, nor does he think you've headed back to the hotel. You're usually there next to him after all his schedules end, so he's perplexed to find you absent. He doesn't need to look for you, really, because his media activities for the day are over which means you've got no business with him for today. He should head over to the garage, see what the engineers are doing, poke around there, but instead he finds himself walking into the cafeteria. 
Haechan is relieved to see you there, getting back to your seat with a cup of espresso in your hand while the other holds onto your phone as you speak. He's sure you'll end up spilling your coffee and jogs towards you, taking the cup from your hands.
You look at him quizzically before returning to your conversation, “Yes, I understand it's your job but you need to understand, this is my job too. Your headline was just purely misleading. I mean, all he said was that the other driver was being slow and hindering everyone else. Really, there's nothing going on that is as malicious as you make it seem!” You pull the chair harshly before sitting down. 
Haechan just stands there with your coffee still in hand, not sure what to do.
“Yes, yes. I'm not asking you to take it down, just edit it a little better. You can't twist words like that, you know? Even if it is your job, Sir.” You grit out before smiling like the journalist can see you, “Yes, we appreciate it. Thank you and have a great day.”
You think about slamming your phone down. But there are others in the cafeteria, so you control yourself. Reminding yourself to unclench your jaw, you look around for your coffee before you see Haechan standing next to you, staring like a kid that's been yelled at.
“Oh, I'm sorry,” You sigh before taking the cup from him, “Aren't you supposed to be back at the motorhome? I'm done, so you can escape from me for at least the remaining half of the day.” You try to joke, but he looks at you like a kicked puppy.
“Hey, I'm sorry for… whatever conversation you just had. I'll try to control what I say, I guess.”
“No it's—” Your frustration that was slithering away creeps back again, “Why would you apologize? You're allowed to say such simple stuff without being used for clout and stupid headlines.”
He stays silent, and you wonder if you came off too harshly. So you try to talk a little more, make him feel a bit more comfortable, and show him that you are not mad. Where did all your professionalism go? We're still at work.
“Honestly, a lot of sports blogs do this. Most of the time it's not an issue. But this guy, this is the fourth time I'm calling him to take it down. He's so stubborn about it and the worst part is his columns have absolutely no ounce of any truth in them.”
Haechan sighs, “Thank you.”
You shrug, eyeing him, “It's just my job. How did your challenge go?”
He perks up at the mention of the games, “My team won,” Haechan grins, but it doesn't reach his eyes.
“Really, Haechan, why are you still here?” You shake your head, but you're smiling a little, so Haechan considers it a win too. 
He’s thinking of a valid answer to give you, because in reality he doesn't know either, when he sees Johnny walking in. “I was just waiting for Johnny. We have a training session. What are you going to do, since I'm done for the day?” He abruptly stands up.
You get up along with him, downing the remnants of your espresso, “I have other stuff to do. I need to go over that interview that you gave in the morning before it's sent over for publishing and I need to look up a few journalists that may show up tomorrow or on race day and…” You wonder why you're telling him all this, “I have a lot of things to do, Haechan. Have fun at training, I'll see you tomorrow after the practice sessions.”
Friday, post FP2 June 27th
The walk to the media pen is quieter than usual. Haechan’s strides are long and fast, and there’s a stiffness to him that you can’t ignore. His hands are tucked into his pockets and his gaze flicks down to the ground every now and then.
He hasn’t said much since stepping out of the car. You were silent as he listened to the debrief, as he nodded along, as he left without saying much, and you are silent now too as the two of you walk up to a sky sports interviewer. 
Jeno is already up first, finishing off his interview. He sounds relaxed and confident. 
"Yeah, I think the car felt great today. We found a good rhythm early on, and I’m happy with where we’re at, heading into tomorrow. Obviously, there's still a lot of work to do, but the team’s done an amazing job."
Haechan exhales sharply, looking away as you gesture for him to step forward. 
“Remember, it’s just Friday. Just practice.” You murmur to him. He gives you the slightest nod before facing the reporter. The first question comes immediately.
“Haechan, you were second fastest in today’s practice, but it looked like you were struggling a little more than your teammate. What happened?”
He takes a beat to answer, “Yeah, I think- well, obviously, Jeno’s had a great session and it’s looking good for the team this weekend. For me, I think there’s a lot more pace left on the table, hopefully we’ll look at the data and try to put it all together for tomorrow.”
“The McLarens seemed to be struggling with their pace in both practice sessions today. Do you think your situation might be similar?”
Again, a pause. “I wouldn’t say it’s a huge concern. The tyre degradation did seem a little unpredictable today, so I was having to manage more than I would’ve liked to. It’s not ideal, but there’s time to fix it before qualifying and the race itself.”
“Last question, Haechan. Do you think with Jeno topping both sessions today, does this shift the dynamic inside the team at all? Is there an added pressure that you feel, heading into this home grand prix.”
The question lingers in the air for a second longer than it should have. Haechan’s expression doesn’t change much, but you see it — the brief twitch in his eyebrow. 
“I mean, from the team perspective, it’s great for us. It’s the home race for the team and both of us are hopefully going to be up front. Obviously, both of us want to be ahead of each other. Today just wasn’t quite there for me, but we’ll see where we are tomorrow.”
He chooses his words carefully, in a way that doesn’t feel like himself. A part of yourself is proud, this was a good response, answering without really answering. But he’s clearly upset.
The interviewer thanks him, wrapping it up before Jaehyun steps up behind him. As Haechan steps back from the mic, you fall into step behind him. You have to go back to the hospitality to gather your things before you can head to your hotel, but it doesn’t feel right to leave Haechan right now. You have a feeling he has something to say.
When you’re out of the media pen, you realize it’s starting to drizzle. That can’t be too good, you suppose. A rainless weekend would be more ideal, more safer. Hopefully this weather won’t continue into tomorrow and the day after. But it’s not just the chilly weather that makes the air heavier.
“Good answers,” You say, trying to look at his downturned face.
He doesn’t reply immediately, glancing at his hands, flexing them before tucking them into his pockets again. When he does reply, Haechan’s voice comes out quieter than you’ve ever heard it.
“If I told you something, would you keep it to yourself? Not give it over or use it to— I don’t know— make me seem more humane or something when people write articles that I don’t seem to care about anything.”
You’re taken aback. It hurts you a little, but what he says is valid. Has someone done that to him before?
“I would,” You nod, “Keep it to myself, I mean.”
He kicks at the pavement, “Jeno was really quick today and it’s bothering me more than Ferrari’s pace.” That much is obvious, but it settles down on his chest in a way that he can’t shake off.
You hum in acknowledgement. This is what’s sitting with him. Not being second itself, but the gap. The fact that for the first time this season, it’s someone in the same car, who is ahead of him. You think of that night in Suzuka. All this at their team’s home race too. Of course he’s bothered.
“Tomorrow’s another day.” You remind him.
“Yes, but-”
“And if tomorrow also isn’t your day, then you have the race itself.”
He exhales, unlocking his phone to study the FP2 times once more before locking it. “How are you getting back to your hotel, by the way?”
“I think the shuttle might have already left, so maybe a taxi. I still have to go back to the hospitality.”
“The rain’s going to get heavier,” He sighs, “You might not be able to catch one.”
“I’ll wait it out,” You shrug, “You’re not heading to your motorhome?” 
“I was, but if you’re waiting it out, might as well do the same.”
You glance at him, unsure, “You don’t have to.” But you find yourself thinking that you wouldn’t mind if he does. Guess he does grow on you.
“I know.” His response is simple. He doesn’t meet your eyes and for a moment looks up at the darkening skies above, the wind is picking up, carrying the smell of damp asphalt. Haechan feels nauseous. What if the conditions are the same? You’re already struggling with the pace, Haechan. What if you fuck it up in the one race that matters the most to everyone?
The two of you are a little wet by the time you walk into the hospitality cafeteria. The paddock is quieter now, with most of the day's work being over. A few mechanics remain in the garage, chatting in low voices as they finish up for the day. Inside, the warmth is immediate and you almost sigh out of relief. The hum of the coffee machine and the gentle clattering of dishes as the kitchen staff clean up make the whole place seem too peaceful for a race weekend. You wipe away the drops of water on your team jacket at the entrance before turning to look at Haechan. He doesn’t seem to know what to do when he’s not running from meeting to garage to training to meeting at all times. 
“You can go ask a staff for something to eat, if you want. You must be hungry, no?”
He shakes his head, “I think I’ll just have a coffee.”
You shrug, “Help yourself, I need to go up to grab my things.”
Haechan doesn’t move right away, staring at the coffee machine for a long moment as if unsure what to do. Then, with a soft sigh, he pulls his hands from his pockets and walks over to the counter. He’s not really looking at anything—and you’re hit with the realization that he might be trying to not be alone with his thoughts right now.
“I won’t be long,” you add, feeling the need to fill the quiet.
Haechan doesn’t look up, but you see the tension in his shoulders dissipate a little as he nods. “Take your time.”
Sunday, Race Day June 29th
If Haechan was irritated by the P3 qualifying last night, he’s beyond upset now. But there’s no time and he really needs to get out of his misery and get his head back in the game before the race begins, which is any moment now. He breathes out heavily, trying to calm himself down as the first red light turns on. It could’ve been worse. It’s only two people that you need to overtake. Use the corner.
At lights out, Haechan’s whole body tenses. His car surges forward, but his reaction time isn’t quicker than Jeno and Doyoung so he remains in third place. His focus sharpens as he begins to climb the gears. He’s pushing for the next position and turn 1 is his easiest chance. Even if the gap between Doyoung and him widens after the turn, he can close it on the straight.
Haechan is usually quite aware of his surroundings. Usually while going into turns his eyes are always flitting between his two mirrors. But today, he looks ahead. He knows Jaehyun is there, tucked right behind him, but what he doesn’t expect is for Jaehyun to turn so late. 
The hit comes hard. A sudden, violent shove to the rear end of his car, that sends a shock through his entire body.
Haechan’s heart races as his hands instinctively grip the wheel tighter, trying to regain control, but the car is sliding, spinning off track. His vision blurs.
As Haechan and Jaehyun’s car spin, the former going off the track, the Red Bull garage erupts in shock. Jaehyun’s Ferrari straightens out and rejoins the race, but Haechan remains there. It feels like forever to you as you ball up your fists. Come on, move!
The engineers are already analyzing the damage, but you know what’s coming next—the media frenzy. Your mind kicks into overdrive, fingers hovering over your notes. If he’s out of the race, you need to prep statements. If he’s still in it, you need to track every lap.
A voice crackles through the team radio.
“Haechan, are you alright?”
A beat. Then, a burst of static, an exhale.
“I’m fine.”
Haechan swerves his car into the right direction and re-enters the track. You release the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. The mechanics shout out their encouragement.
He’s still in it, at least. You know what’s next for you— a new narrative to prepare.
As for Haechan, he has one hell of a comeback to make.
“What position am I in?” Haechan asks, even though he knows the answer. He sees the Williams in front of him but he needs to hear it.
“P20. There’s no damage to the car. Please push.”
P20. Dead last.
The words make his jaw clench. Haechan flicks his engine mode and slams his foot on the throttle. Ahead, the Williams is too slow, too cautious. He’s past it before the lap is even done.
P19.
Next, the Haas. He catches it on the straight, ducks behind into its slipstream and overtakes it at the next turn.
P18.
In sector 2, he reaches the VCARBs, caught in their own battle. Haechan takes advantage of their hesitation into turn 3 and dives down the inside. It’s risky and close but he does it, two cars in one move.
P16.
Every move is by instinct now. An Alpine, another Sauber and Haas. One by one he picks them off. 
He outbrakes the second Williams into turn 3.
P12.
You look up from your laptop, hastily recording all his overtakes. He’s got the fastest lap now, and it’s his fourth time doing it. You’re worried, definitely, but awe masks it momentarily as you watch Haechan set purple sectors everywhere. Within five laps he’s made it to 12th place. It’s not in the points, yes. But he’s capable and you know it. It’s only a matter of time before he nears the top and time— he has a lot of it.  
P10 comes a little easily too. Na Jaemin, seemingly struggling with his engine in the Aston gives Haechan the way and Park Jisung in the first McLaren, who is way off his game this season— seeing how he’s outside of the points— is not the hardest person to overtake.
A much needed pit stop by lap 47 halts his progress and leaves Haechan stuck in at P10. Ahead of him, the second Alpine pits handing him the P9. On the straight, he comes into DRS range and overtakes Lee Chan’s Aston Martin. 
By lap 58, Haechan is up into P7. This is where it starts to get hard.
The gap ahead to Seungcheol in P6 is a little over 4 seconds. It’s nothing impossible, but Haechan can feel the pressure build up now. There’s been a rhythm to his driving up until now. He’s been pushing and edging and taking advantage of every silly mistake someone makes. But Seungcheol, even in his current form, is no slouch and neither is his car. The Ferrari holds its place through the corners and the last thing Haechan wants is to waste time.
He closes in quickly, making it a matter of when and not if he can overtake Seungcheol. When they come into the straight at the beginning of lap 59, Haechan is right behind the Ferrari, DRS open and ready to pounce. He pulls out and presses the throttle hard, determined to make it out in front before the first turn. Seungcheol, surprisingly, doesn't put up much of a fight.
“Haechan, that is P6. Incredible work, mate. Car ahead is Jaehyun.”
You’re back in the hospitality by now. Haechan’s name has been climbing up the list consistently and his speed is incredible. But you can’t afford to celebrate yet. It’s a home race and one car is still not on the podium. Red Bull expects more than just a decent result. They want to win this and you know the sponsors are watching every move. Your phone buzzes—a quick reminder that the press conference is scheduled in thirty five minutes. Regardless of how the race turns out, he needs to be ready to answer questions.
Coming into lap 71, the last lap, Haechan is beyond frustrated. Jaehyun has been holding steady for the entire race, but so has he. It’s been a long fight, and he is not giving it up to settle behind the person who fucked it up for him, really. 
The gap between them is small and with only a few corners left, Haechan watches Jaehyun’s line like a hawk. The Ferrari takes a defensive stance, but on turn 9, Jaehyun takes a slightly wider exit than normal, and it’s the crack Haechan’s been waiting for. He dives down the inside, braking late but with precision, getting alongside Jaehyun through the turn. Jaehyun can’t fight back.
Haechan forces him wide into the last turn.
P5.
Post Race, Driver’s room.
You walk down the hallway towards Haechan’s room. The paddock buzzes with the press and most of the mechanics and engineers are out celebrating Jeno’s win in front of the garage. You and Haechan are going to be late for the media if he hasn’t freshened up by now.
“Haechan, I’m coming in,” You inform, knocking twice. He doesn’t answer.
The door is open anyways, so you push it, tucking your phone into your pocket before you truly realize the sight in front of you. 
Haechan’s freshened up, alright. He’s showered and is in his normal clothes, towel hanging from his neck as he looks out of the window.
“Are you,” you pause, “coming to the media pen like this?”
You regret even asking, because you think you know his answer, and God, no. No no no, don’t say it. Please come to the pen.
“I’m not going today, sorry Miss PR.” Haechan shrugs, his voice low, flat and lacking the charm he usually has.
Your stomach drops, “Haechan… Haechan, you know you have to. It's part of the job.”
He doesn’t turn to look at you, doesn’t speak. His clothes look comfortable but you can see his tensed arms and spine despite them. He wears his disappointment like a heavy cloak, heaving him down.
"Look, I get it. I know you're upset," you say, your voice softer now, "but this is about more than just you. It's about the team, the sponsors, everything. I need you to come with me. We’ll get through it, and then you can walk away. I promise."
When he doesn’t respond immediately, you’re taken over by the insane urge to slap yourself. Not what we wanted to say! 
You enter the room fully, the door clicking softly behind you. 
“If it gets you into trouble, I’ll talk to them later. I can’t do this right now.” Haechan’s voice wavers slightly.
You hesitate, but only for a moment.
"Why are you always trying to hold it together?" you ask, crossing the room towards him. "You don’t have to be perfect all the time, Haechan. You don’t have to just swallow it down and keep going like nothing’s wrong."
He scoffs, “That’s very ironic of you to say. You’re literally my PR manager. Isn’t it your job to make me look like the perfect person all the time?” He bites back, harsher than you expect.
You stop in your tracks, taken aback. He’s never lashed out at you like that before and all you can do is just stand there and let his words hang in the air between you two.
“Okay,” You slump back, walking over to the couch and sitting down. “Fine. I’ll tell them you’re not coming.”
Haechan finally looks at you, a little surprised. You think he was expecting you to fight back more. You expected yourself to fight back more.
“But Haechan, my job isn’t to make you look perfect. It’s to help you handle all the shit that comes with your job without you having to worry too much about people attacking you for reasons that don’t even matter most of the time.”
He seems to realize the weight of your words as he comes to sit beside you.
“Today did not go the way you wanted it to, and I may never understand what is on your mind or what you go through every time.” You exhale, “But if you want me to listen, I will.”
Haechan sits quietly beside you, his fingers drumming lightly on his knee, eyes focused on the floor. The faint sound of the paddock celebrations filters through the walls, but it feels distant and irrelevant.
After what feels like an eternity, Haechan speaks. "I just... I don’t know anymore," he admits, his gaze drifting toward the window. "It feels like I’m fighting so damn hard, and for what? A P5? I was supposed to do better. I feel like I’ve let everyone down... And Jaehyun’s starting to catch up with me in the driver standings. He’s close, you know? Really close. And now my teammate’s done better than me at our home race and it wouldn’t have been too much of a problem if I was on that damn podium too.”
“I don’t think you’ve let anybody down. Today’s race doesn’t discount everything else that you have won for the team this season. It may be hard for you to believe right now, but trust me. What matters is that you move on from this. Everyone has their lows. It’s just one race, Haechan.”
“But it’s… it’s the team’s home race.” He exhales.
“Fuck the home race, then.” You shake your head, “Everyone believes in you, Haechan. Your mechanics, your engineers, Johnny, me. This is just one race out of 24. You can do this.”
Haechan looks at you then, his expression still clouded with frustration but you can tell your words got through.
"Thanks," he murmurs, and it’s almost a whisper, but you catch it.
You nod, offering a small smile. It’s not out of relief or pity, but understanding.
“I’ll take care of the media stuff,” you say, rising to your feet. “I’ll smooth things over. You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”
Haechan doesn’t respond right away, but as you reach the door, you hear him speak again, quieter this time.
“I’m sorry for snapping at you.”
You tilt your head slightly, watching him. “You think that’s the worst I’ve dealt with?”
Haechan lets out a small, tired laugh, running a hand through his hair. “Probably not.”
You smile, finally turning to leave. “Didn’t think so.”
“I mean it though. I shouldn’t have proj—”
You raise a finger making him stop, “It’s okay, I know. Get some rest, Haechan.”
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UNITED KINGDOM, SILVERSTONE CIRCUIT
Tuesday July 2nd
Lee Haechan (RB) : Hey… Are you in the UK rn? This may be wayyy out of line but Johnny kind of dared me to go to this baking workshop thing like LONG ago and um he agreed to come with me. But he’s got some sort of emergency, so he’s in the states rn and um so he can’t make it… So I was wondering if you wanted to LOL! [18:26]
You: well, it would be a waste of money if you didn’t go, wouldn’t it? [20:25]
Lee Haechan (RB) : Whew almost thought you wouldn’t reply Does that mean you’ll come? [20:26]
Wednesday
“Hey, you’re right on time.” Haechan greets as you walk over to the pergola he’s under, “The instructor just left to get the ingredients, but this place is huge so she might take like 10 to come back.”
“Huge it is,” You agree, putting your purse down and sitting beside him. 
The pergola you two sit under is just one of the many you saw on your way here. Tucked into its own corner, its beams entwined with vines and fairy lights that haven’t flickered on yet. The garden (it’s bigger, but you don’t know the appropriate term for it) seems to be divided by tall, clean-trimmed hedges, giving the entire place a maze-like look. Surprisingly, it’s a sunny day and this is the perfect place to be out. A gentle breeze ruffles the leaves overhead.
From behind the hedge to your right, bursts of laughter and chatter spill over, from a larger group, you assume. You hear the clinking of utensils against mixing bowls and turn to Haechan.
He’s already looking at you, leant back, arms stretched over the bench’s backrest. For a moment, he holds your gaze before looking away, eyes sweeping over the surroundings. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”
You hum, “Makes me wonder why Johnny would dare you to come here. Do you know what we’re going to be making?”
Haechan eyes you a little sheepishly, “Well, to be honest, you were a little bit late and I had to choose for us.”
You roll your eyes, ��Okay, but this was like almost an hour away.”
“I did offer to pick you up,” He mumbles.
“Yeah,” You nod, “But you’re probably staying at the headquarters which is literally on the other side of the city. Didn’t want to make you drive too much.”
“You’re kind of… too nice to me.” Haechan grins, getting up as the instructor comes back, “It’s great! My friends usually don’t pass up on a chance to make me suffer.”
You laugh, shaking your head, “Well aren’t you glad I’m here then.”
“Oh,” He starts, but you interject him.
“Thank you for coming, I know. You’ve said it about four times already.”
“Well, I feel a little bad.”
“Don’t be, I’m sure I’ll have fun too. I’ll let you know, I might be nice to you now but I’m a little mean when it comes to tasting.” You grin.
The instructor sets the menu in front of you and your grin only widens. “I love strawberries, apple pie and churros. You didn’t make bad choices after all.”
Haechan laughs softly before handing you your apron, “Thank god.”
The instructor gives you two the basic rundown and gives you a small pager to page her over if required before leaving you two to it. As she starts walking away, Haechan starts flipping through the cookbook, opening up to the first recipe. 
“I think we should make the churros in the end. Should we start with the pie first? It’ll take time to bake.”
You nod, wrapping the apron’s waistband around you, “Have you ever made apple filling before?”
“No, but I’m good at like bread and pasta and stuff so I think I’ll be fine with the dough? Unless you want to-”
“We make a great team, because I’m bad at that stuff,” You throw a thumbs up at him, moving over to the other side of the table where the apple basket is. 
Haechan laughs as he picks out all the ingredients he needs, “Should we make a little extra of everything so that we can take some home?”
You pause, “Sure, but do you think the two of us would be able to down an entire pie?”
He shrugs, “If we don’t then it’s just more to take home. We could make an extra one and like half it? The tins aren’t too big. Hey, it says you need 4-5 apples for one pie so maybe take like 10?”
You thank him and start sectioning and measuring your spices before you get to the apple skinning when Haechan walks over to your side. You hum, wondering if he has any questions.
“You’d take way too much time to skin 10 apples on your own. The dough won’t take me too long.” Haechan quips, reaching in front of you for the peeler. 
Halfway through peeling the apples, a thought passes through your mind when Haechan brings up Johnny. In shock, you drop your peeler onto the table before turning to look at him.
“Haechan,” You gasp, “Are you allowed to eat all this?” 
Before he can answer, you’re already pacing up and down, the back of your wrist pressing against your forehead. If you’d remembered earlier, you could’ve convinced him to not go. Holy shit, you pause. You could be the reason Haechan’s weight is off this weekend.
Haechan lets you worry for a moment before piping up, “It’s only Wednesday. Johnny knows and he’ll be back before tomorrow evening so that we can have a workout session that’s a little more intense.” He tosses the cut apples into the pot.
“Still, should we cut down on something?” You stress, pushing him over to his dough making station.
“Nooo,” Haechan drags out, “It’s alright.”
“What if you don’t fit into your race suit?” You challenge as you slowly walk back to your pot that you’ve put all your apple slices in. The spices are already in there and all you have to do is turn the flame on. 
Haechan sighs as he flicks the remnants of flour on his fingers at you, making you flinch, “Don’t worry that pretty little head of yours, come on.”
You still for a second, hoping the heat you feel creeping up your neck isn’t as obvious as it feels. Trying to play it off, you roll your eyes, “Whatever you say, I guess.”
Haechan doesn’t look up from his bowl but you can tell his smile widens. You shake your head, turning back to your apples that are beginning to cook slowly.
The pies rise steadily in the oven, the smell of cinnamon and apples clouding the air. You’re not sure if it’s because of the light inside. Leaning forward on your knees, you stare into the oven. The actual baking process is the worst according to you, but maybe you’re just a little impatient. You hear Haechan cluttering around with utensils before he stands next to you, shoulder brushing yours as he copies you.
“You know, I think we did a pretty good job. I tasted the cookie dough and it’s great too.” Haechan muses beside you, wiping his hands on a towel, “Well, I did. You just cut and measured stuff.”
You gasp, standing up straight to look at him, “Excuse me? Who prepared the filling?”
“What are you going to do with just filling? You need dough and honestly I think you’d be really bad at that.” Haechan scoffs but you see the playfulness in his eyes.
“You can’t have a pie without filling, and I made the strawberry compote too, come on!”
“You could!” Haechan defends, “It would just be a really thin, weird shaped cookie.”
You don’t know how to answer that and so you sigh in defeat. He’s moved on to scooping the strawberry shortcake cookie dough into the pan and you force your eyes to drift from the way his bangs fall into his eyes. It’s not like you’ve never noticed before, but there’s something about seeing Haechan at ease, lips pressed together in focus, brows knitted as he carefully shapes each cookie. It’s different from when he’s in his element on track. That determination and focus that he has are so different from now. Haechan’s sleeves are rolled up just enough to show his forearms and you have to mentally slap yourself from thinking about how they flexed while he kneaded the dough.
You’ve always known it, but he’s quite good looking, if you admit. The thought makes your heart stutter, and you blink rapidly, shaking yourself out of it. You’re here to bake, not… whatever this is.
“By the way,” You clear your throat, “did we use all the strawberries? I wanted to taste one.” 
Haechan pauses, “Yep.” He pops the ‘p’. You hear the timer ring for the pies. “Guess you were too busy.”
“Seriously?” You mutter, a little dejected, “It’s fine. I’ll get the pies.”
“Oh, hey, take the mittens. Wait, I’ll bring them.” You hear Haechan call out as you open the oven handle. He appears by your side, holding out your mittens.
“Here,” He says, voice closer than you expect. You turn to thank him, and just as the words are about to leave your mouth, he swiftly plops something past your lips.
Your eyes widen in shock, taste buds suddenly flooded with flavour— sweet, a little tart and unmistakably strawberry.
Haechan grins, eyes swimming with amusement as you process what just happened. “Found it,” he says with a casualness that makes you want to throw the mittens at him.
You finish chewing, the initial surprise fading into a mix of exasperation and something else that makes your chest feel strangely tight. “You—”
“I knew you wanted one,” He shrugs, a self satisfied smirk plastered on his lips.
You narrow your eyes at him, crossing your arms. “You’re just so…”
“Not my fault you’re easy to surprise.”
You huff, shaking your head as you finally grab the mittens. “You’re lucky these pies smell too good for me to be mad at you right now.”
His laughter follows you as you open the oven, but you don’t miss the way his eyes linger on you for a moment longer. And you definitely don’t miss the way your heart stumbles again, just a little, before you shake it off and focus on not dropping the pies.
Saturday, Qualifying July 3rd
“How’s the car feeling?” Johnny asks as he sets down Haechan’s plate in front of him.
“It’s fine,” Haechan grimaces at his food, making Johnny sigh, “Better than last week. So much better. The team made some updates.”
“Don’t make that face.” Johnny rolls his eyes, “I let you off for eating all those damn sweets. You reap what you sow.” 
He expects Haechan to bite back, but all he gets in return is an absent minded hum. He looks up from his phone to see Haechan looking around the cafeteria and sighs inwardly. 
“Who are you looking for?” Johnny questions, making Haechan snap his head back to him before poking at the quinoa on his plate. 
“No one,” Haechan mumbles.
Johnny raises an eyebrow but doesn’t press him and goes back to his phone. The cafeteria buzzes with the usual lunchtime chatter. The mechanics and engineers too, seem to have come up for their lunch break before qualifying. Johnny looks up at Haechan for a second when he seems to realize that the driver usually eats lunch in his room, in order to focus and calm his mind. 
Before he can question it, Haechan pipes up, “How’s your sister and her baby, by the way?”
“She’s fine. And my nephew? Oh god, he is so cute. Wait let me show you a photo,” Johnny gushes as he scrolls through his photos, “Thanks for letting me go, actually. I mean, I did you a favour too. Didn’t you take your PR girl with you?” He looks up to see Haechan distracted, eyes flicking around the room again.
“Ah,” Johnny sighs, shaking his head, “So that’s what’s on your mind?”
Haechan glances at him before stuffing a forkful of grilled chicken in his mouth, “What? Show me the photos.”
Johnny slides his phone over, still staring at him. “It makes sense really,” He says to himself, “You took her out when I cancelled. You don’t want to eat in your room anymore, you keep looking around for her.”
Haechan freezes, his fork already halfway to his mouth. He sets it down, trying to play the cool game, but Johnny knows Haechan and frankly with the way he’s scratching his neck right now while fervently scrolling through his photos, he already has his answer.
“Your nephew’s really cute.” Haechan says, a little too loudly, “I’d love to meet him one day.”
Johnny leans back in his chair, arms crossed and grins a little wider than what Haechan would’ve liked to see. “Anyways, where is she? Seems like you two have gotten close.”
“Well, she’s around me a lot and it’s been like what—five months—already. Of course we’d be friends,” Haechan rolls his eyes. He meant for it to come out very coolly, but he ends up sounding a bit defensive. “And I don’t know where she is. I don’t need to see her until after quali.”
“Mhm,” Johnny teases, “You don’t need to see her, but you want to. I get it.”
“Oh, shut up,” Haechan hisses, getting up from his seat, “You’re distracting me. I’m going to go back to my room. Throw out my plate for me, will you?”
“Are you sure I’m what’s distracting you?” Johnny calls out behind him, earning a few looks. He laughs while looking around, “Oh it’s nothing, he’s just a little worried about qualifying.”
Post qualifying
“Haechan, congratulations on pole position,” The reporter chirps, “If you could step up to the mic, please.”
“Thank you,” Haechan gives a small smile, waiting for the questions.
“The Red Bulls seemed very strong today and yesterday, you know, over the practice sessions and qualifying. Jeno qualified with a P3. Anything new about the car? Has anything changed since Austria?”
“Yeah, well, the team had already been working hard on bringing an update to the car so it’s been feeling good this weekend. Hopefully we can use it to give the team a 1-2 finish again.”
“You’ve been on the podium multiple times here in Silverstone, but you’ve never won before. What’s different this time and what do you think about your chances for tomorrow?”
“Silverstone has been slightly challenging for me in the past, but every year is different, right? The team has made some great progress with the car. I think personally, I feel more in tune than I did last weekend. This is our best shot yet. Of course it’ll be a tough battle, but I think we’ll be able to make the most out of it tomorrow.” Haechan nods, “Also, they do predict a little rain here, every year. Always makes it more exciting.”
The reporter laughs along with him, “Of course. Now my last question. You weren’t here last weekend, so I didn’t get to ask you.”
You can see Haechan stiffening up. You did talk to him about the possibility of reporters or journalists asking about Austria. Hopefully he remembers.
“In Austria, you had that incident with Jaehyun on lap one. With the title fight heating up between you two, how do you feel about something like that happening at such a critical point in the season? Does it change the way you approach racing with him, or was it just a racing incident?”
No matter how Haechan answers this, you know it’s going to stir up drama. It’s about time anyways, with the championship fight set up between the drivers and the teams. You lightly tug Haechan’s hand, hoping it’s out of frame or even just subtle enough. He notices.
“It was unfortunate. I had a lot to unpack after that race,” Haechan begins, “It was frustrating, especially since we both know how much is at stake. I mean, it’s tough out here… I think we’ve both had a fair share of things not going our way. But yeah, it’s a championship fight and I’m not here to back down. Keeping it clean is ideal of course, but I don’t mind some hard racing. It is a part of the game after all. We’ll see how the rest of the season plays out.”
“You did well,” You mutter to him as the two of you leave the media pen after a few more interviews.
“Oh thanks, I learnt from the best.” Haechan chuckles. You smile.
“No, I mean. Even in quali and everything.” You look up at him. 
His lips are stretched in an easy smile and he looks more collected and composed today. You haven’t seen this type of confidence ooze off him in a while, so today, it makes you glad.
“I feel good too, honestly.” Haechan admits, “I think I got too into my head last time and it just never works out like that. I’ve done this so many times and just because there’s a championship win looming over my head does not mean I crumble under the pressure of it all.” He dramatically sighs.
“Well,” You quip, “Don’t be too confident. After all that you’ve said today, you’d make it really hard for you and me to answer if you didn’t win tomorrow.”
Haechan stops in his tracks, turning to you, “Are you telling me to win?”
“Would I tell you to lose?” You question, squinting at him.
“No, but are you telling me to win for you? So that you don’t have to deal with those articles?” He has a smirk on his face that one half of you, the more sane half wants to punch off.
“I didn’t say that. But if you happened to win, everyone would be pleased.” You shrug nonchalantly. 
Haechan laughs, “Everyone includes you.” 
“It does.” You sigh before fastening your pace and walking ahead of him. You don’t understand why he’s doing this, but it sucks. It sucks and you don’t think it's professional and- Shit your face is probably red right now. 
“Hey! Hey, I’ll win it.” Haechan grins as he catches up to you, “For the team, and the championship, of course.”
You nod sternly, “Yes, exactly.”
“And,” He begins as you reach the entrance to where the motorhomes are parked, “For you. Thanks for walking me back!” He runs off before you can pretend to get mad at him. You roll your eyes, fanning your face as you walk away.
Around the same time, the next day, you walk away from the celebrations for a second, feeling your phone ping in your pocket. Perfect timing, really, because you’d rather not get champagne all over you.
Someone’s sent you an article. You click on the link.
Haechan dominates Silverstone for maiden win, Vows: ‘I’m not here to back down’. Ferrari falls short again as title hopes begin to falter.
You shake your head, turning towards the crowd formed in the centre of the garage as they attempt to douse the man of the hour in champagne. You watch as Haechan shrieks, trying to dodge his head mechanic who has another, completely filled bottle in his hands. His overalls are already soaked, and his hair sticks to his forehead as a result of Jeno pouring champagne over his head on the podium.
For a second, Haechan’s eyes search around until they land on you. When they do, his eyes widen ever so slightly and he beams. Teeth out, cheeks full and eyes almost closing.
You can’t help but smile back. Your heart skips a beat, multiple beats, you think. You hope no one notices the way your cheeks are burning up right now. You hope he doesn’t notice it. Looking away, you tuck your phone back in. You need to head back up, gather your things and head back home. You’d promised your family you’d visit and conveniently you have almost a week and a half off before you travel again.
To your (unknown) dismay, Haechan does notice. 
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ITALY, AUTODROMO NAZIONALE MONZA
Saturday, Qualifying September 6th
Rumours around the paddock don’t start baselessly, so when you overhear news from Jaehyun’s PR manager, a senior of yours from college, it shocks you. Choi Seungcheol, Il Prescelto, the chosen one, Ferrari’s lion… talks of leaving?
Haechan is even more astonished when you accidentally let it slip in front of him. 
“That’s…” He tilts his chin, thinking hard, “That’s not possible, is it? I mean, he’s been with them for so long. He’s got them those four drivers championships. There’s no way he’d leave.”
“I don’t know Haechan,” You sigh, dragging a hand across your face, “I wasn’t even supposed to tell you this. Listen, this is the last-”
“Last thing I need to worry about, I know.” He shakes his head as he slips on his racing shoes. 
The two of you are in his dressing room, about fifteen minutes before qualifying starts. You’re not sure if you’re supposed to be here, but you find yourself pacing nervously while he adjusts his gear. 
“I don’t even know why I’m saying this,” You bite your lip, trying to find the right words, “It’s just- She told me that there’s been a lot going on in their team, between the drivers, something, I don’t know.” 
Haechan nods as he stands up and walks over to you, moving you out of the way by your waist to grab his helmet. Your brain short circuits for a moment before you wrangle it back into control. You’re trying to tell him something. Stop it. You can’t help the way your stomach somersaults at the smell of his cologne.
“Haechan,” Your voice is stern and it makes him stop, hand on his helmet on the shelf. It’s not an ideal position, at all. You can imagine what it would look like if someone walked into the room right now, one hand on the shelf, the other unconsciously on your waist. Haechan is too close to you. You clear your throat, swallowing as he moves away muttering an apology. There’s an air of disappointment and confusion surrounding you two and you know it. There are things unsaid and undone, but now is not the time.
“I think you’ve noticed already from the practice sessions but they’re fighting within themselves.” You sigh, hoping the shakiness in your voice isn’t too obvious.
“Yeah, the team told me in the briefing session. I thought it was just some silly teammate banter, though.”
“Hopefully it is. But just stay safe out there, okay?” 
Haechan's heart warms at the concern in your voice.
“Always, I know. It's alright.”
“I'll see you after quali then. All the best,” You muster a small smile. You don't think he could go faster than your heart is beating right now, to be fair, but you hope he does.
Haechan hasn't told you this yet, but as he gets into his car in the garage, he thinks you already know his intentions. He needs to out qualify both the Ferraris today. Especially Jaehyun. Haechan is not one to leave favours unpaid and the only way he can return Jaehyun’s is by ruining his home race too. The fabled Italian grand prix, with the thousands of tifosi here. He’s not going to mess up Jaehyun’s race like the latter did in Austria, no. He’s better than that and besides, he needs a clean race, if not for himself, if not for the team, then for you. No, Haechan’s going to make sure he ruins it by winning.
His engineer gives him the green light to fire up the engine and leave the garage. As he swerves out into the pitlane, he almost scoffs into his radio. In front of him both the Ferraris leave their garage, blazing red and engines roaring. 
If there is an issue between the two of them—like you said there might be— then as long as they don’t crash into him, maybe it’ll work out in his favour after all.
His engineer's voice crackles through the radio, “Haechan, all clear ahead. There’s not much traffic at the moment so let’s make this lap count.”
“Copy,” Haechan replies.
He accelerates into the first chicane, overtaking the Ferraris who still seem to be warming up. He’s always found the breaking zone at turn one a little tricky, but he powers through it into the second part of the chicane. 
Exiting sector 1 into turn 4, Haechan hears on his radio, “That’s a purple sector 1. Keep going.”
The Red Bull flies through the straight in sector two, his speedometer reading a speed of 310 km/hr as the Parabolica, the temple of speed, looms ahead. It’s the final corner before the stretch to the finish line, the trickiest of them all. 
His rear wheels fight for grip as he brakes late into the corner, dropping down a gear. Haechan keeps his foot steady, accelerating just as the car begins to straighten. The Parabolica is deceptive—too early on the throttle, and the back end kicks out. Too late, and he loses time.
“Purple sector 2.” His engineer informs him.
Haechan exhales as he approaches the finish line, keeping the car steady. The final moments of the lap feel like they take forever, but he thinks he’s hit all the marks. He crosses the line and steps off the throttle, slowing down due to an increase in the number of cars at the entrance. 
“So?” He asks into the radio.
“Haechan, that is provisional pole for you. Well done mate, all purple sectors.” 
Haechan grins, “Alright, heading back to the pits.”
He stays in until the end of Q3. It’s slightly surprising that no one has out-qualified him yet, but who is he to complain? Haechan sits on one of the seats at the pitwall, watching the others qualify. He doesn’t exactly feel threatened by any of their lap times but with 10 minutes remaining, Seungcheol sets a lap time that is only a second off of his. He gets back to the garage after seeing that, zipping his overalls and putting his helmet and balaclava back on, Haechan settles into his seat. The mechanics are on standby but Seungcheol comes back into the pits and the session ends with no one outdoing him. There’s a sense of confidence in Haechan as he climbs out of his seat again, taking off his helmet to high five some of his mechanics.
Pole in Monza. He’s ahead of both the Ferraris in their home ground. It’s a huge advantage for both championships. All he needs to do now is convert that pole into a win.
Sunday, Race Day September 7th
The best thing about home races, Haechan muses, is the home crowd.
But they're not cheering for him, no. It's more of an encouragement for Seungcheol to go quicker. Outrun the bull that's coming for you. But Seungcheol is on the straight with old tires and Haechan is right on his tail with fresh hards on. 
The overtaking opportunity shows itself easily. There's not much one can do on a straight with a car that has DRS enabled behind him.
Haechan can hear the disappointment in the crowd as he overtakes the Ferrari, the groans loud enough to penetrate through his helmet and the engine’s loud rumbling. He smirks, taking the lead of the race again. There’s nothing like disappointing the Tifosi.
Exiting the first chicane, in his mirrors, he sees both Ferrari’s close to each other. Almost too close. They’re fighting, red against red, sparks flying as they push their cars to the limit. There’s no teamwork in sight, no sense of strategy—only two drivers who refuse to yield.
Haechan knows that kind of desperation. The kind that you need when you’re trying to prove yourself to someone. It just seems like the wrong moment for this, though, with the constructors easily on the line.
Haechan’s engineer cuts through on the radio, “Ferraris fighting for P2 behind you. Keep your head down and focus.”
“Copy.” He replies, eyes flicking back his mirrors once again. Both of them are driving recklessly and he does not want to be around to get stuck in debris if they do end up crashing into each other.
In the garage, you watch Jaehyun lock up on screen as he dives into a turn, lunging for the overtake. Seungcheol defends hard, leaving barely any room. They almost touch again but come out the other side unscathed. The shot widens and you see Haechan already a good few seconds ahead of them. Relief courses through you as he keeps his pace steady, pulling away from the chaos behind him.
At the exit to turn 2, Jaehyun dives outside but Seungcheol moves to defend a split second too late. Jaehyun’s rear wheel hits the curb hard and sends his car into the air. You feel time slow down before gravity overtakes again and Jaehyun’s Ferrari crashes down on top of his teammate. Jaehyun’s rear wheel runs up against the cockpit of Seungcheol’s car as they drive off track and the commentary box goes wild, their voices frantic.
“Oh my word! Massive crash between the Ferraris! Are both the Scuderia cars OUT of their home race?” Even with earplugs on, you can hear the roar of the fans in the grandstands as the shock settles in.
The slow-motion replay shows Jaehyun’s car hanging in the air for a split second before slamming down on Seungcheol’s halo.
“Look at that! The halo is doing its job there, saving Seungcheol. But what a terrifying impact!”
The replay shifts to the aftermath—the two Ferraris tangled together, sliding helplessly into the gravel, debris scattered across the track.
“And it’s confirmed,” The commentator begins, “Both Ferraris are out of the race at Monza! Can you believe it? In front of the thousands of Tifosi here, it has been a nightmare of a weekend for Ferrari.”
“Is everyone alright?” Haechan asks his engineer. He’s seen the impact of the accident behind him. It couldn’t have been great.
“Uh yes, both drivers are safe. Red flag, Haechan. Please slow down and come back to the pits. They’ve ordered a restart.”
Once he's back in the garage, the tension is thick. The pit crew is busy, checking the car over one last time. Haechan leans back against the wall, the weight of what just happened pressing down on him. Two Ferraris out in a spectacular crash—he can't help but feel a mix of relief and unease. They were close to each other. It could've been him, too, if things had gone differently.
But his engineer walks up, data flashing on the screen in front of him and it grounds Haechan. The race isn’t over yet and he cannot afford to lose focus. With the restart, although he’ll still have the advantage, it could be an opportunity for anybody else. Especially Jeno, who’s now been promoted to P2 after both the Ferrari’s crash out.
“There’s no need for you and Jeno to battle it out,” He hears his strategist say. “Since Ferrari is out, it won’t affect your driver’s standing much, so focus on the constructors. You should try to win, of course, but keep it clean, please.”
Haechan nods. The restart is coming soon. He needs to get back into the car. 
As he walks back to the desk near his car to pick up his helmet, he sees your figure, bent over your laptop, typing away. You're scanning through the data, probably double-checking something, or maybe working on a report for the team. He notices the way your brow furrows in concentration, how you’re so focused on your work. It's a stark contrast to the chaos of the garage around you, but it’s also strangely calming.
The weight of his helmet pulls him back into the present. He’s got a job to finish. 
Just as he climbs back into his seat, he looks at you again, almost instinctively with no thought behind it. But for a brief moment you catch his gaze and give him a small nod, encouragement maybe. You can’t see his face, but he throws a small smile anyways. He’s alright and he’s safe, just like he promised.
Back on track, the restart is smooth. Haechan reacts quickly, gets off the start line nicely and has nothing but clean air ahead. There’s nothing that could go wrong now, and with that sentiment, he completes the last three laps remaining.
As he crosses the finish line, Jeno’s red bull right behind him, the silence from the crowd is deafening. Their disappointment is palpable, but Haechan frankly does not care. There is nothing like hearing a crowd go silent at their home ground and he’s proud to be the reason for it.
When he makes his way onto the podium a few minutes later, the boos echo in his ear. It’s nothing new, after all, this is what a non-Ferrari winner is subjected to here. It makes him smile a little. Haechan knows the score. They’re mad, but Red Bull and him are winning. So he waves at the crowd, keeping his composure. He’s not the favourite, but well, sucks for them.
Post Race 
When Haechan steps out of the shower, the cool air of the room hits him, and he reaches for a towel, drying his face and neck before rubbing it over his hair. His damp curls fall in waves, still slightly messy from the helmet. There’s a lingering exhaustion in his bones, but he knows you’ll be here any second now to take him to the drivers press conference and he can’t be late to that. 
He slips on the team’s jersey just as you knock on the door. “It’s open.” He answers loudly.
“Hey winner,” you say, stepping in just a little. “We’re running out of time. Are you ready?”
“Almost,” Haechan mumbles as he rubs his hair with his towel, “My hair just won't dry and I can't find another towel.”
You bite your lip as you look around. Ideally, there should be a hair dryer here but you can't see one in plain sight. “If you don't have a hair dryer then do you want me to go ask Jeno if he has one?”
“No, wait. I think I remember seeing one in the closet. Shit, I was just in a rush and didn't think about it.” Haechan shuffles around before pulling it out of his closet.
You watch him for a minute but as he fumbles around with it, you're starting to get a little impatient. The conference has probably already begun and while it's not uncommon for a driver to arrive a little late, you'd prefer the two of you to not be completely off time.
“Haechan, can you just sit down?” You sigh, taking the dryer from his hand and gently shoving him down. 
Haechan, through his slight panic, registers that you're standing above him, between his legs, one hand gently pulling and ruffling his hair as you attempt to dry it as quickly as possible. 
He thinks it's impossible how every once of exhaustion leaves his body, instead being replaced by the awareness of how close you are to him right now. It could be the heat from the hair dryer, or the air blowing onto his face but he knows the real reason why he feels frazzled is you. 
Haechan's breaths come out slightly laboured. He's had a thousand moments where his heart beats at the speed of his car, but it's always been for a split second. When he loses control of his front or rear tyres, when he spins out, when he drifts a little too much, when another car gets too close to him. They end quickly though and he brings himself back into control.
But you. God, you stick him in this never ending cycle of losing his damn cool when you do things like these. And yeah, he tries to play it cool by coming off bold. But you catch him off guard multiple times. Haechan wonders if he's reading this situation right. 
“They might ask you about Ferrari.” You interrupt his thoughts.
See! He thinks to himself. You do things like drying his fucking hair for him which he believes is completely unprofessional and not at all in your job description. He isn't complaining, no, never. But then you follow it up by suddenly becoming professional and it confuses the hell out of him. But Haechan can't say anything because he's a coward when it comes to actually telling you how he feels, so he nods and looks up at you as you turn off the dryer.
“Just be careful to not sound too cocky. You've earned a good advantage, but there's going to be a lot of Italian press and media and they won't really like it.” You stare him down and Haechan can only swallow and nod as he gets up to leave. 
He thinks you'll follow him as he leaves but to his surprise, you stop him. You hate being late and he knows that. So he turns back to look at you quizzically.
You pause for a second not knowing how to do this before you decide to fuck it all and lean forward to give Haechan an awkward hug.
He freezes as your arms encircle his shoulder. Your mango and hibiscus perfume that he’s asked you about before has an addictive scent, filling his senses and sending his mind into overdrive.
“Good job today,” You mutter, “On winning, on staying safe, everything. I'm sure it'll all work out.”
Haechan is still speechless as you leave him, your face burning as you rush to leave the room.
He stares at you as you speed walk through the corridor, before stopping and motioning for him to come too. How the hell is he supposed to answer questions about the goddamn car after you pull something like that and make sure you're stuck in his head instead of the things he's supposed to say?
He takes a deep breath, willing his heart to slow down. It’s just a hug. A pat on the shoulder. Completely normal, right?
…Right?
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imaginedisish · 11 months ago
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See You Again (Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader)
A/N: This took so long, and it's because it is ABSOLUTELY FILTHY. This one is inspired by "See You Again" by Tyler, The Creator and Kali Uchis. This isn't a request...just a *thot* I had. Heavy on enemies to lovers and forced proximity. And cocky Logan...Enjoy :)
Summary: You're convinced Logan hates you. But when you're forced to run a drill in the danger room, alone, everything changes.
Warnings: SMUT 18+ MINORS DNI!!!! Oral (f!receiving), fingering, Unprotected PIV (wrap it up!), afab!reader/f!reader, enemies to lovers, forced proximity, cursing, some angst, cocky!Logan/teasing!Logan, praise kink, softdom!Logan, mutant!reader, canon typical violence, probably grammatical errors, I think that's it!
Word Count: 5,325 I am disgusting
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You could not believe your eyes. It had to be a glitch—your names together on the touch screen built into the wall. You tap the glass firmly with your index finger, but the words don’t budge. This is it. This is the last straw. 
There is no way you are going into the training room—the danger room—with Logan Howlett. 
“Oh, absolutely not!” You shout, turning to face Charles and Storm. “I am not going in there with him!”
Storm shakes her head. “That is the assignment we are giving you.”
Charles nods in agreement, pointing between you and Logan. “You two need to learn to work together.”
“This is insane,” you stammer. “Does nobody see how crazy this is? I’m not doing this.”
“Why?” Logan asks, arms tucked into his chest, back against the wall. He smiles, cocky and self-assured. “You afraid you might like it?” You try not to think about the deepness of his voice or the way his smile makes your breath catch in your throat. 
“N-no!” You stutter, stumbling over your words as you finally process just what Logan meant. “You hate me! I’m afraid you might kill me in there!” 
Logan’s smile falls from his lips. He looks almost shocked, but you ignore the sudden change in his expression. You’ve only been a member of the team for a few months now, but you know Logan well enough. You know he doesn’t really care. He’s always short with you. He teases you; he calls you princesscondescendingly. He’s overly protective, incessantly running to your side on missions as if you can’t handle yourself. It is so incredibly annoying. And yet…
You can’t help but harbor a small—maybe massive—crush on him.  
And so, being in the simulated danger room, alone, with Logan, is quite possibly your biggest fear. 
“Mr. Howlett certainly does not hate you,” Charles assures. “And he will not be killing you, either.” 
You roll your eyes, and Charles smiles softly. Storm walks over to the screen, pressing a few buttons. Suddenly the doors to the room open, and she extends her hand, inviting you and Logan inside. 
Logan pushes himself off the wall, side-eying you as he steps inside with no hesitation. You look to Storm, exasperation and stress painted across your face. You swallow nervously. “Don’t make me do this,” you plead, pressing your palms together as if praying to Storm. 
She tuts, pushing your shoulders softly, but strongly enough to make you fall past the doors and into the room. “Good luck!” She says, smiling widely and pressing a button. The doors quickly slide shut. 
“No!” You shout, banging your fists into the doors once before letting your forehead fall against the cold metal. You groan, turning around so that your back is pressed against the doors instead. 
“Simulation, starting,” a robotic, automated voice calls out. A blue grid scans the room, and a battle scene appears. You’re in a winter forest, snow covering the ground and falling from the white clouds above. The room even grows a bit colder, a slight chill hanging in the air. It’s surprisingly peaceful. 
Too peaceful. 
There’s a crash somewhere nearby in the forest, and then an explosion. You jump, turning around. Logan is at your side in a heartbeat, claws extending out. A few feet away, a massive metal sentinel stomps, shaking the ground. 
“Die, mutant scum!” The robot’s voice echoes against the trees as if the forest were real. It points its arm at you and Logan, loading its laser gun and shooting. Before you can react, Logan is shoving you to the ground and rolling on top of you to shield you. 
There’s a scorching sear—a patch of melted snow and burnt grass where you and Logan had just been standing. The simulation is fake, but it suddenly feels incredibly real. Logan is still on top of you, wide eyes searching yours. Your chests press together. He’s so close that it’s distracting, dizzying, overwhelming. You need him off you. Now. 
“I can handle myself,” you spit, but he doesn’t move. 
He smirks. “Sure looks like you can, princess.” 
You groan, shoving him off and standing up. You dig your heels into the ground, looking up as the sentinel approaches. It aims again, and shoots. This time, you’re prepared, controlling the laser with your mind. The beam stutters in the air as you concentrate on changing its trajectory. It takes so much strength—so much power—but it works. You let go of the beam and it slings back into the sentinel’s face, the metal melting in a fiery explosion. 
You turn your head to Logan, the corner of your mouth twitching up. “See! Told you I can—” 
Another blast echoes across the forest, and Logan’s arms are around you again, pulling you back down to the ground with him. “You can what? Risk your life unnecessarily to prove yourself to me?” 
“Oh, you are so full of shit!” You shout, punching at his chest, but he doesn’t flinch. “You think I’m weak!” 
He furrows his brows. “Who the hell said that?” He pushes himself up, jumping onto the sentinel in front of you. His claws slice at the robot’s head, swiping it clean off. 
“It’s just the way you treat me!” You call out as you extend your hand and push another sentinel into a tree. You concentrate, bending its arm towards itself. With the flick of your wrist, you pull its trigger, forcing the robot to shoot itself. 
You don’t see the sentinel that’s behind you, but Logan does. He grabs your hand, yanking you behind a nearby tree. “And how do I treat you?” He asks, caging you in, his hands pressed firmly on either side of your head. 
His eyes are trained on yours, watching your every move. You look away, unable to keep his stare. “L-like you hate me,” you stutter, looking down at the ground and then back up at him. 
He tilts his head to the side. There’s that shocked expression again—the same one he had made outside the danger room. He shakes his head, smirking. “I don’t hate you,” he starts. You can see the shift in his face, the softness in his eyes, the playfulness in his smile. He’s close again. So fucking close. “I don’t think I could ever hate you.” 
“But you always—”
You’re abruptly interrupted as a sentinel blasts the top of the tree you and Logan are leaning against. The trunk cracks, and you look up, watching as the branches begin to fall. 
“Let’s move!” Logan shouts, grabbing your hand again, and leading you to the other side of the forest. “How many of these fuckers are there?”
You can see three coming in, surrounding you and Logan. You instinctively stand back-to-back, readying yourselves for the fight. When you had started this training session, you didn’t think you’d be here, pressed against Logan, guarding his back as he guards yours. You’re working as a team, a unit, equals, partners. 
You can hear Logan’s claws shing against the metal of the sentinel he’s fighting. You take on the one straight ahead, while the other stalks close behind. You shut your eyes, listening to its steps as it approaches. You breathe deeply, opening your eyes and extending your hand out. You swallow, concentrating hard as the metal of the sentinel’s head begins to bend. Slowly but surely, you crush it like it’s an aluminum can in the palm of your hand. It caves in on itself, crashing down to the ground. 
“Atta girl,” Logan praises over your shoulder, his lips inches away from your ear. He finishes off his sentinel, too, his claws swiping cleanly as the robot crashes to the ground. You try to ignore the way your stomach somersaults, the way your heart beats out of your chest. You’re sure Logan can hear it given his heightened senses.  
You’re so distracted by him that you’ve forgotten about the other sentinel. It’s suddenly closing in quickly. Too quickly. It aims, and you shut your eyes, trying to muster up enough energy to stop it before it shoots. But you can’t. You’ve used so much of your energy already, bending metal and stopping the sentinels’ beams. You’re tired, out of breath. 
“L-Logan,” you stutter, your head piercing with pain as you try to concentrate, pushing yourself harder than you should. “C-can’t…” You trail off, unable to finish your sentence as the pain worsens, your head throbbing. 
Logan steps out in front of you, sweeping his claws at the sentinel’s guns, disarming it. He slashes its legs next, and the robot comes crashing down. But he miscalculates ever so slightly, the sentinel tipping over, threatening to fall on the two of you. 
“Fuck!” He shouts, pushing you down to the ground. You don’t fight him this time, allowing his arms to wrap around you as he shields you, his body warm against yours. 
The sentinel’s head smashes into a nearby tree, slowing its fall. It scratches against the bark, the sound of screeching metal rattling in the air. You wince, and Logan quickly moves to cover your ears, protecting you from the noise. You’ve long forgotten this is just a drill, a simple training session. The panic has set in, and you squeeze your eyes shut. It all feels too real.
Logan’s hands lift from your ears. His full weight is still on you. He lifts himself up slightly so that he’s hunched over you instead. “Hey,” he soothes, his fingers gently brushing up and down your arms. His touch is electric against your skin. “I think it’s over.” 
You finally open your eyes. Logan is still hovering over you. The sentinel precariously leans against the tree, frozen just above the two of you. You’re trembling, shaken, unconvinced that this is all just a simulation.
“A-are you sure?” You stammer, frantically looking around the forest. 
“Yeah,” he whispers. He can see the fear on your face, the single tear that runs down your cheek. You’re in shock—literally. He slips his hands under your back, hoisting you up so that he’s holding you in his arms. “It’s okay,” he murmurs, pulling you to his chest. “I’ve got you. None of that was real.” He strokes up and down your back. “It wasn’t real,” he repeats, his voice steady and reassuring. 
“I forgot,” you confess, letting your head fall into the crook of his neck. It dawns on you how soft he’s being, how kind he truly is. “I couldn’t use my powers. I was so drained, and I was so worried that you’d…” You trail off, too nervous to finish your sentence. 
“That I’d what?” Logan presses, holding you tighter. 
You’re trembling for an entirely different reason, now. You take a deep breath, and the words fall from your lips. “That you’d get hurt, or worse, and I wouldn’t be able to save you.”
He pulls away from you for a moment, looking down at you. Tender—that’s how he looks. Soft, gentle—so much different from the beast he normally is. A chuckle rumbles through Logan’s chest. “Sounds like you don’t mind me so much after all, princess.” 
“I never said I didn’t like you,” you say back, a small smile playing on your lips. You poke your index finger into his chest. “You’re the one who hates me.” 
Logan shakes his head, his expression turning somewhat serious. “I said it before, and I’ll say it again: nothing could ever make me hate you.”
You look into his eyes, searching for something—you’re not quite sure what. The truth? He just gave it to you. He laid it bare. “So, w-what do you think about me?” You ask, tentative, anxious. 
He’s smirking again. “You really don’t know, do you?” He brings his face closer to yours, his lips just centimeters away. Your breaths meld together. He pulls you in again, tighter this time. Your throat bobs and your heart beats out of your chest. Your noses brush, the proximity driving you wild. He slips his hands down your back and under your shirt—bare skin on bare skin. 
Your lips are practically touching—the ghost of a kiss. Logan breathes you in, swallowing harshly as he parts his lips and—
The room suddenly changes, the forest disappearing and the doors opening with a swoosh. The walls are metal and gray; the ground is hard and cold. You and Logan quickly separate, standing up, shoulders awkwardly bumping as you regain your bearings. 
“That was…” Charles trails off, entering the room with Storm at his side. “A very excellent execution of that simulation,” he summarizes, perhaps intentionally leaving out the more embarrassing details. 
“You two certainly learned how to work as a team,” Storm says, her arms crossing tight against her chest. She raises her eyebrows and smirks knowingly.  
“Yeah, well, she’s strong,” Logan says, looking over at you. “And talented.” The compliment makes your chest feel hot and tight. You can see the look in his eyes, the one that screams: We aren’t finished yet. 
Charles nods toward the doors, motioning for you to walk with him, and so you do. Logan moves to follow you, but Storm stops him. She’s keeping him busy, telling him where he could have improved during the simulation. You turn around, your eyes trained on him, not paying attention to a word that Charles says. 
Later. Logan mouths. Your breath hitches in your throat. You nod once, smiling widely. His eyes don’t leave yours as you walk through the doors of the room and into the hallway. 
“Are you listening, my dear?” Charles’s question snaps you back to reality. 
“To be honest, Professor, no,” you say, embarrassed. 
But Charles smiles. “That’s just fine. I was simply saying that you must be careful. You’re incredibly strong, as Logan said, but you faltered,” he pauses. You’re still barely listening, your mind racing with thoughts of Logan. “When you exert yourself too much too soon you…”
Charles continues talking, but you can’t hear him. You’re thinking about how close Logan was to you, his hands under your shirt, his lips ghosting yours. So close, but not quite close enough. 
He made you a promise. Later. 
Later later later—it’s a perfect word. 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later comes, and Logan is nowhere to be seen. The grandfather clock in the study reads 9:55 PM. You’ve been keeping an eye out for him, searching for him all day. But it’s like he disappeared. 
You’re at the old oak desk in the study, reading a book, scribbling notes in the margins. You’re writing nonsense, really. You haven’t been able to think straight all day, not with Logan on your mind. You close your eyes, dropping your head to the center of the book. You feel like a child, impatiently waiting for the thing they were promised if they behaved well enough. 
You groan audibly, bumping your head against the book once, twice, three times. 
“Well, somebody’s happy to see me.” You shoot up straight at the familiar, bassy voice. Across the room—leaning in the doorway—is Logan. He’s still in his beater and his jeans, still wearing that shit-eating grin, too. His arms are crossed against his chest.
“H-hi,” you stutter, suddenly nervous. He pushes himself from the doorway with his hip, shutting the door behind him. His thumb brushes over the lock and it clicks into place. He stalks over to the desk. You can already feel the fire building between your legs. 
“Didn’t think I forgot about you, did you?” He leans over the desk, his hands covering yours. He’s hovering over you, holding you in place. “Thought I wanted to be away from you that long?”
You can’t think of what to say—can’t think of anything except him. You’re frazzled, caught off guard, wrapped up in Logan. 
“You like when I tease you, pretty girl?” His voice is honeyed and dark. He lets go of your hands and slips behind the desk. You turn around to face him. 
“Y-yes,” you confess, leaning against the desk as Logan towers over you. 
He hums, his hands finding your hips, holding you tightly. “You’re cute when you’re flustered.”
“I’m not flustered,” you protest, but it’s no use. You can feel the heat rising to your chest, the way your clothes uncomfortably scratch against your skin. His words are tripping you up and driving you wild. 
“Yeah?” Logan asks, taking a step closer, his hips pressing into yours, his hands tugging at the hem of your shirt. He slips inside, his nails trailing gently up your stomach. You shiver underneath his touch, goosebumps rising in its wake. He smirks, knowing full well what he’s doing to you. “Then tell me how I’m making you feel.” 
Fuck, you think to yourself. You swallow harshly, racking your brain for the words. “G-good…” you trail off as Logan’s fingers travel up to your ribs, hiking your shirt up in the process. 
“Just good?” He murmurs, massaging your breasts over your bra. He squeezes, thumbs brushing your nipples. 
“B-better than good,” you force out, leaning into his touch, searching for more of him. “Wanna touch you too.” Your hand falls to his lower half, riding up his inner thigh until you find his erection. He’s so much bigger than you expected him to be.
He can’t help but lean into your hand as you slide up and down his shaft. He grunts, losing his composure, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. You can feel him straining against his jeans, the denim tight and uncomfortable. You trail up to his belt, but Logan suddenly grabs your hands and pins them to the desk below. 
All you can think about is how he isn’t touching you anymore, how his lips are centimeters away from yours, how he’s holding you down as his erection pushes against your leg. He shakes his head. “Wanna make you come first, pretty girl,” he husks, closing in on you. His forehead presses to yours. “Lay back for me, sweetheart.” You listen as he guides you down to the desk, hurriedly shoving papers and books away and onto the floor. 
You sit up on your forearms, watching as he strips his beater away. He’s beautiful—every dip and every curve beyond perfect. He steps toward you again—one hand on the desk for support while the other explores your body. He’s quick, his hand slipping under your shirt and tugging it up and over your head.
He’s squeezing your breasts again, playing with the hem of your bra, fingers sliding underneath teasingly. You arch your back into his touch. “Please,” you whine. 
Logan smirks, his nails brushing the underside of your breasts before traveling to your back—to your bra clasp. In the blink of an eye, the clasp is undone, and Logan is sliding the straps down your arms, throwing the bra to the floor. 
He drinks you in, his eyes slowly trailing up and down your body. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispers, shaking his head. He settles in between your legs as he lowers over you again—one hand pins your wrists above your head, keeping you from reaching out and touching him, while he traces and strokes your stomach with the other. 
He’s so close—so impossibly close—but he hasn’t kissed you yet. You want to feel the warmth of his lips, the curve of his smile against you. “How could you ever think I hated you?” His hand slides up your body, finally cupping your right breast and brushing over your nipple. You shudder underneath him. 
You curse under your breath. “I-I just thought you did. N-never seemed like you liked me,” you say, smiling at how different things are now. 
Logan shakes his head, pinching your nipple before moving to the other breast. His forehead rests against yours as he toys with you. “I wanted you this whole time, darlin’.” His confession washes over you, and he finally presses his lips to yours. 
It’s all-consuming, the way he moves against you, the way he fits into you perfectly. His lips are smooth and addicting, like a drug you can’t get enough of. The kiss is slow and hard, but you can feel the need behind it—the intention. 
“Want you,” you say against his lips, squirming underneath him, trying to break your hands free from his pin. But he doesn’t budge—he simply smiles against you—his mouth still on yours. You try again, more honest this time. “N-need you.”
“I know, sweetheart,” he breathes, kissing your pulse point, and then the hollow of your throat. “But I’m gonna take my time with you.” 
He nips at your collarbone, his lips trailing down the center of your chest. He licks a long stripe across your breast, his mouth latching on to your nipple, sucking softly. You moan his name as he travels to the other side, repeating his actions, his tongue teasing you. He continues his course down your body, taking in every inch of you, savoring you. 
Logan kisses your belly button and stops at the hem of your shorts. He looks up at you, his eyes dark and filled with lust. He slowly yanks at the waistband, pulling your shorts down your legs, revealing the lacey lavender panties you’re wearing underneath. 
“Pretty,” he murmurs, pressing a chaste kiss right above your clit. You want him to rip the lace from your legs, but he doesn’t. He sits there, staring as his fingers climb up your inner thigh. It’s achingly slow, but his fingers finally brush over your folds, your arousal soaking through your panties. “Been hiding this the whole time?” He asks, his head cocking to the side, stroking your clit through the fabric. 
“I-I...” You can’t find the words, his touch numbing your mind, stopping all coherent thoughts. 
He hooks his fingers into the waistband of your panties. “So fucking wet,” he grunts, pulling them down your legs. “No more hiding, princess.”
You’re laid bare for him, your legs hanging over the edge of the desk. He kneels before you like he’s at an altar, praying to you, worshiping you. You swallow at the sight of him as he brings his face closer to your heat. You can feel his breath fan against your folds, your clit. 
“Logan, please. Need you so—” 
And then his face is buried in your cunt, his tongue licking a long stripe through your folds and up to your clit. His hands slip under your legs, grabbing your thighs tightly, pulling you closer to him, and forcing you in place.  “Tastes so good,” he mumbles against you, his lips wrapping around your clit and sucking roughly. One of his hands slips out from under your thigh, finding your folds and sweeping through them gently. 
Logan’s beard scratches deliciously against you as his tongue laps relentlessly. His fingers prod your entrance, spreading your slick. You’re ready to beg again, to whimper and whine, but he’s shoving two of his long fingers deep inside—down to the knuckles—before you can complain. 
“Fuck, you’re tight,” he huffs between laps, his fingers still inside you. He slides out and thrusts back in—deeper this time. 
“Logan,” you whimper, as he hits that sweet spot inside you. “Feels so good.” He smiles against you, his tongue circling around your clit. “You f-feel so good.”
“Oh yeah?” His teeth graze your core ever so slightly, and you jolt at the sudden feeling. Your walls tighten around him, squeezing him. He notices immediately. “You like that?” He chides, pumping his fingers in and out, quickening his pace. 
“Y-yes,” you choke out. Logan’s working you through it, gentle praises flowing from his lips as he laps at you. You can feel yourself getting closer—the pleasure reaching its peak. He adds more pressure with his tongue, sucking harder. “Logan I—”
“I know,” he mumbles, plunging deep inside you, his tongue lapping at you like he hasn’t eaten in months. “Can feel the way you’re squeezing my fingers.” 
His thumb strokes your thigh comfortingly—his grip still strong, holding you in place. His eyes are locked on yours, watching your every move, like a predator watching its prey. You know he loves the way you’re squirming under his touch, the way you throw your head back when his teeth graze over your clit.
There’s lust in his eyes, and desire too. But you can see the adoration, the need to have you close, to bury himself inside you. If he could climb under your skin, he would. If he could worship at your throne, he would. You can feel it in the way he pushes into you, the way he swallows you like he’ll never get to eat again—never get to have you again. 
And that’s when the tension breaks—snaps in half so easily. Your muscles contract, walls fluttering around him, taking him deeper. “Logan I’m…” 
“That’s it, pretty girl,” he husks, “Let go for me. Wanna taste you on my tongue.” His words, his smell, his touch—he’s everywhere—filling your senses. He rides out your orgasm, pumping in and out as you come undone underneath him. It’s pure bliss, perfect release—more perfect than anything you’ve ever felt before. 
And it’s because it’s Logan. It has always been Logan. 
His fingers rub against your walls, his pace slowing. He laps gently at your clit as he carefully pulls out. He lifts his face from your cunt, your arousal dripping down his chin. Logan stands, taking the two fingers that were plunged deep inside you and bringing them to his lips. His mouth wraps around the digits and he sucks softly. Your breath hitches in your throat at the sight of him savoring the taste of you. His fingers slip out with a pop, and he smiles.
That fucking smile. So goddamn cocky.
Logan grabs his belt, undoing his buckle and slipping the belt away. He’s unbuttoning his jeans, pulling down the zipper, hooking his thumbs into his waistband, and slipping off the denim and his boxers in one quick move. His cock springs up to his stomach, and your jaw drops at the sight of him. 
You sit up as Logan steps in between your legs, his erection pressing against your stomach as he slots into you. He brings his hands to your hips, gripping tightly, and you wrap your legs around his waist. 
He lays you down on the desk, hovering over you, balancing on his forearm as his free hand guides his cock to your entrance. He captures your lips in a kiss as he slides through your folds, notching against your clit. 
“Couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he whispers between kisses, his tip slipping in your entrance teasingly, and then slipping back out. “You’re so perfect.” He slips in again just a bit but doesn’t move. “Can’t believe you thought I hated you…”  
And then he’s plunging into you, sinking down to the hilt. “…When I wanted you this entire fucking time, pretty girl.”
His hand leaves his cock and finds your clit, stroking lightly. You’re already close, still overstimulated from your first orgasm. Logan hasn’t moved, his cock still deep inside from his first thrust. “Logan,” you mumble, helpless underneath him. He finally pulls out and pushes back in again—somehow deeper this time—bottoming out. You moan at the feeling. 
“That what you needed?” He growls, building his pace, his hips rutting into yours. “Needed me to fuck you?” His words alone could make you come. 
“Fuck, yes,” you answer as he pounds into you, his fingers drawing rough circles into your core. Logan isn’t restrained anymore—he isn’t taking his time like he said he would. He’s letting go, slamming into you, flicking your clit, taking what he wants. 
And fuck does it feel good. 
“You feel so fucking perfect,” Logan praises, biting your lower lip and kissing away the pain. “Doing so good for me, beautiful.” You can feel him rubbing against your walls, stretching you out, fitting inside you like he was always meant to be there. He’s right: it is perfect. 
Nothing will ever compare to this. 
Logan’s hips snap into yours, his cock hitting that sweet spot deep inside you with every single thrust. He’s still working your clit, chasing your orgasm, making you feel good. That adoration is still vibrant in his eyes, still rocking you to your core. 
You clench down around him, squeezing him, taking him in deeper. “Fuck,” he mutters, his pace faltering. He’s close, and so are you. He’s letting go, pumping harder, faster. “So tight, so warm,” he groans. “Such a good girl, letting me fuck you into this desk.” 
Your chests heave together—skin against skin. He’s so warm, so solid, so constant. You can feel yourself melting, sinking, slipping. “Lo…” You trail off, wrapping your legs tighter around him. 
He moans into your mouth. “Love it when you call me that, sweetheart.” He pinches your clit, lighting your skin ablaze. 
“I’m s-so close,” you stutter, stumbling over your words. 
Logan’s throat bobs as he fucks into you, fingers swirling your clit. “Gonna get you there, princess,” he pants. “Wanna feel you come on my cock.” You curse under your breath and Logan swallows the words with a kiss. You’re squeezing him tighter now—inches from the edge, and he knows. “That’s it, pretty girl,” he coos, stroking harder, pounding into you. “Come for me. Know you can do it.” 
You listen, your orgasm crashing into you. It’s uncontrollable—wave after wave of pleasure surging through your body. You’re a mess underneath him, arching your back as you let go. You’re seeing stars, heat flooding your vision. There aren’t words to describe the way you feel—the way that only Logan can make you feel. 
He’s close behind, rocking into you. His hand reaches under your back, lifting you so that he’s standing and you’re sitting up on the desk. The angle is brutal—giving him more room, more depth to fuck up and into you. It’s too much, but it’s just what he needs. 
“Wanna…” you trail off, struggling to get the words out. “Wanna f-feel you come too.”
“Fuck,” Logan curses, pressing his forehead to yours. “Gonna give you what you want. Always gonna give it to you.” And then he’s coming deep inside you. You can feel him filling you up, painting your walls. 
His thrusts slow as he finishes. He pumps in and out a few more times before slipping out of you, but he doesn’t pull away. He wraps his arms around you, keeping you pressed tightly to his chest. The contact is comforting—stabilizing—as you come down from your high. 
Silence fills the room as you melt into him. All those months spent thinking Logan hated you…how could you be such a fool? He was yours the whole time. 
He presses a chaste kiss to your temple. “I meant what I said, you know. About wanting you.” 
You smile softly, your head falling into the crook of his neck. “I never knew.” 
He shakes his head. “Still want you now.” 
“You have me,” you say, lifting your head to look up at him. He’s got that look—that glimmer—in his eyes again. It dawns on you that it isn’t just adoration.  It’s love. You know it’s love. Your breath hitches in your throat at the thought. 
“Good,” he says, pressing his forehead to yours again. “Because I’m not done with you yet.” 
“Yeah?” 
“Yeah,” he teases, his voice raspy and deep. “When can I see you again?” 
You laugh. “What are you doing after this?” 
He pauses, as if thinking through his mental calendar. And then he smirks that shit-eating, cocksure smirk. “You.” 
Well fuck. 
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orellazalonia · 1 month ago
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Found some footage of unhinged!reader training rookies:
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMS8vnswe/
(Hi! I love your works, you're amazing!!)
I’M DYING LOL AND IT WORKS SOMEHOW. So, that got me thinking how would she train them…. Now we turn it into a Drabble/blurb [Confession: I don’t know the difference between those two yet LOL] Happy reading! Also greetings! Thank you so much, always so nice seeing you around. Thanks for following along!!! :D
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Unqualified, Unhinged, and Unforgettable
Summary: A bunch of excited, hopeful rookies have the absolute displeasure honor of being trained under you.
Word Count: 700+
Main Masterlist | Earth’s Mightiest Headache Masterlist
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The rookies were excited. Nervous, but excited.
After all, they’d been assigned to training with one of the Avengers. A respected, battle-hardened legend. Probably someone like Steve Rogers. Or maybe Natasha Romanoff! God, even Sam Wilson would be incredible.
“Wait,” One of them whispered. “Who’s that?”
You walked onto the training mat holding a stick of string cheese like a cigarette, wearing mismatched socks and aviators. You pointed the cheese at them.
“Morning, nerds.”
The recruits glanced at each other.
“…Are you the trainer?” One asked hesitantly.
You bit the cheese, chewed, and nodded. “Absolutely. Avengers’ top strategic mind. Fun fact, I have never successfully used a revolving door. You’ll respect me soon enough though.”
One recruit hesitantly raised their hand. “Why are you barefoot?”
“I fight better when grounded to the earth’s vibrations,” You replied. “Also I couldn’t find my shoes.”
And so began the most absurd training session in S.H.I.E.L.D. history.
-
Hour 1:
You paired them off. “First, pick a partner. Then pretend they just betrayed you in a high-stakes casino heist.”
They hesitated, looking around at each other as they tried to process the instruction. You shouted, “Feel the betrayal! Feel the drama! Slap them if you need to!”
One poor recruit started sobbing. Another screamed, “I LOVED YOU, TYLER,” and tackled their partner into a fountain.
You applauded. “Amazing. Raw and painful. That’s real combat.”
-
Hour 2:
You rolled a blender onto the mat with duct tape, Christmas lights, and three timers.
“This,” You announced dramatically, “is your bomb.”
“That’s a blender,” Someone whispered slowly.
You leaned in, deadly serious. “That’s what they want you to think.”
The rookies huddled, genuinely trying to figure it out. One made the mistake of cutting the red wire (which was actually a Twizzler). The blender turned on and shot glitter everywhere.
“That was a decoy,” You told them solemnly. “Now you’re covered in regret and sequins.”
-
Hour 3:
You took them on a “field simulation” which turned out to be a surprise shopping trip to IKEA.
“Navigate this labyrinth. Assemble a chair. Use only hex keys and trauma.”
Two recruits got lost in the kitchen model displays. One called you from inside a wardrobe. You refused to help.
“If you can’t escape IKEA,” You said, eating a meatball with your bare hands, “How will you escape Hydra?”
-
Aftermath
When the rookies returned to HQ, some crying, some covered in glitter, and one holding an emotional support fern; they were never the same.
But they were better, somehow. Sharper and unpredictable. Capable of disarming actual bombs and Swedish furniture with nothing but rage and a plastic fork.
Bucky found you later in the common room, sitting on the couch, eating marshmallows with chopsticks and watching a documentary on nuclear fission at max volume. You were also wearing his hoodie, which meant you were either thriving or about to cause an international incident.
He leaned in the doorway, arms crossed. “You turned those rookies into emotionally unstable weaponized gremlins.”
You didn't look away from the TV. “I prefer the term ‘innovative prodigies.’”
“They challenged Sam to a duel using plungers and grief metaphors.”
“They need to learn how to weaponize emotion. That’s day three material.”
“They built a working trebuchet and launched my motorcycle onto the roof.”
You finally turned to look at him. “And did it not work?”
Bucky stared at you. “You trained them for one day.”
You gave him a slow blink, then gently offered him a marshmallow with the chopsticks. “You love me.”
“I love you,” He said flatly, taking the marshmallow. “I also think you might be a war crime in human form.”
You grinned. “That’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.”
He walked over and dropped his head into your lap with a tired sigh, arm slinging around your waist. “Next time you train anyone, I’m sedating you first.”
“Won’t happen but that’s fair,” You said, petting his hair with one chopstick. “But you have to admit… they’re kind of unstoppable now.”
From down the hallway came a loud bang, a screech of victory, and someone yelling, “FOR SCIENCE AND THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!”
You sipped juice from your “World’s Best Trainer” mug and said softly, “My legacy begins.”
Bucky just groaned. “God help us all.”
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he-calls-me-kitten · 1 year ago
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Sugar, Spice and a Tempting Vice
VA! MC x OM! Characters
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"Hey Levi, any new game recommendations for me? I just finished the last lot of books Satan suggested." You asked, plopping down your head on his shoulder to look at his screen.
"M-MC! You have to warn me before you do such things!" He muttered, his ears turning red as he scrolled some webpages pages for you. "But okay yeah these are the new games that are out recently... see anything you like?"
"Oh my God! It's out it's out!" You pointed excitedly at the screen. "Pretty Little Things is out! Finally!! I was dying to tell you all about it!"
Levi visibly stiffened up. "You-you were waiting for this particular game to come out? Are you sure it's not another game with a similar sounding name?"
"Nah uh this is the exact same one. Look up the list of voice actors in this game!"
"WHAT?! MC WHY IS YOUR NAME IN HERE?????"
"Yes! This was the new part-time job I couldn't tell you about since it was still in production! Im so glad you can just play it now!"
"...it's uh ready for download on all platforms already...so which character did voice?"
"Oh spoiler alert, my character is the only one that doesn't have a name, you have assign me one, the same way you name yourself. They even designed the characters to resemble all the VA's and add in some of their personalities, isn't that sweet?"
"Hahaha y-yeah definitely sweet! I'll be sure to check it out soon!"
"Great! Lemme know what you think of the game okay?!" You squeezed him in a small hug before you left.
Later in the Demon Brothers only group chat:
Levi: Code Red! Code Red! ASHSKSHSKSKSJJSKKS
Mammon: WHAT WHAT THAT MEANS AN MC RELATED EMERGENCY RIGHT??
Asmo: OMG are they OKAY?? Should I go check up on them in their room!?!
Satan: I'm already on my way.
Mammon: NOT BEFORE ME YOU'RE NOT!
Belphie: Is MC hurt in anyway?
Beel: Did they pass out from hunger?! I can bring them emergency snacks right away
Lucifer: Can you lot not lose your minds everytime MC is mentioned? Pathetic. Levi, calm down and tell us what's wrong.
Beel: But Lucifer I just saw you hurrying up the stairs to MC's room too...
Satan: Typical Lucifer. By the way, MC is perfectly fine, happy even. Levi what are you on about?
Mammon: Yeah MC can't stop smiling! It's a good thing that happened, you idiot! Why would you scare us like that?
Asmo: Omg apparently MC voice acted in a new game! Levi I need you to download it for me ASAP please!
Beel: Me too, please.
Belphie: Me three.
Lucifer: I've already done it, you all can do it yourselves if you could do your own work for once.
Satan: Oh shut up, MC just did it for you right now as they did it for me.
Levi: It's a Dating Simulator. With multiple H-rated DLC endings. And MC is one of the dateables.
...
Levi: Hello?!! Did you guys not see my message?!
Levi: Seriously no reaction?! You guys aren't freaked out by this?!?
Beel: I just heard several doors opening and closing at once.
Asmo: Oh come Levi, I think you already know what our reaction is Levi ♥️ How can we possibly hold in our excitement after such a news!?
Levi: Are you all downloading the game together?!!! Y'all are hogging the bandwidth too much, my download speed has gone way down!!
Simeon: Hey
Simeon: I heard some demons in a cafe, raving about a game where MC plays one of the main characters?
Solomon: Indeed MC just sent us all a link right now.
Simeon: Oh is that so? I'll get Luke to help me download it after he's done with his.
Levi: Luke is playing it too?! I don't think it's appropriate given it's certain hidden endings!!
Barbatos: MC already made sure of it. He only has access to the sibling and friendship routes. It's a special version they added for all ages.
Diavolo: It already has downloads in the ten thousands. I'm really glad to see how MC is beloved by Devildom.
Levi: Are NONE of you affected by the fact that there are erotic routes with MC's VOICE?!!
Solomon: Oh I personally cannot wait hear my adorable apprentice's performance.
Barbatos: Ahem. I'd rather not comment on it.
Simeon: Same.
Diavolo: Same.
Levi: Sigh. We really are just a helpless lot at the mercy of MC.
To be continued...
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kedreeva · 3 months ago
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Transparencies are a a heavy load but would still balance out to be a better choice than all the different permutations if that's what you mean.
What kind of interface would you want for peahen simulator? Wasn't there some dragon breeding site ages ago?
Yeah, that was what I meant! And flight-rising is still around, but it's not... that kind of thing isn't really the same. The parents each have three colors, and each offspring randomly gets assigned one in each "spot" (primary color, secondary color, tertiary color), and they can't carry the other as a het. Same for the pattern "genes." So, it's COOL and all, but it has very shallow game mechanics as far as breeding goes. Even compared to some other breeding sims games that track genotypes for generations.
Very honestly, something like this would work just fine (this one is.... ugly as sin, but it is what it is), but we don't quite know peafowl genetics with the same depth as mouse genetics so the different autosomal genes would just kind of have to be treated like they aren't on the same chromosome until someone proves they are. So, drop downs for each autosomal color (treating each color as non-allelic, so each color would need a drop down for wt/het/homo), a drop down for sex-linked (since they're "alleles" in the sense that you can only have one per sex chromosome. except in the case of peach. because peafowl did a weird thing), a drop down for pattern, and drop downs for the leucistic genes. Select all the genes from the drop downs, hit calculate, it spits out a genotype, and each genotype codes to a phenotype. It doesn't even NEED a photo, but it would be cool to have a photo show up, OR to have a second page that does like this thing for horses. Which isn't a calculator, but would help people visualize their result.
There's ONE more problem- some stuff doesn't always show the same in the phenotype, and some stuff doesn't breed true. Het pied, het white, and dark pied all CAN show in the phenotype with white flights and a white throat latch, but they also sometimes show NOTHING. Het white eye CAN show in the phenotype with some white eyes or body silvering, but it can also show nothing. Pied x pied gives three different offspring genotypes, and idk if it's possible to do multiple results, with or without percentages. Hets would give the same problem of multiple results. What happens when someone picks a complicated bird and you end up with
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It's daunting. But maybe there's scripts that can produce that?? like list all the combinations. I don't know enough about coding to know if that's even possible. especially with the sex linked stuff
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veiled-harvest · 23 days ago
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Tough Love; Crush or be Crushed | Mainstream!Mark Grayson x Bully!Reader | Chapter: 1
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Content Warnings; mentions of suicide , light angst, arguments ,light cussing, misunderstanding
Mark has known the reader since middle school never really understanding why she hated his guts.
Word count: 4.5k ~
Insufferable
That's how you’d describe Mark Grayson, the charming, unfathomably upbeat bastard you had the displeasure of sitting across from in math. Your least favorite subject with your least favorite boy.
And he couldn’t understand why. The two of you shared friends, classes even interests, but from 7th grade to your junior year of high school, you despised him entirely.
“Y/N…Do you possibly need help with the next problem” Mark noticed your eyebrows immediately knit and felt goosebumps rise on his skin. He’d fought deadly monsters , murderous world ending villains and even his mothers wrath when he failed to do a chore but it all paled in comparison to that look , it managed to activate fear in places he didn’t know were possible.
“The day I possibly need any help from you is the day the gun I choose for my final moment decides to jam—”
“A no would have done wonders.”
“But a ‘no’ wouldn’t drive the point home and kiss it goodnight”
“You ….want me to kiss you?”
“Thank god this isn’t English.”
“Which we have next.” The smug on his face causes you to retract any words you may have wanted to say.
You opened your mouth to respond , your nerves got the best of you but you give him a glare as he beamed at you, satisfied with your defeated silence.
This little thing you had; been going on since late middle school when you just moved into town.
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“Aaaand this will be your locker Y/N! The combination is 26-7-“ you were doing your best to pay attention but a class seemed to be making its way back from an activity rather loudly and you failed to catch the last numbers of the combination.
But you couldn’t care less
Time and time again your mother moved you city to city ,state to state but it was all the same , if this were a game you’d be doing victory laps by now. You’d hold the world record for speed running “New Student Simulator” Memorizing new names ,new faces ,new halls ,new classes all at the drop of a hat.
At first you were sensitive to the constant shifts in your environment , but now stripped raw of any further emotions when notified of a move ;you didn’t even sigh you’d anticipate the announcement already prepared to re-pack your belongings in such routine fashion and be ready so early you’d have to left over time to say good bye to place you called home for how ever long you were here.
Luckily the teacher guiding you though the new building had written down the combination before dropping you off at your first class despite it being the 2nd for the other students.
The awkwardness of being introduced to new faces was left behind in the 6th grade. You quickly wave and made your way to the back with no plans to remember the faces you passed.
It being the 2nd official day back from summer break meant you only missed out on seating arrangements and the yearly orientation that included old and new student reminding you yet again how out of place you were everywhere you went, which you were pleased with.
Missing day 1 saved you from the fomo of having to wait til all the friends snuck to pick each other and take what ever seat was left.
The teacher had placed you next to Mark Grayson. He smiled at you from across the room as you made your way to the seat beside him. The seat was already pulled out for you ,which you had watch him scramble to slide it out seconds before.
Your lips barely formed a returning smile while hanging your back pack by it’s straps on the back of your chair.
Your next movement was practically muscle memory; not acknowledging person beside you beyond a half smile— head down laying in your folded arms ,resting on the cold surface of the desk.
As another student passed out the assignment for the day. you feel a nudge on your right arm which you assumed was the eraser end of a pencil.
“So I’m Mark , what’s uh your name again? l didn’t catch it when the teacher said it, my bad”— you barely turn to face him still buried in your arms.
“…Y/N” You hesitate purely because you were taken aback by his effort to learn your name.
“Cool, Cool….-You missed the first day yesterday, but you didn’t miss much Oh- wait maybe you did, apparently there was a fight in gym 4th period between these 8th graders and-“ Mark was basically filling you in on the things you “missed” as if it had any importance.
You wanted to be annoyed , to tell him to shut up but some part of you wanted him to continue his senseless update so you didn’t and just peaked at him through the loose strands of your hair.
“Hey—If we have anymore classes together I’ll let you know what the 8th graders fought over !” Mentally you scoff at the gesture settled on nodding in acknowledging while maintaining your hunched posture.
“Um sure..” Your choice of words got stuck in your throat so a default answer took it's place.
The last time you felt this tightness in your throat was back in the 4th grade when an older kid helped you on the play ground. It was like your stomach was doing cartwheels down a hill. You nearly vomited on his sneakers but through devine intervention he had already ran off before you could do something foolish . Now your brain was already making the efforts to re FORGET the memory.
The assignment was meant to be done with partner and you weren’t exactly looking forward to having to engage to even more with your chatty desk buddy.
Suddenly one of the boys seated ahead of you turned to face Mark.
“Pssst Mark, if I give you the answers you gotta come play catch with us after school today, screw sinus dog-“
“Woah Excuse you it’s ‘Seance Dog’ those words don’t even sound the same dude” who you assume were friends of his seated a few feet away ahead laugh at his weak-aggression, a boy adjacent to you passes Mark a torn piece of paper which you presume have the answers you each seeked. He snatched the paper with rolling eyes with a smirk that hitched your breath.
‘Fuck’
Your eyebrows knitted as you buried your head deeper in your folded arms once again seeking refuge in the temporary darkness. Pencil hit paper with lighting speed and he circled the answers corresponding with the letters jotted down on the note.
“Here Y/N I’m done with it you can use it too , only has to sacrifice an evening with seance Dog to get it” You leaves it next to your paper as you lift your head. Why was he being so friendly to you, you’ve barely spoke to him in the 20 minutes he’s known you yet he’s passing answers to you.
“But why?”
“Why what? Why’s his name Seance dog or.-“
“No, Why are you being so nice to me”
“Why not ?” , a laugh trailed off the childish rebuttal, signing his name at the top of his sheet with a smiley face.
You’re sitting up now, trying every bit you can to conceal the blush that fought to be noticed. To the best of your ability you fill your own sheet of paper.
If it weren’t the fact Mark was talking to his friends ,he’d notice your subtle glances at him. But he turned to you so quickly you nearly jumped yourself
“Do you read any comics Y/N , regardless you should read Seance Dog!”
“Here he goes-“
“It’s good a you guys know it!”
“It’s about a magic dog Mark.”
“Uh no it’s way more than that, What ever , Y/N I have the 1st issue of it in my locker ! I got an extra copy to introduce it to other people, maybe I can give it to you too” the 3 pairs of eyes lay on you , that familiar feeling of anxiety crept up your back and your throat goes dry.
Yet that glowing smile Mark offered you again eased the dreadful anticipation encouraging you to speak.
“Fine I’ll read about the dumb dog” —you shook your head amused at his dramatic expression, in that moment you became a temporary god.
“Oh no he’s got another, don’t fall for his tricks once you read the first issue you’ll be forced to read them all!” The boys laugh at their own warning and turn front facing to continue their previous conversation.
No teasing , no song about you and mark kissing in a tree, no odd looks for taking up his offer.
There you sat bit shocked but relieved , the tedious mini game trampled. You found yourself looking at Mark again ignoring your previous endeavor not do so.
Your lips part to say something but the bell interrupted and startled you. Mark collected his things and then both of your papers and you instinctively reach for it aswell.
“I got it Y/N, I’ll turn it in for you, I know where all my classes but you’re gonna need all the time you can to get to your next class”
“What makes you say that—?”
“Beacuse it’s across the school in the C wing, you’re gonna wanna leave the classroom take a left back towards the mains office then go all the way to end of that hall there you will see the science hall” You take a mental note of the directions but question how he even knew your next class.
“How do you even know I have scienc-“
“Your schedule was sitting on the table between us all period ,Duh . Which also lets me know we have 3 whole classes together! See you in Math”
“Oh , bye I gu-“ You failed to say farewell before he already left you there at your shared seating. You watched him place both papers on the teachers desk along with the other students work.
You didn’t have time to dwell on this you had to go to your next class. But the whole way there your cheeks felt heated you, couldn’t not think about the kind boy you were gratefully placed next to in history especially after he had been so nice to you.
It wouldn’t be the last time either.
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A faint groan leaves your body as you slide a hand down your face,that day was so distant yet it left an everlasting impression on how you viewed Mark.
The moment you met you’d knew this was going end poorly so you kept it to yourself. You stayed “friends” , you hung out , laughed together , had many friends in common but you took it upon yourself to draw that line in the sand.
To you , Mark was a ray of light whenever he walked in a room.
To Mark , you. from what you gathered , were the funny girl he’s known since middle school
To imagine anything further would have been ridiculous despite the universe placing you two in situations to suggest other wise.
Your first line of defense ; being as mean as humanly possible. It hurt at first seeing his face twinge with slight discomfort when you’d tease him, gifting harsh comebacks to his compliments.
At times it felt like it was hurting you more than it was harming him.
Luckily, you kept a journal, jotting down all the things you dared not mutter. It was reckless; anyone could walk behind you, or take a seat and see your countless lines of pined devotion. Each entry dated, every poem signed, your biggest secret placed neatly on the dotted lines.
The journal was atleast the length of your hands placed side by side, the cover was black leather with no indication of owner ship and the first page sat a lone Seance Dog sticker that was long over due to be replaced.
But Mark gave that sticker to you so long ago you couldn’t bare or wouldn’t dare to rid the sheet of it’s presence.
It was on the corner of your desk so close to the reason of its existence. Mark always had some proximity to the secret bound notebook.
He’d questioned it once before but the time he placed his hands upon it you freaked out and snatched it from his grasp causing your small group of friends to collectively raise an eyebrow at the action.
You managed to lie and say your therapist (whom you didn’t have) told you it was for when you couldn’t handle your emotions at times ,that it meant so much to you to have a space of your own , losing it would leave you in ruin , so they let it go, following with Mark apologizing for making you uncomfortable.
Back to math ; Mark was focused on the work , he seemed to also be struggling with , which now that that your thinking about it is probably why he turned to you for help
The girl next to him rolled her eyes at you and scooted closer to mark unbeknownst to him. Hannah, she wasn’t a big fan of how you spoke to Mark so she’d ‘ intervened’ where she deemed fit.
He always helped you, but never knew how to ask for it himself. You grab your pencil and reach for his paper.
“Hey- I was getting”
“Sure you were, start here then move on to this part of the equation, you were going to confuse yourself again” You peered at Hannah, already fixing her self back in her seat with a satisfied look on her face almost as if she did that simply to make you act on your ‘rare asks of kindness’ almost like she knew you needed the extra push.
“Y/N, you’re—- a genius where have you been all my life.”
You grew used to his sickly sweet nature , if it had been another time you’d be stuttering and adverting your gaze but luckily you managed to control the surges of excitement that rung in your heart when ever he spoke to you.
“What —ever.” You dismiss the praise continuing to work on your own work.
Between solving equations you look between Mark and his paper.
‘He still draws smiley faces near his name’
Your hand covers your mouth to hid the small smile that couldn’t be contained.
All his little quirks made falling for him inevitable. He still played with his pencil whenever he was stumped on things. Certain corners of his papers slightly folding ,his hands always begging to be busy. Mark still doodled in the margins of his class work even getting scolded from teachers and teased by others ,but you? You’d never
He’d doodled on random things , Sticky notes , receipts , any empty sheet he could get his pencil on. He’d leave them behind like trash, only for them to be your treasure.
You always look around before hand already scheming when he walks off from where the doodling transpired and your fly in swiping your golden ticket. Without lying you’d admit this had only happened 3 times.
One of seance dog , of course.
One of the math teacher with demon horns
And one of —You.
It was a stick figure where you were sticking your tongue out , you remember playfully slapping his arm asking when the hell you’ve ever made that face.
These treasures tucked away in your journal only ever being seen by yours truly.
This crush was killing you softly , but you were ready to die in bliss.
Math came and went, you mark and William luckily had English with Ms.Riverwood together so you wouldn’t be alone with Mr.wonderful in the last period of the day.
You sat at a separate table but the boys were still nearby, close enough to talk at least. Not even William was aware of your conundrum. You did a good job a building a wall around yourself. There were times He’d laugh at your mean comments towards his own best friend and there were others he winced at the remarks.
In this period you’d get more of an opportunity for air, ever since you met this boy you’d been unintentionally attached at the hip.
Every year you’d share a majority of your classes, Mark was always there. If only he knew how you felt. Would he laugh ,would he distance himself? Would you lose the first genuine friend you ever made all because you failed to control yourself.
You weren’t about to risk it. Mark was too good to lose because of silly teen age hormones.
On the odd chances your English teacher was too tired and swamped with grading to teach , she’d instruct the class to write about anything , everything which would be used as extra credit towards your final grade.
You always write romantic stories about random couple and your teacher would encourage you to read them for the class.
But these kids have seen you cuss out men twice your size ,to suddenly serenade them with words you’d only whisper to yourself under your covers would be acting out a nightmare in your own behalf ,so you’d always turn her down.
Work was done fast as usually and you reached in your bag to get your little black book.
You freeze , the spot where it’s usually tucked away in your bag, vacant , your heart practically dropped to your ass.
‘No fucking way.’ Did you really leave it in math class—
You jump from your chair and made your way to your teachers desk. She raises an eyebrow behind her frames surprised you of all people stood before her in urgency.
“Ms.Riverwood I really need a hall pass”
“Y/N? what’s wrong ? Class isn’t out for another—20 minutes or so. ”
“I um—“ You lean in closer and lower your panicked tone to a whisper. “I left something very important in the Math wing could I go get get it? Please” She’s hesitant for a second before realizing what it was referring to.
She only knew of its existence because youd left it in her class many a time for safe keeping.
“Alright , no need to take a pass , homework will be online , hurry but don’t run.”
“Thank you so so so much I’ll stay after tommorow and help grade papers — anything” You rush back to your seat getting a look from a few students confused by your rush to leave. William looks up from his work noticing aswell but you were already making your way out the classroom to see Mark had noticed you nearly run out the room too.
‘Please be empty , please be there’ At first you were speed walking but then grew to a full sprint down the hall to your previous class.
The room was empty and luckily unlocked with no math teacher in sight and no book to be seen. The brewing anxiety in your chest made your heart pound, part is you was trying to convince yourself maybe your math teacher had the book in his possession
But the other part started making you think of the others who could have found it —Or worse if Mark would find it.
‘Lost and found’
You remember your math teacher Mr. A, saying once before he doesn’t like a messy room and will deliver any items left behind to the lost and found. The squeaks of sneakers were faint to your ears as you dashed to the lower level of the school. A few students moving to avoid colliding with you as you.
Finally you made it down the hall where lost and found would be. You slow down being grateful for the lost time you made up for but stop in your tracks at the echos of laughter nearby.
“Yo, ‘His eyes burned with an auburn hue in the summer’ ? This is so fucking cringe”
“LOL who wrote this shit bro.”
You knew that phrase, you commonly referred to his eyes in that exact manner.
A group of kids has already discovered your book, your delicate heart burned with its own humiliated flame. You clench your jaw ,gripping one of the straps on your book-bag , trying to catch your breathe.
You weren’t about to let them belittle you this way, you muster up enough courage to walk over but find it hard to mask the rage boiling beneath your skin. There were 4 students surrounding the window in the wall deemed the lost and found , one of which was a hall monitor given the atrocious yellow sash they had to wear. Despite the alarms bell blaring in your head you approached them determined to retrieve your prized possession.
“Since when are we allowed to go through people stuff down here? Give me that journal-“
The boy holding your journal shuts snaps it shut in his palm cutting you off, proceeding to wave it in the air.
“No shot this belongs to you! You’re a fucking weirdo, I should really turn this in to an admin.”
“Girl this is next level creepy , this is shit they’d use as evidence in those true crime documentaries” At this point your face was definitely turning a scarlet shade from a mixture of rage and embarrassment.
To think you were just dwelling on possible exposure; talk about subtle foreshadowing
“It’s mine and you’re going to give it to me. My names on the first page signed ‘Y/N’ in bright glittery blue ink please just- give it back” a strong sense of fear hid anoungst at your demand.
“You write this creepy shit an- are you seriously about to cry over this?” They began to laugh at you as you tried to stay composed.
Time was running out and you needed to get this back before irreprehensible damage was done to your ego.
“Guys If she said give it back, give it back.” You spun around like a deer infront of headlights.
Mark came to what he presumed was your rescue to find you nearly to tears and at the point at exploding all at once. You tear your eyes from his and back to the group of students, some continue their laughing other giving mark a look of great disdained.
“Dude Mark if you read this shit-“ “I don’t need to, give her the book back you guys are being dicks” They share looks yet again and the same boy tosses the book your way which you manage to catch and hold so close like a raft in rushing water.
The hall monitor looked between you then Mark and was quick to pick up on the correlation to why you were so panicked when he approached.
“Wait— Mark you know Y/n?” She asked with a hint of guilt in her one , her friends continued to make jokes between each other.
“Yeah ,since middle school why?”
Who ever this chick was seemed to be the only one able to pick up on the true meaning of the book but you were quicker, You grabbed Mark by his arm and practically drag him away from the group of students who began to question the one girl amoungst them that figured it out but she told them to shut up and drop it .
You were a safe distance away at this point and their voices faded quickly deeper in the hall. Your head was hot and your chest was so tight it felt like it would rip through your skin at any second.
What if he found out right there infront of those ass holes what you were really there for. Your senes were still horrid, you didn’t realize how fast you were walking or how hard you were holding onto Mark.
“Wait. Y/N —slow down”
“Y/N!” Your head snaps up with mark now holding your arm. You hadn’t realized you were back in the English hall too. Each part of you was burning.
“Are you okay? I’m sorry I didn’t follow you sooner-“
“Why were you even there?“ You’re unable to face him , it was impossible to wrap your head around what had nearly happened .
“Why not? If I hadn’t been the-“
“I could have handle it on my own ,Mark” The barrier preventing you from meeting his gaze vanished and anger took the wheel.
“I didn’t call for you I sure as hell I didn’t ask for you to be there, I’m a big girl Grayson I could have-“
“But I’m your friend Y/N-“
“I didn’t ask for you to do that either” Your quickly realize what had you had said and in that moment you see a face you’ve never seen him conjure before; genuine hurt. Mark swallows taking a step back while tucking a hand in his pocket and the other reaches to rub his neck. Students who had left class early whisper as they passed by.
“Ouch”
“Wait Mark I didn’t mean that I’m so sorry-“
Before he can say anything the final bell rings. Tears prick in your eyes , his hurt turned to concern and Mark attempts to reach for you but you pull away clutching your journal even closer to your heart.
Jesus ,He looked like you kicked his dog. When your eyes met a few tears fell and you fully turn away from him and head towards the nearest exit before anyone else could see you like this.
Mark watches you vanish into the incoming swarm of students , images of your damp face still fresh in his mind. He just stood there as kids told him to move , he remained still until William lightly shoved his back pack in his arms chest.
“Mark What-happened? Y/N left then you left..? Now- you’re here and Y/N isn’t.” Mark looked at him for a moment then back to the direction he last saw you.
“I—Don’t know..”
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Instead of taking the bus along with your friends, you choose to walk. Clinging to the binded heart hidden on your arms. Amidst your trudge home you felt vibrations buzz against your thigh. You stop and grab your phone reading the messages left behind by your friends.
William ? where do you go ? Are you alright . Text me back
Jess Uh babe, you missed the bus ;(( you good? call me < 3
Loser Are you okay? : ( I'm sorry if i messed up , Call me or dont. I'm really sorry Y/N
You feel tears again but your phones chimes once more and your grip grew tighter on the edges of the device when you read the last message
Loser You’re always going to be my friend ‘Nickname’ even if I’m not yours… Ttyl
‘Friend’
That’s all you’d ever be to him.
How much longer were you going to run away from this, how much more could you keep up the charade, to masquerade this aggressive persona to keep him at bay, avoiding him wasn’t enough , the violence cascaded in your words only did damage.
He’d have to cease existence before you’d even attempt to grasp the concept of living beyond the pages you sought refuge in.
You hurt him all for the sake of protecting the fantasy you decorated pages with. Bur he was the sending you texts of apology.
The time you put into each sequence of words couldn’t replace what stood before you.
It was going to burn right through you and you would let it
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richrdjones · 1 year ago
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airybcby · 6 months ago
Note
HIYAA i really wanted to send a request for your more than married event 😛 can i request Karasu and 🍑🍦thank you xx
HEYYY!! ofc !
a karasu tabito peachy ice cream :)
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જ⁀♡⊹。° you can hear it in the silence
♡ a/n — for my more than a married couple event!
♡ content — karasu tabito x gn! reader, gn! reader, best friends to lovers, nickname like 'babe' used (once), they are the silliest billies, flirting, oblivious friends to lovers
♡ synopsis — karasu tobito had always just been your best friend, but could this program change that?
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When you stepped into the apartment for the marriage simulation, the last person you expected to see lounging on the couch was Karasu Tabito.
He looked up from his phone, his signature smirk appearing the moment he saw you. “Well, well, well. Look who’s my lucky partner.”
You blinked, caught off guard. “Tabito? You’re in this program?”
“Surprised?” he teased, leaning back like he owned the place. “What can I say? I thought I’d add ‘model husband’ to my list of talents.”
You rolled your eyes, setting your bag down. “Yeah, that’s a real stretch.”
He laughed, the sound warm and familiar. It was so him—effortlessly charming, with just a hint of mischief.
You and Karasu had been friends for years, ever since middle school. He was the kind of person who lit up every room he walked into, his confidence and humor making him impossible to ignore.
But while most people saw only his cocky, carefree exterior, you knew there was more to him than that. You’d seen him at his lowest, too—nursing injuries, doubting himself, pushing harder than anyone else to chase his dream.
And now, here you were, thrown into a “marriage” with him.
“What are the odds?” he said, still grinning as you unpacked.
“Apparently higher than I thought,” you muttered, trying not to think too hard about how small the apartment was—or how close you’d be to him for the next few weeks.
At first, it wasn’t much different from hanging out as friends.
Karasu made it easy, cracking jokes and treating the whole thing like some elaborate prank. “You know,” he said one evening while you cooked dinner, “we could totally mess with the other couples. Pretend we’re, like, madly in love or something. Really sell it.”
You snorted. “You think you can pull that off?”
He gasped, clutching his chest like you’d wounded him. “I’m offended. I’m very convincing.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Prove it.”
Without missing a beat, he turned to you, his expression shifting into something softer, more serious. “Babe,” he said, his voice low and intimate. “You’re the only one for me.”
You froze, heat rushing to your face. “Okay, stop,” you said, shoving him lightly.
He laughed, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes that you couldn’t quite place.
As the days went on, the lines between “pretend” and “real” started to blur.
It was in the little things—how he always made sure your coffee was exactly how you liked it, or how he stayed up late to help you with the program’s assignments, even when he didn’t have to.
And then there were the moments you couldn’t ignore, like the way his gaze lingered on you just a little too long, or how his teasing felt less like a joke and more like a test.
You tried to brush it off. After all, this was Karasu. He flirted with everyone.
But then one night, everything changed.
It was late, and the two of you were sitting on the couch, the glow of the TV casting soft shadows across the room.
“I’m glad it’s you,” he said suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence.
You turned to him, confused. “What?”
He shrugged, not meeting your eyes. “This whole thing. I’m glad it’s with you.”
Your heart skipped a beat. “Tabito…”
“I’m serious,” he said, his voice quieter than usual. “I know I act like an idiot sometimes, but…you mean a lot to me. More than I probably let on.”
You stared at him, your chest tightening. “Why are you telling me this now?”
He laughed softly, running a hand through his hair. “Because I’m tired of pretending it’s not true. And because I’m an idiot who doesn’t want to lose his best friend without at least trying.”
“Trying what?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
He finally looked at you, his dark eyes filled with something raw and unguarded. “This. Us. Whatever this could be.”
You kissed him first.
It wasn’t planned, and it definitely wasn’t part of the simulation. But the moment your lips met, everything else faded away—the program, the rules, the fear of ruining your friendship.
It was just you in this moment, save for the little point total displayed in your living room going up by 10 points.
For the first time, you let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, this could work.
The program ended a week later, and you both stood outside the apartment, staring at the door as if crossing that threshold would change everything.
“So,” he said, slipping his hands into his pockets. “What now?”
You smiled, your heart swelling with hope. “Now we figure it out.”
He grinned, his usual confidence returning. “Good. Because I’m not letting you get rid of me that easily.”
You laughed, feeling lighter than you had in weeks.
Whatever came next, you knew you’d face it together.
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GOD I LOVE HIM
i hope you liked it!
likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!
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konansock · 3 months ago
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Mod Update: Club & Business Activity Expanded - MORE Business update!
Happy Simming, Simmers! After Business and Hobbies released, I tested my mod in the new system and found more opportuny, as well as bugs to be fixed! So here's a major update to the mod.
Bug Fixes:
Various Text and Images were missing from the first version, they're fixed in this new and improved update.
Tend Stall now officially works as intended.
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WooHoo Business:
Apparently this is one of the most anticipated feature of WooHoo Addon, but it wasn't working before, now it is.
The present activity WooHoo will still work with restrictions, for Simmers who just want customers to be intimate with their partners and sleep at a hotel.
New activity has been added: WooHoo with Small Business Employees (for customers) and WooHoo with Customers (for employees). You need to pair them up so customers have employees to ask for WooHoo. Don worry, they won't ask for WooHoo from random janitors who was only assigned the task 'Clean'!
They're now fully autonomous, and your small business even earns money from it! Charisma, Fitness and Romance skills affect the payout.
As customers, you can expect to check in your favorite small business for a casual WooHoo, too!
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Photo Studio:
I always wanted a way for my Sims to pay some Simoleons and take their photos. You can sort of simulate it with the updated Photography activity.
Employees will Tend Tripod along with Photo Studios now, and taking pictures for customers with tripods now earns them Simoleons. It just does not display on the text. Photography skill and Fine Arts Degree affect the final payout.
As a customer, you can see the employees Tend Tripod. They're just cosmetics and don't actually matter. You just strike a pose with your Pose Player and select Ask for Photoshoot either from a Tripod or the Ticket Kiosk. Selecting the photographer affects your payout.
Self service as a customer now also cost you Simoleons.
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Fashion Studio:
The Make-Up Chair and Wardrobe Pedestal is probably the ACTUAL most asked feature in this update. It's HERE!
Your can assign employees the task Tend Make-Up Chair and Tend Wardrobe Pedestal. This is necessary for customers to find a hairdresser/cloth designer.
For NPC Customers, once you choose the activity Be Styled or Be Outfitted, you can just let the Make-Up studio or Clothing studio work in the background, and you'll earn money from it. Fame and Fine Arts Degree affect the final payout.
However, manually Offer Make-Up/Hairstyle/Outfit will earn your Sims more Simoleons. Manually Offer to Update Appearance on Wardrobe Pedestal also earns your Sim money.
If you want to also earn money from Offer to Update Appearance interaction on Make-Up Chair, use this mod by LittleMsSam.
As a customer, you can choose any interaction on the Make-Up Chair and Wardrobe Pedestal, and you'll be styled/outfitted for a fee! Note that only Ask to Update Appearance lead your Sims to CAS and allow you to customize, the other interactions are random.
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Tarot Reading:
Life and Death allowed us to open a Tarot business, but not as a customer? This is fixed in the mod.
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Front Desk Assistant:
This is so random but some kind Simmer asked for this feature. Requires Get to Work though. While the Front Desk is tended, customers will be automatically welcomed, helping you a tiny bit in customer rating.
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Grocery Shopping:
The Get to Work Lice Freezer now works with Small Business! Stock up with snacks, fizzy juice, harvestables and farm products, and watch your business grow into local Sims-mart!
Works with Brazenlouts' Produce stand, too!
As a customer, you can also purchase ingredients stored in the retail fridge.
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Occult Training:
Occult Training now earns you money based on your rank and length of mentorship.
Note that Occult Training is very strict on customers, so this might not be a good idea for long-term business.
DOWNLOAD HERE
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nvrngl · 2 months ago
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˚ · .˚ ༘ 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒕 𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒌𝒔
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synopsis. of course, you would need to be in outer space to find your soulmate. you probably just wouldn't guess it would be him. quiet, compassionate, understanding, caring. it's beautiful to learn what love is between the quietness of the stars.
pairing. bts ﹢ kim namjoon x engineer!reader ﹢ slow-burn fluff
wordcount. 1.8K
notes. written for someone special. happy birthday, k. 💖✨
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you spot him before you realize who he is.
he’s standing at the far end of the prelaunch observation deck, hands in his pockets, head tilted up as the low morning sun glints off the hull of the ship outside. it’s still in its support frame, sleek and massive, humming gently with systems tests. this is your third mission, and you know every inch of that vessel—she’s beautiful, but terrifying. a good machine, and a dangerous one.
but the man in front of you doesn’t look afraid. he looks like he’s watching something sacred.
you study him for a second: tall, broad-shouldered, dressed down in dark slacks and a fitted crew jacket like everyone else. but something about him is off. too graceful. too careful. and that face—you’ve definitely seen that face before.
you open the digital manifest on your tablet. right there, near the top of the list of private passengers:
KIM NAMJOON – CULTURAL INVESTOR / CREATIVE SPONSOR – CATEGORY: FUNDING TIER A
ah. that explains it.
not just a sponsor. the sponsor. one of the quiet backers who made this entire planetary observation project possible. and now, apparently, he’s going with you.
you’re still staring when he turns around.
his gaze lands on you instantly. he doesn’t look surprised—just curious.
“do you know her?” he asks. it takes you a second to realize he’s talking about the ship.
you glance past him at the hull. “yeah,” you say. “i helped build her.”
his eyes widen, just slightly. “seriously?”
you nod.
he smiles, and it changes everything. softer. open. “that’s incredible.”
you shrug like it’s no big deal. but your chest is warm.
“i’m namjoon,” he offers, holding out a hand.
“i know,” you say before you can stop yourself.
his smile quirks up at the edge. “oh?”
“not like that,” you rush to explain. “you’re in the manifest. i wasn’t—googling you.”
he laughs. “i wouldn’t blame you if you had. i’m… kind of hard to ignore.”
that makes you pause. not because he’s wrong. but because the way he says it—it’s not cocky. more like he’s aware of the weight he carries. like he’s lived a long time under a spotlight he never asked for.
“well,” you say, gesturing toward the ship, “you’re not the biggest star here.”
he follows your gaze, grins. “true. she’s stealing my thunder.”
you don’t mean to keep talking to him. you really don’t. but somehow, the conversation flows. he asks about your background, not just to be polite but with actual interest. propulsion engineering. systems operations. orbital stabilization. and when you glance up, expecting a blank stare, he’s just nodding, listening.
“you don’t talk like the other guests,” you say quietly after a while.
“they talk too much?”
“they talk like they paid to feel important.”
he looks at you for a long moment. then nods. “i didn’t pay to feel important. i paid to feel small.”
you blink.
“i’ve been… big,” he says softly. “for so long. and i think i forgot what it feels like to be nothing next to the stars.”
you don’t say anything. you don’t need to.
you get it.
you’re not assigned to passenger detail. not directly. but with a support crew this small, your paths cross again before launch—training simulations, pressure drills, safety briefs.
he’s always asking questions. good ones. he wants to know how the oxygen cycles work, what happens if the comms go dark. not in a panicky way. more like a man building a map in his mind. preparing to be quiet in the chaos.
you like that.
launch day.
you’re strapped in sideways, reading out engine vitals from the primary screen. namjoon’s strapped in two rows behind you.
you hear his voice over the com just before ignition.
“hey.”
you glance back.
“don’t let me die up here.”
you smile behind your mask. “don’t give me a reason to.”
he grins.
then the countdown hits zero.
and the world becomes light and fire and ascent.
the ship settles into quiet orbit like an exhale.
you unstrap. stretch. check your station.
when you look up, namjoon is floating a little above his seat, hair fluffy, limbs loose, laughing quietly to himself.
“first time in zero-g?” you ask, pushing over.
“yeah,” he says breathlessly. “it’s… insane.”
you anchor near him, guiding him toward the wall handle. his fingers graze yours as he grabs on.
“how do you even get used to this?” he asks.
“you don’t,” you say. “you just stop fighting it.”
he stares at you.
“that sounds like a metaphor.”
you shrug. “maybe.”
you fall into rhythm.
not all at once—just slowly, piece by piece, like systems syncing up after launch. there’s always a strange stillness to space travel once the engines go quiet. you’d call it peaceful, if it weren’t for the constant risk of death.
but namjoon makes it feel different.
he's quiet, most of the time. not withdrawn—just intentional. when he speaks, it's with purpose. and when he doesn’t, he’s listening. really listening. not the polite kind of listening people do when they're waiting for their turn to talk. it’s something deeper. like he absorbs everything you say and tucks it away somewhere safe.
on day eight, you catch him in the rec module, seated cross-legged, reading a thick reference manual on atmospheric stabilization.
“you studying for my job?” you tease, floating over to him with your tablet.
he looks up, smiling sheepishly. “figured it was time i knew what half your acronyms mean.”
“half of them are made up anyway.”
“what, like S.E.F.T.?”
“strictly-engineered-fake-terminology,” you deadpan.
his laughter fills the small space, warm and open. you’re still smiling when you settle into the seat beside him, your shoulder brushing his for just a moment. he doesn’t move away.
“want the short version?” you offer.
he nods.
so you start pointing at the diagrams. explaining the way oxygen scrubs through the filters, how backup valves reroute when the CO₂ levels spike, and what would happen if someone forgot to do their job.
he listens. asks smart questions. furrows his brow in this way that makes a tiny crease form between his eyebrows.
you want to reach out and smooth it with your thumb.
you don’t.
by day twelve, he’s always where you are.
not in a clingy way. just… present.
if you’re doing diagnostics in the nav deck, he happens to walk through.
if you’re refitting the safety lockers, he shows up to help unprompted, sleeves rolled up, offering to hold the panel steady.
he isn’t annoying about it either. he never hovers. never flirts. he just makes himself useful.
and when the rest of the passengers start forming their little elite cliques—perfect smiles, perfectly curated zero-g photos—namjoon doesn’t join in. he just drifts next to you, eyes shining as you point out the way europa’s frozen surface glitters like powdered glass under the reflection of jupiter.
“it doesn’t even look real,” he murmurs.
“it is,” you say.
he glances sideways at you.
“you’ve seen so much more than most people already,” you add. “and you’re still impressed.”
“that’s the thing about beauty,” he replies. “the more you know, the more precious it gets.”
you don’t know what to say to that.
so you just… look at him.
and that moment stretches—like gravity’s got you both in its pull.
on day sixteen, you’re in the crew galley late.
you’ve been rewiring a misbehaving circuit in the medbay panel and haven’t eaten since morning. there’s barely anything to choose from—sealed rations and watery rehydrated noodles—but it’s better than nothing.
he finds you there, crouched in your oversized hoodie, elbows on the tiny metal counter.
“you always eat alone?” he asks softly, setting down a tray beside yours.
“not always. just when i stink of coolant.”
“i don’t mind.”
you raise an eyebrow.
“you could be covered in engine grease and i’d still sit here,” he says, amused. “maybe even more enthusiastically.”
you chuckle despite yourself.
he cracks his noodles open. steam fogs the air. you both sit in silence for a while, just chewing, warm knees bumping gently under the table.
“what’s it like?” you ask quietly. “being you.”
he blinks. “being me?”
you nod. “rich. famous. talked about. loved. hated. everything in between.”
he doesn’t answer right away. just stirs his soup slowly.
“lonely,” he says at last.
your throat tightens.
“people love what i give them,” he continues. “but sometimes i wonder if anyone really knows me. not the stage version. not the brand. just… the guy who likes dusty books and ugly sweaters and being in places like this, where no one expects him to perform.”
you don’t say anything.
you just reach across the tiny table. fingers brushing his.
and he lets them stay.
on day twenty-one, he finds you in the viewport corridor.
you’re lying against the cool glass, lights low, watching jupiter pass like a god through the black.
he settles beside you without speaking.
for ten whole minutes, neither of you say a word.
then—
“if the ship failed right now,” he says softly, “would it be quick?”
you turn your head slowly.
“yeah,” you say. “you wouldn’t feel a thing.”
he nods.
“why?” you whisper.
“i think…” he hesitates. “i think part of me came here not just for the stars. but because if something went wrong… no one would be able to say i didn’t go out doing something i loved.”
your heart aches.
he’s not dramatic about it. he doesn’t cry. but there’s a pain behind his voice. one he probably doesn’t let many people hear.
you shift closer. your hand finds his in the dark.
“you’re not going out, namjoon,” you say. “not on my ship.”
he squeezes your hand once.
and then doesn’t let go.
on day twenty-five, someone makes a comment.
one of the other passengers, leaning against a wall in the gym module, eyeing you and namjoon as you float through.
“bet that one’s already got her bunk warmed,” the man says under his breath, loud enough for you to hear.
you stop.
namjoon hears it too.
but before you can snap, he just reaches for your hand—gently, deliberately—and tugs you forward.
doesn’t look at the guy. doesn’t flinch.
just takes you with him. somewhere quiet.
“thank you,” you say when you’re alone.
he shrugs. “wasn’t worth it.”
you tilt your head. “you didn’t even deny it.”
he looks at you.
and for the first time since launch, there’s heat in his gaze.
“maybe because… part of me doesn’t want to.”
the silence pulses around you like air between lightning strikes.
you swallow. “joon—”
he steps closer. just slightly. enough for you to feel the warmth of his chest.
but he doesn’t kiss you. doesn’t make a move.
he just says, “i like being around you. a lot. but i’ll never push.”
you nod, heart pounding.
“okay,” you whisper.
and he smiles.
you leave the room with your fingers brushing again, and this time—he laces them through yours.
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𓂃˖ ࣪⊹ navigation : all works ; guidelines ; let's be friends .ᐟ
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